Home Is Where My Heart Is
by ytsgrl
Summary: Sequel to The New Girl, set five years after The New Girl ends, the bonds of friendship that were so strong in high school have been tested. As the friends all come back together, will their friendships stay strong, or have they grown too far apart?
1. Chapter 1: It's Been Five Years

**_Author's Note: Alright! Here we go! This is the sequel to The New Girl. If you haven't read The New Girl, you're not going to understand what's going on in this story, so go read it! :) I love reviews so please review! Thanks! Enjoy!_**

**Chapter One**

**It's Been Five Years**

**Savannah POV**

I always liked fast cars. I had been driving the same Aston Martin Vanquish for five years, despite having plenty of money to have bought a new one by now. So it came as a surprise to me, when I found myself preparing to move a long distance for the third time in my life, that I didn't choose to drive my Aston Martin.

The condo was sold. The boxes were packed and loaded into the moving truck. I handed the keys to the Aston Martin to my loyal assistant and patted her on her shoulder.

"You're fired." I told her simply, "Enjoy the car."

I slipped into my brand new Lexus LS hybrid and sighed, looking into the rearview mirror at the building which held the condo where so much of the last five years had gone wrong. My marriage, my career, my child… everything died in that house. I couldn't live there anymore. I had to erase it from my memory.

As I hit the open road I was relieved to look behind me and for the first time in years feel like the demons of my past couldn't catch up to me. I had been trying to run away from them in my fast car for a long time and yet here I was, in my hybrid car, going the speed limit, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Of course, I wasn't going to be able to erase all the memories at once. The events that had shaped my current life began to come back to me in a rush…

"_Savannah?" _

_I heard my name being called from somewhere near my front door and I recognized the voice, a smile immediately spreading across my face as I stood and raced from my bedroom to the entryway._

"_Nathan!" I jumped onto my best friend, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, placing my lips firmly on top of his for a passionate kiss, "I missed you."_

"_I missed you too beautiful." Nathan smiled at me but the smile didn't spread to his eyes as he held me in his embrace._

"_What's wrong?" I asked him, slipping down from around him and standing instead in front of him._

"_Um… maybe we should sit down?" Nathan motioned to the living room and I frowned but followed him, sitting down on the couch cross-legged facing him._

"_Nate, what's going on? You show up out of the blue to my condo in New York City and not that I'm complaining but you don't seem very happy to be here."_

"_I have to tell you something." Nathan took a deep breath as he wrung his hands together like he always did when he was nervous, "And you're not going to be happy with me."_

"_Ok, well, tell me. We're best friends. Better than best friends. We can get through this." I was sure it would all be ok, despite how nervous he seemed in this moment._

"_You remember that I told you Haley came to see me at Duke the weekend before we were officially going to file the divorce a few months ago? When we were filling out the paperwork and getting everything ready?"_

_I nodded, too afraid to speak now that I knew this whole thing had something to do with Haley._

"_So um, we sort of… we had sex that weekend and it was completely a mistake ok?" He was staring at me and I know the surprised expression on my face must be scaring him, "We both admitted it was a mistake. It was a last ditch effort to make sure we were doing the right thing and the divorce was final like a week later so it didn't even matter at all."_

"_But it does matter because you're here and you're scared to tell me something and I don't think that was the something you were scared to tell me…" I took a deep breath and I could see in his eyes the fear was still looming, "So what is it?"_

"_She's pregnant." A single tear fell down Nathan's cheek but a thousand of them seemed to burst from my eyes in the same instant._

"_I…" I couldn't form words through my tears even though I wasn't even sure why I was crying. Was I crying for my best friend who was now having a baby with his ex wife? Was I crying for myself because I felt like I was going to lose the deeper connection I had with my best friend, my sort of boyfriend?_

"_Savannah…" Nathan pulled me into his arms and held me as we both cried, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."_

I sighed as the drive continued, pulling out of the city and finally onto the stretch of highway where trees and grass grew around me instead of landscaping. My memories progressed from the last and I let myself fall back into my thoughts as I drove.

"_So does Nathan know you're here?" Lucas asked as he and I relaxed in the last of the North Carolina sun before fall would be setting in. _

_We sipped glasses of iced tea, mine spiked with a bit of vodka, and relaxed in the back yard of the house Lucas had lived in since he had started college the year before. Technically it was Bryan's house, but whenever I visited, I made sure it was when Bryan was out of town, so it had become more like Lucas's house with every visit._

"_I don't think so." I sighed and squinted into the sun as I looked over at Lucas, "I didn't tell him I was coming here to see you. Did you tell him?"_

"_No." Lucas sighed back at me, "Are you two even on speaking terms anymore?"_

"_We speak, it's just hard." I admitted for the first time months, "We were more than just friends… I thought that after their divorce we'd actually make it official you know? Like 'Hi, this is my boyfriend Nathan. Nathan meet…" whoever the hell I felt like introducing him to. And instead it's, 'Hi, this is my best friend Nathan. We used to sleep together until he knocked up his ex-wife and now we can barely talk without arguing about the status of our quasi-relationship."_

_Lucas frowned at me but nodded._

"_I'm sorry." He said simply, "Sorry you have to deal with that."_

"_It's not your fault Luke. Everyone warned us when we started sleeping together that it wasn't going to work without us labeling it and look! Everyone was right."_

"_But you're not bitter at all right?" Lucas laughed._

"_Nope. Not bitter at all." I lied and sipped my drink, "Let's quit talking about me. How are you and Brooke doing? I called her because I was gonna go see her in California instead of coming to see you but she didn't call me back."_

"_Gee thanks." Lucas rolled his eyes, "She's good. She's getting Clothes Over Bros off the ground officially. She was probably just busy and that's why she didn't call you. She would love to see you, I'm sure."_

"_I'm sure she'd love to see you more." I eyed him, "When was the last time you went to see her or she came here?"_

"_It's been a few months. Six months and 14 days to be exact." Lucas sighed again, "I miss her."_

"_Well let's go see her then. All we're doing is hanging out in the back yard. Let's go to Los Angeles. We can see Brooke. I can finally attend this meeting with some fashion designer my agent wants me to meet. We'll have fun, what do you say?"_

"_I'll do it on one condition." Lucas replied and I frowned._

"_I have to bargain with you to go see your girlfriend?"_

"_No, truth is I'll go even if you say no to this condition but please do this for me first?"_

_I crinkled my nose in protest but shrugged and agreed._

"_Talk to Bryan. He's here, in town anyway. He knew you were coming and he knew you wouldn't come if you knew he wasn't out of town so he went to stay at a hotel but I think you need to talk to him. He might be good for you right now."_

"_Like a rebound? Like, bring my ex-boyfriend into my life so he can cover the pain of losing my best friend to his pregnant ex-wife?" I laughed loudly, "Maybe you should go to California and I'll just transfer this vacation to Tree Hill to see my brother, sister-in-law and niece."_

"_No! Savannah!" Lucas frowned, "You always rotate us right? You have any vacation time you have a rotation that you follow to make sure you keep in touch with all of us, just like we promised to do a year and a half ago at the fire pit in Haley's back yard. This is my week with you so don't chicken out. Talk to Bryan and then we can go see Brooke. Deal?"_

_I didn't want to agree. I wanted to tell Lucas to go to hell. The last thing I needed in my life was Bryan drama, but Lucas looked like he wanted me to do this so badly that I couldn't say no. It was a chronic condition. Saying no to boys with blue eyes was just something I couldn't do._

I stopped at a gas station to relieve my bladder and pick up a few snacks for the road. I stood in line waiting to buy my potato chips, beef jerky and Coca-Cola. In front of me was a woman about my age holding the hand of a little boy who kept turning around to smile at me. His smile lit up his face and I couldn't resist smiling back and waving. He reminded me of someone else.

"_Sometimes, when you smile, you still look like the five-year-old version of you who used to pull my hair and call me stupid." _

_Bryan laughed as we lounged on my balcony overlooking Manhattan. He tightened his arms around me and kissed my cheek._

"_When you remember things like that you remind me of how stupid you were at that age."_

"_Hey!" I smacked his chest and he continued to laugh, "That's not nice."_

"_I'm sorry." Bryan grinned, "You're right that wasn't nice. How can I make it up to you?"_

_I considered it for a second and then placed my hands against his chest, digging my nails into him lightly. Just hard enough for him to groan and close his eyes._

"_Make love to me." I whispered into his ear, nibbling on his ear lobe._

"_Right here?" He raised an eyebrow at me as he eyed our surroundings._

"_No." I didn't want to be the crazy neighbor who had sex on her balcony, "Take me inside."_

_Bryan stood and in one swift motion picked me up into his arms and carried me inside, letting me fall gently onto the bed as he climbed over me and dipped his lips to connect with mine. Things were just beginning to get heated when my phone rang in my pocket and I groaned, pulling it out and seeing Nathan's name scrawled across the screen._

"_I have to get this." I kissed Bryan quickly and straightened my shirt as I stood and headed back out to the balcony, "Hello?"_

"_Hey you." Nathan's voice still brought a smile to my face even though I hadn't seen him in over a year and our friendship had become extremely strained, "How are you?"_

"_I'm good." I wasn't sure if I should elaborate on that, "Um, how are you?"_

"_I'm good." Nathan said, "I was wondering if you had gotten the invitation I sent you."_

"_The invitation?" I pretended to have no idea what he was talking about so it didn't look like I had been avoiding the RSVP._

"_Yeah, to Jamie's birthday party? It's only his first birthday so it's probably not a big deal if we do something big but I just wanted everyone who is important to me there for him on his birthday, so he knows how many people love him." Nathan was incredibly upbeat and I wondered if he was just pretending to be that upbeat so I didn't think he was just inviting me out of obligation as my "best friend."_

"_Nate… I may have misplaced it. I check the mail sometimes and just toss it on the counter so I probably didn't even realize it came. Um… when is it?"_

"_Two weeks." Nathan sighed and I realized he had just lost all traces of upbeat, "It's fine if you don't want to come. I understand it's just… I was hoping we could try to fix this between us. Fix whatever void has grown between us and go back to being best friends. I miss you."_

"_I miss you too." I replied honestly, my heart breaking for the loss of our friendship, "I will try to make it to Jamie's party ok? I don't know what my schedule looks like right now but I will definitely try."_

"_Thank you." He said it so quietly I almost didn't hear it, "I'll hopefully see you in two weeks."_

"_Yeah."_

_I hung up the phone and headed back into my bedroom only to find the lights had been dimmed, the blankets drawn, and candles had been lit around the entire room. Bryan was sitting on the bed smiling up at me when I entered._

"_Nathan?" He asked._

_I nodded and he just looked away, took a deep breath, and then looked back._

"_He is your best friend so I can't really be upset that you're interrupting sex with me for a phone call from your ex-boyfriend."_

"_He was never my boyfriend." I clarified, more for my sake then for Bryan's. I had to keep telling myself that what I had with Nathan was never official to try to make it less real, "He was calling to invite me to his son's birthday party."_

"_I thought you got the invite in the mail already." Bryan frowned._

_I sighed._

"_I did and I purposely ignored it." I sat down on the bed next to Bryan, "Let's not talk about this okay? Let's go back to the sex."_

_He smiled and pulled me into his arms, back onto the bed where we resumed foreplay in the candlelight. _

"_Marry me." Bryan said out of nowhere when we laid sated on the bed thirty minutes later._

"_What?" I turned to frown at him._

"_Marry me." Bryan repeated, looking into my eyes, "I know that in the past we've had our issues because I couldn't commit to you but that's behind us now. I left law school in North Carolina so I could move to New York City and be with you. We live here together and I've never been more sure in my entire life that I love you Savannah Carter. Please, be my wife?"_

_He was actually serious. Staring into his crystal eyes I sighed. If I said no, he'd be upset and we'd probably break up, which I didn't want. If I said yes, I would need a long engagement. I was definitely not ready to marry Bryan… or was I?_

_What was stopping me? I'd loved him my whole life. My modeling career was coming along nicely. We were already living together. He had committed to me by moving here and his career was still on track. NYU law school had accepted him so he'd still be becoming a lawyer. We were good together. There was no reason for us not to marry._

"_Yes." I said quietly and his eyes widened as if he'd expected me to say no._

"_Really?" A grin started to spread across his features, "You'll marry me?"_

"_Yes." I nodded and he pulled me into a heated embrace._

"_I love you so much." He whispered against my lips, "I'm so happy you said yes. I really didn't think you would."_

_I smiled at him and sighed._

"_Sometimes people surprise you."_

The signs said 360 miles to Tree Hill. I was almost halfway home. It had been a long time since I'd been there. My house was probably dusty and gross by now, unless Xander and Peyton had been taking care of it. I hadn't asked them to or expected it of them, but they might have anyway. It sounded like something they would do, if for no other reason then to let Sienna play dress up in my closet. I missed my niece so much.

"_Sienna bean! Where are you?" I walked slowly through Peyton and Xander's house playing hide and seek with my three year old niece, "Come out, come out. I'm gonna find you!"_

"_Base!" Sienna yelled and I groaned, turning around to see her standing next to the fireplace we had designated our base._

"_No fair! I've been it three times in a row!" I pretended to pout as I fell down on the couch, "I don't wanna play anymore."_

"_No!" Sienna jumped up on the couch, her blonde ringlets bouncing around her face, "Don't quit Aunt Savannah!"_

"_But you always win!" I tried really hard not to laugh when her face fall._

"_I'll be it. You hide."_

_I grinned at her persistence and shook my head._

"_No, it's ok. I'll be it one more time."_

_She grinned widely and took off before I could even start counting._

"_One… two… three…" _

_My cell phone ringing interrupted the counting but I figured Sienna wouldn't mind if she had a little extra time hiding so I answered it._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey beautiful. What are you doing?"_

"_Playing hide and seek with Sienna." I smiled at the sound of my husband's voice, "What are you doing?"_

"_Thinking about you. You've been gone like three days and I miss you like crazy. When are you coming home to me?"_

"_Bryan…" I giggled, "Four more days baby. I wish you were here."_

"_Me too. Already school is kicking my ass and I'm only two weeks in. Thank god this is my last year of law school."_

"_And then you're a full fledged lawyer." I grinned._

"_Aunt Savannah! Where are you?" Sienna called from somewhere in the house and I laughed._

"_I gotta go baby. Sienna's waiting for me to come find her. I'll call you later okay?"_

"_Ok, really quick, when is Nathan's kid's birthday party?"_

"_Jamie's party is tomorrow." I responded, wondering why Bryan would care._

"_Alright, call me later. I love you."_

"_I love you too." I hung up the phone frowning but shrugged it off as I went in search of Sienna, "Oh Sienna… I'm gonna get you."_

"_Hello!" I heard Peyton come home and immediately a blonde munchkin came running down the stairs._

"_Mommy!" Sienna jumped at Peyton who laughed but swung her around happily as she set her groceries down on the counter._

"_Hey baby girl. You having fun with Aunt Savannah?"_

"_Yep. We played hide and seek and I won, three times."_

"_Got you. You're it." I tagged her and she scoffed at me._

"_That's not fair! Mommy's here."_

"_Mommy's not base." I stuck my tongue out and her and she stuck hers out back._

"_Stop it!" Peyton frowned at me, "You're teaching her bad habits."_

"_She's three. She'll grow out of them."_

"_You didn't." Xander entered the kitchen then too and Sienna quickly wiggled out of her mommy's hands to run to her daddy and try to jump into his arms, "Hold on kiddo. I gotta set Eli down first."_

_Peyton happily took her newborn son from Xander's hands so that he could pick up Sienna. I watched the four of them so content and wondered if this is what it would be like in a few years for me and Bryan. We had only been married a month and already I was expecting our first child, although no one else knew that little secret._

"_Nathan called. He said that the birthday party is going to be moved to tonight because Haley has to leave first thing in the morning for tour rehearsals so if you haven't bought Jamie's present yet, I suggest going shopping now." Peyton smiled at me and I groaned._

"_I bought his present already but I really don't know if I'm up to this Peyton. Nathan and I… we just aren't the same as we used to be."_

"_Savannah, he invited you last year and you flaked. You didn't tell him you were engaged. You haven't told him you got married. For being best friends, you two are really good at avoiding each other and keeping secrets." Peyton raised her eyebrow at me as an almost challenge to back out of this birthday party._

_She was right of course. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the way things used to be with Nathan and I, but the fact was, we could probably never get back to that place. Ever since I found out Haley was pregnant, we had drifted farther and farther apart. His son was turning two in one day and I had yet to meet him. Some best friend I was._

"_I don't want to keep secrets from him." I insisted, "It's just kind of the way things have worked out. Besides, you didn't know I was married until afterwards either and you're family."_

_Bryan and I had chosen a very elegant, private ceremony in Las Vegas with exactly two people in attendance. Camille and Tim. _

"_I'm still holding that against you by the way." Xander said._

_I rolled my eyes and turned to head out of the kitchen._

"_I have to go shopping! One present isn't going to be enough."_

"_I wanna go!" Sienna ran after me, slipping her hand into mine and looking up at me with her jade green eyes, "Please?"_

"_Can Sienna go with me?" I called out to my brother and sister-in-law._

_There was a moment's hesitation and then they both yelled out "ok."_

"_Alright kiddo. Let's go shopping."_

_At the mall, Sienna and I went looking for everything we thought Jamie might like. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know the kid so I had no idea what he liked and Sienna was a three year old girl. She only knew what she liked._

"_He probably likes basketball right?" I asked her as we entered the toy store._

"_He loves basketball." She replied, finally certain of one thing Jamie liked, "He always tries to play but he's not very good."_

"_He will be." I knew he would because I knew his dad and his uncle and unfortunately his grandfather and they were all amazing basketball players, "So let's get him basketball stuff."_

_We bought him a junior size basketball and hoop from the toy store. We bought him toddler sized basketball jerseys from the sports store. I even bought him what I assumed were toddler sized basketball shoes. Four presents I figured would be enough for this year and the last year, which I had missed._

_When I arrived at the party a few hours later with five presents, I realized I may have overdone it a bit._

"_Oh my Goodness! You have officially just become his favorite aunt." Haley took the presents from me and set them on a table nearby, "It's so good to see you."_

"_You too." I lied because I didn't want to hurt her feelings and tell her I harbored resentment towards her for getting pregnant, "How are you?"_

"_I'm good. Great actually." Haley patted her baby bump, "Baby number two on the way."_

"_Congratulations Haley. That's great. You and Nathan must be really happy."_

"_Oh God Savannah, no. Nathan and I aren't together." Haley laughed as if that was the craziest thing for me to think even though no one had bothered to mention otherwise, "I married Jake like a year ago. You didn't know that?"_

_I hated to admit that anytime entertainment news mentioned Haley James I changed the channel. Anytime sports news mentioned Nathan Scott I tuned it out. I also didn't have the greatest relationships with any of my friends anymore. That was part of the reason there were only two people at my wedding. I doubted they would have even showed up if they weren't related to the groom._

"_I didn't know." I admitted to Haley with a guilty smile, "But congratulations anyway. I'm really happy for you."_

"_Thanks, you too. I heard you got married recently too."_

"_Yeah…" I nodded slowly, "Bryan and I got married last month."_

"_Well where is he? He didn't come with you?"_

_I sighed._

"_No, he's still in law school and school just started a couple weeks ago so he had to stay home. He wanted to be here though."_

_These days lies seemed to flow from my mouth more than truth. I lied to cover my feelings, my discomfort, my moods, my shortcomings. I lied for my husband and for myself and… just about everything really._

"_Well, Nathan is going to be so happy to see you. Come on!" Haley grabbed my hand and drug me towards the backyard where I could spot the body of Nathan Scott before we had even walked out the back door, "Nathan! Look who showed!"_

_Nathan turned towards me and his eyes lit up almost immediately. I recognized the look. It was one I had seen a million times. One that I cherished and craved at the same time. One that I hadn't seen in a very long time._

_Before I knew what was happening I was in his arms, being held onto as if Nathan thought I wasn't real. _

"_Nathan… I can't breathe." I joked with him and he jumped back a bit._

_He looked me over and smiled._

"_I missed you." He said simply. _

_And just like that, I was under Nathan Scott's spell all over again._

_Jamie was the second cutest kid I had met in my life, right below Sienna and if I was honest, he only came in second because I had known Sienna longer. He was charming despite talking in only jumbled half sentences. He had his daddy's eyes, which immediately meant I would never be able to tell him no. He also had his daddy's smile and he smiled a lot._

"_Come on!" Jamie held my hand and pulled me towards the swing set that was set up on one side of the backyard, "Up!"_

_I figured he wanted to swing so I picked him up and sat him in the swing, pulling him back and then pushing him gently while he giggled. I watched the party go on in the rest of the yard and was so entranced by the little boy's giggles and the life that continued on around me, I didn't notice when Nathan moved to stand beside me._

"_You are going to be a great mom someday." Nathan said and I jumped, turning to look at him standing next to me._

"_You think so?" I asked._

"_I know so." He smiled and motioned to Jamie, "He loves you already and he's only known you a few hours."_

_I grinned._

"_Well, if you must know, I'm pregnant." I told him, effectively making him the first person other than me to know._

"_You are?" Nathan's eyes went wide in surprise, "Oh."_

"_I'm married too." I showed Nathan my wedding ring which sat like a rock on my finger, but immediately I felt guilty for not sharing the news with him sooner, "Nathan, I'm so sorry. I should have told you when it was happening. I mean… when he proposed and when we planned the wedding… I should have shared that with you. And I didn't so… I'm sorry."_

"_It's ok." Nathan looked a little hurt but he was nodding as he looked away, "So um, who's the guy? Anyone I know?"_

"_Bryan." I said simply and waited for a reaction._

_Nathan's head snapped to look at me and his mouth fell open._

"_Bryan Stevens? The same Bryan who…"_

"_Yes." I didn't want Nathan to expand his question, "That's the one. We're married."_

_He looked like he wanted to say more. His mouth opened and closed like words should be coming out but no sound came forth. Finally he said one word._

"_Congratulations."_

"_Thanks." I sighed and the silence widened, "Um, wanna hear something funny?"_

_Nathan turned to me, smiled and nodded._

"_So when Haley told me she was expecting baby number two I uh, congratulated her… and you."_

_Immediately Nathan began to laugh._

"_Seriously? You didn't know we weren't together?"_

"_No." I shrugged, "We haven't exactly been telling each other everything, you and me, so I guess I just assumed that you guys had Jamie together so you got back together."_

"_Savannah…" Nathan groaned. He stopped Jamie's swing, pulled him out of it and told him to go find Haley. _

_I assumed he wanted Jamie away from us so he could talk to me alone._

"_Is that why you don't come around? Why you don't call? Why you don't tell me anything anymore?" Nathan forced me to look directly in his eyes and I knew I couldn't lie to him this time._

"_Yeah." I admitted, "I was really upset when you told me Haley was pregnant. I just assumed that you guys were gonna be together. I mean, you would never be like Dan so I figured you'd want to be there…"_

"_I've been there. Every step of the way. She moved into the condo with me at Duke so I could go to school and take care of her during her pregnancy. When Jamie was born, my life revolved around him and eventually Haley had to get back to her career so mostly, I've had Jamie to myself. I've hired a really great nanny to be around when Haley and I can't but essentially Savannah, I'm a single dad. Haley tries but it's hard to be a mom when she's globetrotting around the world."_

_I was surprised to say the least. Never in a million years would I have thought Haley would put her career over her child. And Nathan as a single dad… I knew he would be an amazing father but I always suspected it would be with the support of the child's mother there too._

"_What about basketball?" I asked him, wondering where his dreams fell into all of this, "Did you… Duke? What happened to all of that?"_

"_I played for Duke for three seasons. I made myself eligible for the draft and I just got drafted to Atlanta so we'll be moving there in a few weeks." Nathan sighed, "I can't believe after we went through so much together that you and I have grown so far apart."_

"_I'm sorry Nathan." I took full responsibility for the giant chasm which had come between us, "I was selfish and I just pulled away from you to protect myself… I'm sorry."_

_Nathan sighed and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tight._

"_Well, I can't let you take full responsibility for the way things are. After all, phones go both ways and so do planes, trains, and cars right? I could have come see you. I didn't have to wait for you to come see me."_

_I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair._

"_Let me take full responsibility. You have enough to be responsible for." I motioned to Jamie, Sienna, Jenny and even Karen and Larry's daughter Lily running around the yard, "He's a great kid. You're doing an amazing job."_

"_Thanks." Nathan smiled at me, "Seriously, congratulations on your marriage and the baby… you deserve happiness."_

"_Thank you." I smiled back at him and let my head fall to his shoulder, "Congratulations on the NBA."_

Turner's Crossroads, VA… not even a real town but the point which marked I was officially heading into North Carolina on I-95. Three hours until I would be home. Three short hours left of this ten hour journey down memory lane. How could life have become so complicated in five short years? I was only 23 years old. Life should still be fun, carefree, happy… and instead I felt like it was over.

"_If you had told me you were coming out here I would have come with you." Bryan approached me where I stood in the graveyard, startling me more than I would have liked him to know, "Sorry if I scared you."_

"_Well, it's midnight in a graveyard and I thought I was alone. Nope. No reason I should have been scared."_

"_Savannah…" Bryan placed his hand on my shoulder and though I knew he couldn't see it, my body stiffened at his touch and my eyes narrowed._

"_You shouldn't be here Bryan."_

"_Why not? Savannah, you have to talk to me okay? She was my daughter too!"_

_I could feel the tears start to fall as I stared at the grave in the dark. A tiny angel atop a tiny tombstone for my tiny angel buried below. _

"_Alexandra Claire Stevens. Gone too soon." I read the gravestone aloud and turned to look at Bryan, "Screw you. Maybe if you had actually been there, I'd feel like she was your daughter too but since you weren't… you can stay the hell away from both of us."_

"_Savannah, how was I supposed to know when I left for that conference that you were going to go into labor? You were only six months pregnant! I thought I had three months to go!"_

"_So it's my fault?" I reached up and slapped him without thinking and then gasped when I realized what I had done._

_Bryan clutched his cheek and stared at me._

"_It's not anyone's fault Savannah. She was too early and it's okay to be upset and if you want to blame me, that's okay too but I need you to talk to me okay? I need you to let me help you heal because I know this is hard on you but…"_

"_I want a divorce." I stated simply._

"_You…" Bryan was rendered almost speechless, "You're serious."_

"_Completely serious. I'm done. This was the last straw."_

"_We haven't even been married for a year Savannah and… in New York, we would have to be separated for a year before they'll grant a divorce."_

"_Unless I can prove you cheated on me." Unlike North Carolina, there were ways around the stupid one year separation, "And I have proof."_

"_Bullshit! I did not…"_

"_Try me and see if I'm bluffing." I turned to walk past him and back to my car parked a few feet away, "I expect your shit to be out of my house by the weekend!"_

_My birthday came and went without a party that year. Friends and family tried to call but I didn't answer. Camille even tried to come over, but I didn't let her in. It was easier if my misery only consumed me. It was no use spreading it to everyone around me._

_I spent two full months sitting in the nursery, holding what would have been my daughter's first teddy bear, and I cried. I cried until there were no more tears and when I finally did bring myself to leave, it was only to be granted a divorce. _

"_This is wrong." Bryan reached out to grab my hand as I turned to leave the courthouse after the judgment was made to grant the divorce, "Talk to me."_

_He looked like he had been crying too but his pain meant nothing to me. According to a New York City judge, I officially had nothing more I needed to say to him. Without a word I pulled my hand from his grasp and walked away. _

My phone rang pulling me out of my reverie as I drove down the interstate. I focused on the road as I dug through my purse to locate it then answered without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"So, how far are you?"

"Hi Peyton." I smiled at the sound of my sister-in-law's voice, "I am three hours away."

"We are so excited that you're coming home. Sienna is bouncing off the walls, literally. We have Lily for the night too so they are both just going crazy."

"Where's my brother and nephew?"

"Spain. They'll be back tomorrow but it was a quick trip so he took Eli with him." Peyton sighed, "I um… I was debating how to tell you cause I know you've been going through a lot lately but… I'm pregnant again."

My heart ached with pain and happiness at the same time. Xander and Peyton were the greatest parents and they deserved to have a big family if that was what they wanted, but I couldn't help to feel the loss of my own family at the same time.

"Savannah?"

"Sorry, um… congratulations." I wiped at my face but no tears had fallen. I hadn't cried in over a year. The term 'all cried out' was 100% accurate in my case.

"I can't even imagine what the past year has been like for you Savannah but I didn't want to not tell you and then you find out from someone else…"

"No, Peyt, thank you for telling me. I'm happy for you. You guys deserve to have this family." I sighed, "I just wish I had mine you know?"

"You're part of our family…" Peyton sounded like she was crying and I found myself even envying her tears.

"Hey, I gotta go but I'll see you in three hours okay?"

"Okay." Peyton sniffled apparently wiping her tears.

"Love you Aunt Savannah!" I heard from two little girls in the background and I smiled.

"Tell them I love them too." I told Peyton who relayed the message and then we hung up.

Setting my cell phone back inside my purse I groaned and slammed my hand against my steering wheel in frustration. If I couldn't cry, I needed to express my emotions somehow.

"_You're firing me?" I yelled at my agent in his New York office._

"_No, Savannah, I am not firing you. No one is firing you we're just asking that you take a year or two off okay? You've been through a lot this year and with the way that the Victoria's Secret fashion show went in November… steadily, people are less inclined to work with you."_

"_I screwed up at that fashion show okay? I know I did and I'm really, really sorry but if I don't have modeling I have nothing Matt! You can't do this to me!" I was literally begging him. I was desperate._

"_I'm sorry Savannah." Matthew came around the desk and kneeled down in front of the chair I was sitting in, "You know that I don't want to do this. You're the best model I have or… you used to be."_

"_I still am!" I insisted, "I can be again! I will work my ass off it's just been hard lately and… that fashion show was five months ago. I've been fine since then. I'm sober. No alcohol."_

"_No alcohol?" Matthew raised an eyebrow at me and I groaned._

"_One or two drinks but not like I was. I wouldn't lie to you!"_

"_You just did!" Matthew yelled in frustration, standing and pacing around his office, "Savannah, I love you okay? I don't want to do anything to hurt you, but you have to take time off. Heal yourself. Go home to Tree Hill. Surround yourself with your friends and your family. The girl who signed with me five and a half years ago would be able to accept this and come back stronger."_

"_I'm not the same girl I was five years ago." I said simply._

"_No you're not." Matthew sighed, "If you don't agree to take time off I will fire you. It's your choice. Victoria's Secret agreed not to press charges when you stripped naked on live TV as long as you got help. They even agreed to keep your contract in tact as long as you take time to heal and get some semblance of normality back okay? So either agree to the time off or be fired and possibly face huge fines and jail time. Your choice."_

_Faced with that choice, it wasn't much of a choice at all. I found myself signing the agreed upon leave of absence contract and storming from the office in a rage. The amount of alcohol I drank that night could have filled an Olympic sized swimming pool. 72 hours later I woke up in the hospital._

Two months later, here I was driving to Tree Hill. New York City and the life I had lived there were behind me. I could move forward. I could move on. I could find me again. Find a part of life which I could enjoy again.

"Welcome to Tree Hill, North Carolina. Home of the Ravens."

I smiled as I read the sign on the side of the road and looked down at my recently resurrected basketball jersey sitting on the passenger seat. I had set it there as a memento of what I hoped to gain by moving back to Tree Hill. A reminder of the girl I used to be.

I was a Raven and Tree Hill was my home. I just needed to remember that.


	2. Chapter 2: One Moment

**_Author's Note: Oh my gosh you guys! Thank you so much for the awesome reviews to the first chapter! I am so excited about this story, seriously. I don't know how many of you know this but I have been working on The New Girl for four years! To get it finished finally and be able to move on to a sequel is like a dream come true for me and especially to do it with so much support! my2krazies, DsGirl62003, kapeesh, HistoryNerd, and brilliant brunette, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reviewing. If it wasn't for reviews I really don't think I could keep writing so seriously, thank you. That being said, if there is something you guys want to see happen in this story, let me know. I know that there are definitely a few main ideas I want to hit on with this but hearing what you guys want to see will help me to shape this story so keep telling me what you think okay? Um, here's chapter two, it's Nathan's point of view and I think you guys will like it. Jamie is like my favorite current character on OTH so I had to do a lot with him! :) Enjoy!_**

**Chapter Two**

**One Moment**

**Nathan POV**

"I'm sorry Nathan. If we had known you were coming we would have made sure there was room but…"

"No, it's fine Brooke." I laughed as my sister-in-law motioned around the house which was clearly under construction, "You obviously have a lot going on."

"It's just that there are only two rooms in this house and with everything that's been going on, we had to add more room." Brooke sighed, "The second story won't be ready until next month. I'm so sorry. Lucas will be home in like an hour and then I'm sure he can figure something out for you and Jamie."

"No, no. I um… I can find somewhere for us to stay until we can get our own place. This move back to Tree Hill was so sudden I just didn't think about where we were going to stay and I guess there's some sort of convention in town and so all the hotels are completely booked. I can always go stay with my dad I guess…"

My mind was racing a million miles per second trying to figure out where I was going to house my son and I until we had a chance to find our own home in Tree Hill. My mom had sold my childhood home just six months earlier and then moved to Nebraska with her new boyfriend. My dad still lived at the beach house but I hadn't talked to my dad since Jamie was born. Staying with Brooke and Lucas was obviously out. Peyton and Xander would probably be okay with me crashing there but they already had a full house with their two kids. I was running out of options fast when it occurred to me…

"Nathan, I don't want you to have to stay with Dan. We could make up the couch or something."

"Don't worry about it Brooke. I really appreciate it but I just thought of something. I'll crash your couch if it doesn't work out okay?"

Brooke frowned at me but nodded and sighed.

"Okay, but since you're back now, you have to promise to come over tomorrow for lunch okay?"

"Okay." I hugged her and then shifted Jamie to my other shoulder as he had slept through the entire conversation, "We'll see you tomorrow."

Brooke waved from the doorway while I got Jamie situated in his car seat again and then pulled out of the driveway, heading down the street and towards a house that I knew very well but hadn't seen in years. Hopefully I was right in my assumption that it would be empty.

There were no lights on and no cars in the driveway when I arrived. The grass was overgrown in the front yard. From the looks of it, no one had seen this house in years. It wasn't just me.

I turned the car off and looked at the weathered key on my key ring which should open the front door. I probably should have just thrown this key away like I had my friendship with the owner of the house it belonged to, but I hadn't, just like I hadn't given up hope that one day my friend and I would reconcile.

I didn't get Jamie out of the car while I tried the key. I headed for the front door and inserted my key, praying it turned the lock. When I heard a click, I smiled. She hadn't changed the locks.

Inside the foyer I flipped the light switch and immediately the house came to life again. I saw the ghosts of my past running around this house like I myself had in senior year. Savannah and I running down the stairs to get to school on time, running through the foyer in a race to see who would get control of the TV, dashing out of the kitchen during a party with full cups of alcohol in our hands, kissing under Christmas mistletoe…

I glanced out the open front door to make sure Jamie was still asleep in the car and then ran upstairs to make sure there were still beds in the bedrooms. It seemed that someone had the intention of moving the belongings from the house as everything was in boxes but the step had never been taken to actually remove it.

There were no linens but there were beds. It would have to do for the night. I had blankets and pillows in the car. We could buy sheets tomorrow.

I situated Jamie on what had been my bed five years ago, covering him with a blanket and then heading back downstairs to bring a few of our things inside. I grabbed my bag that had the essentials, toothbrush, toothpaste, clean underwear and a change of clothes for tomorrow. I grabbed Jamie's bag which had the same things.

I locked the car up and then headed inside, tossing the bags into the room where Jamie was sleeping and then getting comfortable, ready to relax after the long seven hour drive from Atlanta with a very talkative almost four year old in my back seat.

Despite the house being obviously uninhabited, the electricity was still on so I wondered if the cable was too. After checking to make sure Jamie was safely tucked in I headed down the hall towards the stairs. My heart fluttered when I passed Savannah's room and I had to stop. I flipped on the light and found myself leaning against the door jam, too scared to actually go into the room but too entranced to walk away.

Like I had when I entered the house earlier, I saw my former self in this room, hanging out with Savannah, eating pizza while we watched ESPN together, making out, making love… I flipped the bedroom light out and headed downstairs. I assumed there was no food in the kitchen so I didn't even look, just headed for the TV and fell down on the couch after locating the remote and flipping it on. I heard voices before I saw the picture but the voices meant that there was a channel which meant there was cable. Weird that all the utilities would still be on when no one had lived here for years.

I found ESPN and resigned myself to watch SportsCenter highlights. I could have probably just gone to bed but I somehow felt that I needed to be awake for a little while longer before letting sleep take over. SportsCenter always relaxed me.

"The big news in the NBA post season is the retirement of Nathan Scott. Just two years into his professional basketball career, Scott, who injured his knee during the playoffs, has announced he will not be returning to the Atlanta Hawks next season and in fact, will not be returning to the NBA at all. Sources say Scott's knee injury was not able to be rehabilitated after three surgery's and intensive physical therapy which would explain the sudden exit from what could have been a super star career."

My knee ached just thinking about everything it had gone through in the past two months since it had been blown out.

"Some say that Scott could have been the greatest basketball player since Michael Jordan. Averaging 32 points per game in his rookie year and 42 points a game in the last season, Nathan Scott was a force to be reckoned with. He was even named league MVP his rookie season, an honor bestowed upon only two rookies before him, Wilt Chamberlin in 1960 and Wes Unseld in 1969. It is rumored that Scott was bought out of the remaining years of his four year contract with the Hawks. If the rumor is true that means he's just been paid upwards of $10,000,000 to walk away from basketball forever."

"Hello?" A female voice called out from the foyer of the house and I froze where I sat, "Is someone here?"

I could recognize that voice anywhere. The sweet sultriness of it had once been the object of every wet dream I had. Who was I kidding? It still was the object of every wet dream I had and considering how long it had been since I got laid, the wet dreams occurred often.

I shook myself from my thoughts and quickly turned off the TV, standing and heading into the foyer slowly. Near the front door, holding a small, dead potted plant in her hand, stood one of my favorite people in the world, Savannah Carter.

"Nathan?" Savannah let out a breath she must have been holding in and let the hand holding the potted plant fall to her side, "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry." I couldn't help but smile at how scared she did seem to be, "I didn't think anyone lived here anymore and I still had my key and we needed a place to stay for a couple nights so… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude."

"No, no." Savannah sighed, "It's totally fine that you're here I just wasn't expecting you to be here so I thought I was gonna have to assault someone."

"With a dead plant?" I pointed to her weapon of choice and she rolled her eyes.

"The pot is heavy. It would have hurt if I had thrown it at you." She argued.

"You're probably right." I agreed, not wanting her to test the theory, "Um… so what are you doing here?"

She frowned at me.

"It's my house…"

"No I know but you haven't lived here in five years right? I mean, it doesn't look like anyone has lived here in awhile."

She nodded slowly, finally setting the pot back outside and closing the door behind her.

"No, you're right. I haven't lived here in five years. I uh.. I'm moving back." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, "New York is so five years ago you know?"

I could tell she was only making the joke because she was nervous. She was biting her lower lip and pretending to clean dirt from under her nails, two easy signs that she was not comfortable standing there and talking to me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me, "I mean I know why you're in my house but why in Tree Hill? I thought you were busy being the first rookie league MVP in 40 years."

She still seemed nervous but it made me feel a little better that she knew something about what had been going on in my life the past few years.

"You hear about league MVP but you don't hear that I blew my knee out?"

"You what?" Her hands went to her mouth and she gasped, "Nathan, what happened?"

"I'll tell you if you come sit down with me." I braved a teasing smile sent her way and she sort of smiled back at me when she nodded her agreement.

We headed into the living room and both of us sat on the couch at separate ends, facing each other but with enough proximity between us where anyone observing could still tell the situation was awkward.

"So you're knee?" She pointed to the knee still wrapped in ace bandages, now revealed from sitting down and my basketball shorts rising up a bit.

"Well, I had a great rookie season. They signed me to a four year contract. We played great my second year and made it to the playoffs but in game 5 of our first playoff series, I go up for the same rebound as Mike Rhinebeck from the Celtics and when we come down he kind of comes down sideways which means I can't land or I'll be standing on him so I try to correct myself and our legs end up tangled so when I land not only do I land directly on my knee but the way his leg is hooked in mine it twists just the bottom part of my leg so I not only shattered my knee but tore just about everything that could be torn." I told the whole story with my hands so that she could get a bit of the visual of it, "Three surgeries later, I tried to rehabilitate but there's not really any way to come back from that kind of injury so the Hawks bought out the remaining years of my contract and I decided to move back here."

"God Nathan, that sucks." Savannah was wincing and I was glad then that she hadn't actually seen it happen on TV. It was much worse watching the real thing than watching my hand illustrated version. I knew, I watched it over and over while I was in the hospital afterwards, "So, you're back here for good?"

I nodded without saying a word.

"That's kind of funny actually." Savannah smiled genuinely for the first time since she arrived, "We both decide to move back to Tree Hill on the same day?"

"Well, everyone always said that we were connected on levels even we didn't know about."

Savannah's expression turned serious and she nodded slowly, returning to biting her lower lip.

"So why are you back?" I finally asked after an awkward silence, "Last I heard you had just gotten married. You were expecting a baby. Successful supermodel… why leave all that? I mean, I'm assuming…"

"Don't assume." Savannah sort of snapped at me and I shut up immediately, "I'm sorry it's just… I got divorced. My baby died. I kind of fucked up my modeling career and so I was pretty much required to stop modeling for two years or go to jail."

"Jail?" I couldn't comprehend what she had just said, "Wait. What? Savannah…"

It was an old habit to try to comfort her when she was upset and she was clearly upset now. She looked like she wanted to cry but no tears formed as I moved to her and pulled her into my arms. Divorce? Death? Jail? What the hell had happened to her in the two short years since I had seen her last.

When I let her go she looked scared more than anything else. She sat in front of me and just stared into my eyes as I stared back at her. No matter how long we had been apart I still possessed the ability to look into her eyes and see her soul and right now, I could see her soul was hurting.

"Run that by me again. I… It's a lot to comprehend."

"Can we not talk about it tonight?" She reached out and put her hand on my knee gently, "Let's just say we've both been brutally wounded in the last two years and leave it at that for now okay?"

I felt guilty for letting our friendship get lost in the past few years. It sounded like she could have used a best friend and from the way she was staring at me, I knew no one else had stepped up to fill the role I had held.

"Actually, I'm really tired." I said as a way to transition the mood, "Why don't we get some sleep and start catching up tomorrow? Even if you don't want to talk about everything let's just… talk because I missed you. And now that we're both back here, at the same time, and we're both trying to heal, what better opportunity is there for us to get back to the way we were?"

"We'll never be the way we were Nathan." Savannah said simply and my heart fell, "I don't think it's possible not because I'm not willing to try or because I don't believe in what our friendship was but because I am so damaged it would take a miracle to bring me back."

"Then I will pray for a miracle." I whispered, running my hand along her jaw softly, "I didn't realize until you walked in that door just how much I missed you."

She gulped and nodded.

"I missed you too."

Twenty minutes later I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling with Jamie curled up against my chest snoring quietly. I was wishing I had brought my laptop in from the car so that I could look up what had happened to Savannah because it was deeply disturbing me that I had no idea what was going on with her.

"_I got divorced. My baby died. I kind of fucked up my modeling career and so I was pretty much required to stop modeling for two years or go to jail."_

Her words repeated over and over in my head. The divorce I could comprehend. Things don't work out the way you thought they would and divorce happens. I had been there but the death of her baby? Messing up her modeling career? Jail? These things I couldn't comprehend. How could all that happen to one person in two years? Why had her baby died? How did she mess up modeling? Why would she have gone to jail?

My thoughts continued until I was so tired that my brain was forced to shut down so I could fall asleep. My dreams were tortured so even the four hours of sleep I did end up getting didn't even begin to satisfy my sleep requirement.

"Wake up daddy." Jamie was jumping on the bed next to me when I cracked open my eyes the next morning, "Where are we? This place is awesome."

"Come here." I reached up clumsily and grabbed Jamie's arm, pulling him down onto the bed as he giggled and I forced him to lay down next to me, "Go back to sleep. It's too early."

"No…" Jamie giggled restlessly while he tried to wiggle out of my grasp, "I'm not tired no more."

"Anymore." I corrected his grammar and cursed myself for having learned so much from Haley and in my three years of college.

"Whatever. Let me up." He valiantly pushed my arm off of him and stood back up to jump on the bed while he laughed happily, "So where are we?"

"Tree Hill." I replied, sighing and turning over onto my back so I could watch him jump up and down.

"Whose house are we at?"

"Savannah's."

"Really?" Jamie's eyes lit up at the mere mention of her name, "I like Savannah."

"You don't even know Savannah." I smiled at him and he shrugged.

"But I like her cause you like her."

The kid was way too smart for his own good.

"You know you're too smart to be almost four. Are you sure you're not older?"

"Daddy!" Jamie fell on the bed next to me giggling, "You were there when I was born. How long ago was that?"

"Yeah, yeah." I grabbed him and held him like a football as I climbed out of bed then set him on the floor and smiled at him, "Grab your clean clothes from your bag over there and your toothbrush and toothpaste then go in the bathroom and start getting ready. We have a lot to do today."

"Like what?"

"Stuff. Go." I smacked him playfully on the butt and he laughed as he ran to his bag to grab his stuff and head for the bathroom.

When he was safely behind the closed bathroom door I groaned and stretched, grabbing my cell phone and checking the time. 6:45 am. Way too early to be awake when I had gone to sleep after 2 am.

I pulled my suitcase up onto the bed and rifled through it to grab clean clothes and my own toothbrush and toothpaste. I knocked on the bathroom door and Jamie let me in as he was already dressed and brushing his teeth.

I joined him at the sink to brush my teeth and when he was done I told him to go jump on the bed until I came out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me so I could get dressed too.

When I was done getting ready I grabbed a brush from Jamie's bag and made him sit on the bed to run it through his hair quickly before I tossed it back into the bag and helped him put his shoes on.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, I think a good place to start is breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Starving!" He rubbed his stomach and I laughed.

"Ok, well let's go get a few things from the store then we can come back and cook breakfast here so that Savannah can have some when she wakes up too."

"Okay." Jamie agreed with the plan, "Eggs?"

"Yeah."

"Bacon?"

"Sure."

"Grilled cheese?"

"What?" I frowned at him and he laughed loudly.

"I love grilled cheese."

"I know you do." I shook my head and smacked his foot when I was done tying his shoe, "Alright, let's go. You have to be quiet though okay? We don't want to wake up Savannah if she's not ready."

"Okay." Jamie whispered, "I can be very quiet."

We headed downstairs and out to the car after I grabbed my keys and wallet. I strapped him into his car seat in the backseat and then headed off to the nearest grocery store.

"Alright, eggs and bacon?" I asked him as we headed into the store. He was sitting in the cart as he nodded.

"What does Savannah like?" He asked.

"Um…" I honestly couldn't say what she liked now, unless she liked the same things she liked in high school, "She used to love French toast."

"Yummy." Jamie licked his lips.

"You want to make French toast?" I asked him and he nodded, "Okay, we'll make French toast."

"Nathan?"

I turned to the sound of my name and saw Karen standing a few feet away with Lily by her side, a grin spread across both of their faces.

"What are you doing here?" She rushed to my side and hugged me then pulled Jamie out of the cart and hugged him too.

"We moved here." Jamie announced happily, "We live with Savannah."

"You what?" Karen's eyes were wide as I picked up Lily to hug her, "Savannah?"

"We got here last night and since Lucas and Brooke are renovating it was either stay with my dad or see if my key to Savannah's house still worked so… we ended up at Savannah's house and then she showed up too."

"Savannah's back too?" Karen's eyes started to water up and it occurred to me how close she and Savannah used to be.

"Yeah, she's back." I nodded and she grinned before she set Jamie back in the cart and took Lily's hand again.

"This is exciting." She said.

"It is." I smiled back at her.

"Well, we're on our way out." Karen motioned with her head to the door of the grocery store, "You have to promise me to bring Savannah by the café later okay?"

"I'll try." I sighed and glanced at Jamie, not wanting to ask Karen what she knew about Savannah in front of him or Lily, "I'm sure she's gonna want to see you so I'll do my best to get her there."

"Thank you." Karen hugged me again, "It's good to have you home Nathan. You too Jamie."

"Bye Aunt Karen! Bye Lily!" Jamie called after them.

"Bye Jamie!" They called back.

"Alright buddy, now we really have shopping to do."

We gathered the ingredients for French toast plus bacon, sausage and what used to be Savannah's favorite toppings for her French toast, whipped cream and strawberries. We paid for the groceries and then headed back to the house, quietly taking the groceries inside and putting them away in the completely empty refrigerator and cabinets.

"Alright. You ready?" I asked Jamie as I assembled everything we needed to cook.

"Yep." Jamie held up his clean hands and grinned at me from his perch sitting on the kitchen island.

"Alright, first we have to crack the eggs into a bowl like this." I showed Jamie how to crack eggs and then handed him one to crack into a separate bowl, just in case of an accident. As I assumed he would, he cracked the egg a little too hard and the shell shattered into the bowl and around it, oozing the insides all over his hands as he gasped in surprise.

I laughed and grabbed a paper towel to wipe up his hands and the mess before continuing. After cracking open the entire dozen we had bought, we had six successfully cracked ones in a bowl where I could mix them up for French toast.

"Momma showed me how to dip the bread in the egg." Jamie grabbed a piece of bread and dipped it into the bowl enthusiastically, his entire hand becoming coated with eggs and cinnamon as I laughed, "Now it's ready to cook right?"

"Right." I took the bread and put it on the heated griddle, repeating the process four pieces at a time.

I was cutting up strawberries when Jamie's head snapped up and I looked up just in time for him to yell.

"Savannah!" He jumped off the counter before I could catch him and ran as fast as he could, hugging Savannah who was standing in the doorway smiling through her yawn.

"Hey kiddo." Savannah rubbed her eyes sleepily and peered down at Jamie, "Boy you've gotten big."

"I'm almost 4." He held up four fingers at her and then grabbed her hand, "Look, daddy and me made French toast."

"Daddy and I." I corrected him and then rolled my eyes at myself.

Savannah laughed, picking up Jamie and hugging him before setting him up on the counter again.

"When did you become the grammar police?" She asked me, reaching around me and grabbing a strawberry before she moved to stand on my other side, leaning against the counter and staring at me while she nibbled at it.

I watched her lips suck on the strawberry for a second then shook myself from the dirty thoughts I was thinking and sighed.

"Too much time around Haley and too much time in college." I replied.

"Well, Jamie he is right. It's daddy and I but since you're three, ignore him and be cute instead." Savannah stuck her tongue out at me, "I can't believe you guys made French toast. I love French toast."

"With strawberries and whipped cream." Jamie grinned, "Daddy said you like French toast with strawberries and whipped cream so we bought both."

"You remembered?" Savannah whispered, staring over at me.

"Of course I remembered." I smiled at her and was rewarded with a smile back.

"Well thank you for making this for me." She placed her hand on my bicep and squeezed appreciatively and then kissed Jamie's forehead, "Where's the coffee?"

"We forgot coffee." I groaned, "I'm not really used to drinking coffee anymore so I totally forgot. You want me to go get you some?"

"No." Savannah yawned again and shook her head, "You made me breakfast. I can get my own coffee. In fact, I think that we should eat and then go to Karen's because I haven't had a cup of coffee like she makes it in so long I would kill a kitten for one right now."

Jamie gasped and Savannah's eyes went wide.

"Sorry Jamie." She apologized for the kitten killing remark, "Do you like cats?"

He nodded.

"I do too." She insisted, "I wouldn't actually kill a kitten."

"Then why say it?" Jamie asked.

"It's a figure of speech." Savannah sighed, "I'll explain it to you later kid. Let's eat so we can get coffee."

I took in my surroundings happily as the three of us sat at the kitchen island eating breakfast. The dining table had long been removed and replaced with the pool table again, so we chose to eat in the kitchen so that Jamie didn't make a mess instead of sitting in the living room like we had in high school.

The Savannah of this morning seemed much happier than the Savannah of last night. She was smiling and making jokes with Jamie. She ate the food we had made for her and thanked us repeatedly for it. This morning she seemed like the Savannah I had known in high school. Last night she had seemed broken.

"Alright, I am going to go get dressed really quick. I will be right back."

Savannah ran upstairs leaving Jamie and I to finish breakfast alone.

"I like her." Jamie declared when she was out of earshot, "Can we live here forever?"

"No buddy. We have to get our own house." I told him, "But Savannah will still be here and I'm sure she'll let us visit."

"But can we still have French toast for breakfast with her?"

"Sometimes." I nodded, "It's not like I'm making you French toast every morning kid."

Jamie giggled.

"Yeah, sometimes you can make pancakes instead."

We cleaned up the mess we had made while Savannah got ready and we were just finishing up when she returned, fully dressed, her hair pulled up into a ponytail and even though she had no make up on, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. If you took away the sadness that lived in her eyes now, she still looked like she was 18, with her whole life ahead of her.

"It's a good thing you said you wanted to go to Karen's because we saw her at the store this morning and she insisted that we bring you by." I told Savannah as we headed outside.

"Yeah?" Savannah smiled, "Well, it's good to know that she doesn't hate me. Lord knows that most of the people I know in this town should hate me at this point. I've done nothing to keep in contact."

"No one hates you." I assured her, "Hey, why don't we take my car since it has Jamie's car seat in it?"

"Uh, because you're car is packed to the brim with boxes and stuff. Good lord!" She peered through the windows, "How do you even fit a car seat in there?"

"It's squishy." Jamie admitted, "Besides daddy, her car is pretty!"

I wasn't sure why but I expected to see the Aston Martin parked behind my Cadillac Escalade and instead I found a Lexus. I made a note to ask her later what happened to the Aston as I could have sworn she would still be driving that car like it was her life.

"Up until yesterday I drove a much nicer car than this." Savannah sighed, staring at her Lexus, "I will tell you that story one day kid but right now, we need to figure out how to get your car seat from that packed back seat, to my clean one."

"I got it."

Savannah and Jamie stood back, watching me struggle with the car seat until eventually I got it free and transferred it to Savannah's car. Once it was properly secured I lifted Jamie into it and then strapped him in before moving to take my place in the passenger's seat.

"So, while we're driving, enlighten us with the story of how you're driving this car and not the nicer one you speak of?" I was hoping this would explain what happened to the Aston Martin.

"Well…" Savannah took a deep breath, "When I was leaving New York yesterday I handed the keys to the Aston Martin to my assistant, told her she was fired, and then told her to enjoy the car."

"What?" I exclaimed, "You gave away your Aston?"

"What's an Aston?" Jamie asked.

"I have pictures Jamie. I'll show you when we get to the café." Savannah told him and then glanced over at me, "I was trying to get rid of everything that reminded me of my life in New York and there were just too many memories associated with that car so, I left it there."

"But…" I was speechless.

"I'll probably buy a new one eventually." Savannah said, "But for now, I like my Lexus."

"You should be declared clinically insane." I told her, "Seriously crazy for getting rid of that car."

She shrugged and then smiled at me quickly.

"Maybe I was diagnosed clinically insane and I escaped from the institution to come here."

I frowned at her and shook my head.

"Remind me to Google you when we get back to the house."

"What's Google?" Jamie asked.

"It's an internet search engine." I told him as Savannah and I laughed, "If you put a name in it, it will find a bunch of websites where that person's name is mentioned and then we can find out if Savannah's really crazy."

"She's not crazy!" Jamie exclaimed, finally catching on to our conversation, "Wait, what will it say if you put my name?"

"Um… probably it will have your birth announcement from when you were born and maybe a few pictures of you with either me or your mom." I told him, "Cause your mom is famous and I used to play in the NBA, people like to take pictures of us with you sometimes."

"Really?" Jamie frowned, "Why?"

"It's a long story Jamie." Savannah answered him for me, "You'll understand when you get a little older."

"Okay." Jamie shrugged and let it go.

We pulled up to Karen's café a few minutes later and hopped out of the car. I grabbed Jamie and then we headed inside where we found not only Karen and Lily, but also Peyton, Xander, Sienna and Elijah, or Eli as I knew they called him.

"Aunt Savannah!" Sienna tore across the café and jumped into Savannah's arms happily, hugging her like she was never going to let go, "You were supposed to come see me last night!"

"I did come see you last night but you fell asleep before I got there." Savannah responded with a smile and a kiss to Sienna's forehead, "I missed you munchkin."

"I missed you too." Sienna laid her head on Savannah's shoulder and continued to cling to her while we all made our rounds saying hello.

"When did you get back in town?" Peyton asked me as she gave me a hug, "Why are you with Savannah?"

"I got back last night and crashed at her house because we didn't have anywhere else to stay and then she showed up. Neither of us knew the other would be there but somehow it worked out."

Peyton glanced from me to Savannah who was engulfed in hugs from Karen and then back to me, eyeing me cautiously.

"And you guys are just cool now?"

"I don't know." I sighed, "You and I might need to talk later. She told me some things last night that I need clarification on."

Peyton nodded and then we stopped talking as we all moved to sit down at a nearby table. It didn't need to be said that we didn't want Savannah to know we were talking about her.

"So you both need to explain a bit. You suddenly move back to town with no warning? What's going on?" Karen asked me and Savannah at the same time.

Jamie, Lily, and Sienna ran over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room to grab books and play which left plenty of time for the "adults" to talk.

"Feel free to go first." Savannah said as she nudged me.

"I got injured playing basketball." I said simply.

"That I know." Karen said, "But you didn't mention that you were moving back."

"Well, I had a couple of choices." I sighed, "The team offered to keep me on, pay me to sit on the bench and maybe help coach a bit or they would pay me the remainder of my contract salary and I was free to go. Since it was a lot of money to get paid out and it would leave me free to spend more time with Jamie, I took the second option. There was no point in me staying with the team and not doing anything, having to pay a nanny to watch Jamie when I couldn't be around, when I could just give it all up and have unlimited time with him. He gets enough of being put second with Haley. I was tired of doing the same thing to him."

"Smart decision." Peyton smiled at me and looked over to smile at Sienna reading to Jamie and Lily, "He's freaking adorable by the way."

"Thank you. So are your two. Eli, what's up man? Can you give me a high five?"

Eli was sitting on Xander's lap contentedly ignoring the rest of us as he buried his head into Xander's chest.

"He just woke up." Peyton rolled her eyes and ruffled Eli's hair.

"And you? What's your story?" Karen turned the attention back to Savannah who was biting her lip again, clearly nervous.

"Well… I got a divorce and started drinking a lot which subsequently led to me messing up a lot of modeling things and so my agent told me that I could either take a one to two year leave of absence or I could be fired and possibly thrown into jail for one particularly large mistake I made."

Well, that was a little more than she had told me the night before but also a little less. She had left out the part about her baby dying but included the part that alcohol was the root of the modeling issues.

"Jail?" Karen looked sad, "Sweetheart, what happened?"

"It's a really long story and I don't really like talking about it." Savannah once again took on the look of wanting to cry but no tears formed, "Although, I guess it's better if I tell you than if you look it up online."

She eyed me and I cursed myself for mentioning Google in the car.

"So last November we did the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and it was going to be aired live for the east coast and I, like I usually did around that time of my life, showed up drunk. Not just sort of drunk but like I had probably drunk an entire bottle of vodka by myself drunk." She sighed, "They put me in my first outfit and I did fine. I was sort of used to performing drunk but I don't know, something snapped and I honestly don't remember what happened but my last walk down the runway, I decided I didn't want to wear the clothes anymore so I started to take them off and by the time I got to the end of the runway I was completely naked, from head to toe, on live TV."

"Oh my…" Karen gasped.

"They cut to commercial really quick so TV viewers didn't get to see much but as at all fashion shows, there was a lot of press at the end of the runway so there are a TON of pictures of the moment all over the internet."

"That's not good." I wanted to put my arm around her to comfort her cause I could tell it was hard for her to talk about this, but I wasn't sure my comfort would be welcome.

"No, it's not." She shook her head, "So Victoria's Secret took four months to decide if they were going to press charges as did the FCC. There was all sorts of damage control to be done and of course, meanwhile, no one really wanted to work with the drunk stripping model so in April my agent gave me the ultimatum. I spent the rest of April completely drunk. Spent all of May in rehab and here I am. It's June, I'm sober and back home, in Tree Hill, because there is no place like home and honestly, I needed to heal."

We all sat silently for a second. Karen was studying Savannah carefully. Peyton and Xander, who I assumed knew the story, sat quietly also watching Savannah. I didn't really know what to say or how to react. I would have never imagined something like that happening to Savannah. I couldn't even imagine her that drunk or that stupid to make a mistake like that. She had to have been in serious pain to try and drink away her problems to that extent.

Thankfully I didn't need to react. She reached over under the table and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently which was actually a very nice surprise for me. She was literally reaching out to me and it felt good to be that person for her again, even if only for a moment.

"It's kind of funny how your modeling career and my NBA career all ended in a single moment." I said simply, squeezing her hand back, "Neither situation is funny on it's own but if you look at it and think how that changed our entire lives, it's funny and ironic. Neither of us would be here right now if it wasn't for those single moments."

Savannah stared into my eyes and nodded slowly before sighing and turning away.

"You're right." She said, frowning, "It only takes one moment."


	3. Chapter 3: Back Together Again

**_Author's Note: hey guys! here is chapter three! thank you so much to brilliant brunette, kapeesh, bazzle, and HistoryNerd for reviewing. love you guys! bazzle, here is a bit of brucas background just for you. :) Enjoy! Oh and of course, please keep reviewing. _**

**Chapter Three**

**Back Together Again**

**Lucas POV**

"Hey loser! Try making a shot every once in awhile!"

I snapped around to see who had just yelled at me and immediately, my eyes went wide. Not only were my brother and nephew walking towards me on the river court, joining them was Savannah Carter.

"Uncle Lucas!" Jamie came running towards me and I caught him as he jumped at me.

"Jamie." I hugged him tight, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Jamie declared, "Have you met Savannah? She's awesome!"

I laughed at his declaration and smiled over at Savannah who was standing an arms length away, her hands shoved in her pockets as if she was almost embarrassed to be standing there.

"Yes buddy, I have met Savannah." I reached out and pulled her to me, hugging her and kissing the top of her head, "It's been too long."

"I know." She sighed, squeezing me around the waist where she was hugging me.

When she let go I hugged Nathan and set Jamie down, still amazed that the three of them were standing here together. I knew Nathan and Jamie were back in town because Brooke had told me when I got home the night before, but Savannah… that was a surprise.

"Hey man, I'm so sorry that you couldn't stay with us last night. Brooke told me you came by and…"

"Don't worry about it." Nathan laughed it off before I could even finish my sentence.

"Can I play basketball?" Jamie asked, reaching up for the basketball in my hands.

"Yeah, knock yourself out." I handed him the basketball and he took off towards the hoop, leaving Savannah, Nathan and I alone.

"Seriously, I used my old key to get into Savannah's place and then she showed up last night and she's agreed to let us stay until we find our own place so, I think it worked out. Right Savannah?"

"Right." Savannah smiled over at Nathan and then over at me, "So you finally made it official with Brooke huh?"

I laughed at her and my mind went back to the last conversation she and I had had, almost exactly two years ago at Jamie's 2nd birthday party.

"_So, how are you enjoying the married life?" I moved to stand next to Savannah where she stood leaning against the side of the house as she overlooked the activities of the party happening around her._

"_What?" Savannah jumped and looked over at me, laughing, "Sorry, you scared me."_

"_Sorry." I smiled at her, "I asked how you were enjoying the married life."_

"_It's great." She grinned widely, "He's back in school and I have a lot going on with Victoria's Secret for the next few months so we don't have that much time together but things are going good. We're happy."_

"_I'm really glad." I told her honestly, "You deserve to be happy and I know that you resisted the idea of getting back together with Bryan at first but, despite the fact that I know how much you loved Nathan and how much he loved you, I think you made the right choice."_

_Her eyes found Brooke in the crowd and she looked over at me with a question in her eyes that I knew was coming before she even said it._

"_So when are you going to propose to Brooke?"_

_I groaned._

"_Why is everyone pressuring us to get married? I'm barely going into my senior year of college. She's got so much going on with Clothes Over Bros and launching B. Davis magazine. It's expanding faster than either of us can really keep up with and that means we don't get to spend that much time together plus…"_

"_You are just full of excuses." Savannah shook her head as if she were disappointed in me, "I may be a horrible friend because I haven't kept in touch but what I do know Lucas Scott is that you love that girl and no matter what, you should make sure she knows it."_

"_She knows it." I defended my relationship, "She knows I love her."_

"_Be sure Lucas. Make a commitment. Look at me for example. Sure, Bryan loved me but until he took the steps to make a true commitment to me, I couldn't love him back fully."_

"_It's different with Brooke and I."_

_Savannah sighed._

"_What's going on with basketball? You quit I heard?"_

"_I didn't quit." I told her quickly and then found myself frowning, "Ok, I quit but there was a reason for it."_

"_And that reason is?" Savannah raised an eyebrow at her and I couldn't help but laugh at how she was always trying to push me to be better at everything._

"_I have a heart condition." I told her and her face fell, "It's semi-serious. It turns out it's the same heart condition Dan has. It's called HCM."_

"_Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, I know what it is. Lucas, that's dangerous!"_

_I nodded. I had only been diagnosed recently. I should have agreed to take the test when we were in high school. Nathan had been tested and didn't have it, but I had never tested. I had been fine then but during the last basketball season I had been experiencing an abnormal amount of heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and fatigue. It had been Brooke who insisted I get checked out. She was right and I had been diagnosed and started on medication immediately._

"_I'm being treated and everything looks good so far so don't freak out on me." I put my hand on Savannah's shoulder to calm her down, "I'll be fine."_

_She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, turning back to the party and remaining silent for a few moments. I was wondering what she was thinking when she suddenly spoke again._

"_All the more reason for you to commit to her. Life is short and you never know when it could be taken away, especially for you." She glared at me intently, "Marry her Lucas."_

"Well that last conversation I had with you pretty much did it." I winked at her and she smiled, "We got married the following February."

"How fitting. I got divorced that February." Savannah rolled her eyes, "Let's play basketball huh? Jamie, pass to me!"

Savannah went running to the side of the court where Jamie was playing basketball, effectively removing herself from the conversation before I could ask her anything about what had happened between her and Bryan.

Nathan and I watched her shoot the ball effortlessly, just like she had in high school, making the shot every time. She passed to Jamie and then lifted him so he could shoot the ball too. She cheered for him every time he made a shot.

"How much do you know about what happened with her?" Nathan asked me as we watched.

"Nothing." I said, sort of ashamed at myself for not knowing anything, "We lost touch after Jamie's 2nd birthday party."

"Yeah, me too." Nathan sighed, "I'm worried Lucas. She won't talk to me."

"Nate…" I turned to him and sighed back at him, "Do you really expect her to? You two lost touch long before that party."

"Come on you two!" Savannah yelled at us as another one of her shots sailed through the net, "Not that Jamie isn't competition but I'm trying to relive my glory days here!"

"Come on." I urged Nathan towards the hoop and he followed me over there as Savannah passed the ball to me and I shot from behind the three point line.

"Nice one Uncle Lucas!" Jamie called out as the ball fell through the hoop easily.

"Thank you." I smiled at him as he ran after the rebound then passed it to Nathan so Nathan could shoot too.

Nathan's shot missed and Savannah groaned.

"We're never gonna relive the glory days if you shoot like that." She stuck her tongue out at him and smiled, "Try it again and this time, don't miss."

Nathan shot the ball again but it missed again. I had never seen him miss two shots in a row like that unless something was bothering him. My guess was that the part of Savannah's past she was keeping from him was definitely bothering him.

We continued to shoot around, just the four of us, until an hour had passed and I realized I was late to get home to Brooke and the contractor who was remodeling my childhood home.

"Hey, I gotta run guys. I was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago to meet with Brooke and the contractor. Damn remodel is not only costing me a fortune but taking every second of my time too."

"Ooh, Uncle Lucas, you said a bad word." Jamie scolded me.

"You're right. Sorry." I smiled at him and then looked back at Savannah and Nathan, "What do you guys have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Shopping." Savannah said, surprisingly she didn't seem too enthusiastic, "The movers dropped off the stuff I brought with me from New York and it's not nearly enough to replace all the horrible old dusty nasty furniture in my house not to mention none of the beds have sheets or anything so, there's a lot to do."

"Well, why don't you guys meet us for dinner? I'd invite you over but the house isn't even near ready for that but Brooke is going to flip knowing you're here Savannah so, she's going to want to see you."

"Okay." Savannah nodded, "Tell her I will see her tonight."

"Okay." I hugged Savannah, then Nathan and then Jamie, "I'll see you guys tonight. Just meet us at my house around 7 okay?"

Nathan nodded his agreement and then I had to leave them, speeding back to my house where Brooke was standing outside with the contractor, tapping her foot impatiently as she watched me park the car and run up to meet them.

"Lucas Scott you are thirty minutes late!" She scolded me, glaring at me and crossing her arms angrily.

"I am so sorry." I leaned over and kissed her lightly trying to lighten her mood, "I got sidetracked playing basketball at the river court with Nathan and… Savannah."

Brooke's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open, a smile playing on her lips.

"Savannah's here?"

I nodded and she squealed, jumping into my arms excitedly.

"Oh my God, when did she get here? Is she okay? Why is she with Nathan? Did you see Jamie?"

"Mrs. Scott, I'm sorry to interrupt…" The contractor earned a dirty look from Brooke who took a deep breath and then nodded.

"You're right. Sorry." She handed me a paper she had in her hand, "This is what still needs to be done. He wants to walk you through to show you each thing and then you need to sign off on it."

Why she couldn't have done this on her own, I still wasn't sure. She was the owner and chief fashion designer of her own multi-million dollar clothing line not to mention her own magazine. I was a writer. I knew nothing about construction. She had overseen the entire project of her new boutique being built here in Tree Hill which is how she knew these contractors in the first place and yet somehow, I had been wrangled into being in charge of the remodel.

It took 45 minutes for the contractor, with Brooke's help, to show me all the changes being done to the house. We were keeping one bedroom downstairs but we were knocking out the walls of the other one to expand our living room and kitchen which were both being completely redone. We were adding an entire upstairs which would have two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an office big enough to hold both Brooke's work space and my work space. While I understood the necessity of expanding the house now instead of waiting, the whole thing gave me a headache.

"Thank you so much." Brooke shook the contractors hand as he got back to work and then turned to me, "You have so much to tell me. Let's go to the boutique so we can think without the sounds of construction okay?"

"Okay." I grabbed my laptop from our bedroom and then joined her in my car, slipping into the driver's seat so we could head to her store.

The boutique was the only store on the small corner lot downtown, near my mom's café. When we had bought the property she had the entire thing leveled and started from scratch and while the building kept the small town old world charm incorporated on the outside, the inside was pure modern with bright colors, lots of lighting and the silver mannequins decked out head to toe in Clothes Over Bros original merchandise.

"Hi Brooke." The store manager smiled at us as we entered and headed for the back offices, "Hi Lucas."

"Hi Millie." Brooke and I both waved back and then disappeared to Brooke's office where we both sat down contentedly, "Alright, spill Mr. Scott."

"I love it when you call me Mr. Scott, like I'm your boss or something. Say it again." I teased her.

"Lucas!" Brooke groaned, "I'm dying here."

"Sorry." I smiled at her, "Apparently, after Nathan left our house last night he decided to use his old key to her house to let himself in assuming that no one ever used it anymore but then she showed up and so they both are staying there for now, and Jamie too obviously. I guess she just decided to move back here. She didn't tell me much actually. I mean, I know she and Bryan got divorced the same month you and I got married. She mentioned that but I don't know why."

"Peyton told me that he cheated on her so she asked for a divorce." Brooke said, "I knew they got a divorce. Didn't I tell you?"

"No you didn't." I shrugged, "Anyway, she didn't tell me why she came back but something is up with Nathan. He played like shit and he never plays bad unless something is bothering him. He asked me what I knew about what happened to Savannah but I had nothing to tell him so he just let it go."

"That's weird." Brooke frowned, "Maybe it's just weird for him to be around her after such a long time of them being apart. I mean, if Haley hadn't gotten pregnant, they'd probably be married now don't you think?"

"Probably." I sighed, "It was more than that though. He seemed really worried."

"Well, we will have to keep an eye on them then and we can do that now because they're both back!" She grinned widely, "I have really missed all of us being together. Now we just need Camille and Tim. I should call Bevin to tell her."

"Savannah, Nathan, and Jamie are going to meet us at our house at 7 so we can go to dinner together."

"Really?" Brooke grinned wider, "We should make it a whole group thing. All of us back together again, minus Cammie and Tim, but still…"

"Hey, you should call Camille and see if she knows what's going on with Savannah. I get the feeling Savannah is not going to volunteer the information."

"I would except Camille is shooting a movie right now so she doesn't really return my calls." Brooke had her phone in her hand and she pressed the talk button as she looked up at me then pressed the phone to her ear, "I'm calling Peyton."

While Brooke went on her mission I pulled out my laptop and set it up on the spare desk in Brooke's office which I had been working from for awhile. As much as I loved that we were all working our way to being back together, home in Tree Hill again, I had a deadline to meet with my new novel and I was way behind where I needed to be.

"Hey Peyton." Brooke said happily into the phone, "Why didn't you tell me Savannah was coming back?"

There was no way I was going to be able to work while Brooke was on the phone so I turned to her and motioned for her to put Peyton on speaker.

"Oh, hold on Peyton. Lucas wants to hear." Brooke put her phone on speaker and set it on the table, "Okay, go on."

"We weren't sure Savannah was gonna actually do it. She's been in a bad place for awhile so when she said she was moving back we figured she was just saying that so we wouldn't keep checking up on her."

"What do mean a bad place?" Brooke asked, honestly concerned, "I mean, I know we all lost track of each other but she's a model and I've been paying attention to her career."

"So you saw the naked Victoria's Secret fashion show?"

"Oh." Brooke's mouth formed and O and she crinkled her nose, "I did hear about it but I didn't think… I mean, was it that bad?"

"It was a publicists nightmare." Peyton sighed, "Look, there's more to it than that but I don't know. I kind of feel like if she wants you to know she should tell you. It's not fair that I tell you when I only know because I'm married to Xander."

"Nathan's worried about her." I called out, "You should at least tell him because from what I saw today, she's not going to."

"I don't think I should." Peyton replied, "Honestly, if she doesn't want to tell him, she shouldn't have to. It's not like they're best friends anymore. I mean, honestly, Savannah kind of stopped contacting any of us as friends. She talked to Xander because he's her brother and he sort of forced her to talk to him, but mostly she just doesn't talk about it. We didn't even go to her wedding you know?"

"She was upset." I defended Savannah because I was there when she was rekindling her romance with Bryan, "She was really hurt about Haley getting pregnant and I encouraged her to start seeing Bryan again. I feel sort of responsible but without knowing what happened, I can't fix it."

"You can't fix what happened to her." Peyton said simply, "And don't blame yourself okay? Just, give Savannah some time. She may end up telling you. You never know. She's sober now so that's a start."

"What was she into? I read it was heroine." Brooke said, "When I heard she was in rehab I tried calling but obviously no answer."

"Just alcohol." Peyton said, "But it was really, really bad. Listen you guys, you should just ask her these questions if you really want to know. She might get upset but she also might open up. I honestly don't know. Her reactions to things aren't the same these days. Oh and whatever you do, try to put off for a bit telling her you're adopting. I told her I was pregnant and I didn't get a very warm response. Babies upset her."

"She seemed fine with Jamie." I frowned.

"No Lucas, her baby died." Brooke sighed, "I forgot about that. I read about it and I tried to call her but she never called me back."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned Brooke with a frown.

"At the time you were still at college and I was still getting the magazine off the ground. It was right before our wedding too, like the month before right?"

"Right." Peyton sighed, "Hey guys, I have to run. Can I call you later?"

"Yeah, hey, we're going to dinner tonight with Savannah and Nathan. We thought it would be fun to make it a group thing. Are you in?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, of course. What time?"

"Meet us at our house at 7 but we're definitely going out." I told her.

Peyton laughed.

"Alright, your house at 7. See you then."

Brooke hung up the phone and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"It sounds like there is some serious stuff going on with Savannah. I feel bad we haven't been there for her." Brooke said, "Like, rehab and her baby died and she got divorced… I wonder what else happened?"

"Let's not push it just yet okay? She'll open up to us when she wants to."

Brooke nodded and picked up her cell phone again with a grin spreading across her face.

"Now I get to invite everyone to dinner. I'll go out to the store so you can sit in here and work." She stood and kissed me as she pressed send on the phone, "Love you."

"Love you." I watched her leave the room and then sighed, turning back to my screen which was littered with work that I wanted to scrap.

My writing lately was definitely not up to par but I didn't know what to write about. I needed inspiration. The first book was all love, high school, and drama. It was my high school experience essentially and it was almost easy to write because it was all fresh in my mind at the time, but where does one go from there? What do you write about when the drama has ebbed? Without the plot thickening there was no story.

"Ok, everyone's in. Your mom, Larry and Lily. Bevin, Skills, Peyton, Xander, their kids, Nate, Savannah, Jamie, you, me and my favorite waterfront restaurant." Brooke turned my chair so I was facing her as she smiled down at me and moved to sit in my lap, placing sensual kisses against my lips, "Still no inspiration for the new novel?"

I sighed and shook my head, my hands resting on her hips.

"Have you talked to your editor about an extension? I mean, what's gonna happen if you can't get a novel written before your deadline?"

"They might drop me." I frowned not wanting to think about that happening. "I'll get one written. Don't worry."

"Okay." Brooke nodded, "I'm nervous and excited for tonight all at the same time."

"Me too but I think it'll be fun. We haven't all been together in a long time."

"I wish Cammie and Tim were here but this is still a good group. Haley and Jake too. It would be weird again with the Haley, Savannah, Nathan triangle but it would still be nice. I'd feel complete."

I wasn't sure there really was a Haley, Savannah, Nathan triangle anymore but I didn't say anything. Truth was, Savannah had been upset almost five years ago when she found out about Haley being pregnant, but I doubt she cared now. From the sounds of it she had way too many other things to be worried about and besides, there was no Savannah & Nathan anymore. They were barely even friends.

"It would be nice." I replied to Brooke's earlier reminisce about getting the group back together, "We'll just have to settle for the group we have I guess."

"Savannah!" Bevin ran across our yard a few hours later, almost tackling Savannah as she got out of her car at our house, "Oh my God! I can't believe you're here!"

Savannah was laughing and hugging Bevin back as the rest of us all looked on.

"What's up Nate?" Skills said hi to Nathan as he and Jamie joined us on the porch, "What's up Jamie?"

"Hey Uncle Skills." Jamie gave Skills a high five and a grin, "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Savannah bought me a Wii today. You should come over and play. It's the greatest."

We all laughed as Jamie started to tell Skills about his video games.

"You get all your shopping done?" I asked Nathan.

He rolled his eyes and groaned but nodded.

"After 6 long hours obsessing over which sheets matched which room of the house, we finally picked them out only to decide that Jamie needed his own room and his own bed so then we had to pick out a new bed, with new mattresses and new sheets!"

"My bed is the coolest. It's like a castle. You have to come see it Uncle Luke." Jamie said.

"I want a castle bed." Sienna turned and said to Peyton, having overheard the conversation.

"Sweetheart, you have a real castle in Spain okay? You don't need a castle bed." Peyton sighed and glared at Nathan, "Thanks."

"It was not my idea." Nathan held up his hands innocently, "Talk to Savannah."

"About what?" Savannah and Bevin joined us on the porch finally, "What'd I do?"

"I want a castle bed Aunt Savannah? Can I have one like Jamie?" Sienna asked.

"Oh geez." Savannah laughed, "I'll buy you one if your mom and dad say it's okay."

"Spoiled!" Xander exclaimed, pointing at Savannah, "Stop it!"

Savannah just started laughing harder, reaching down and pulling Eli up into her arms as he was tugging on her shirt.

"You want one too baby boy? I'll get you a castle bed."

Eli shook his head no.

"No castle bed?" Savannah raised an eyebrow, "Racecar bed?"

Eli laughed and nodded enthusiastically.

"Alright, racecar bed it is. We'll go shopping tomorrow."

"I totally forgot this is what it's like to live around her." Peyton groaned, "She spoils the children rotten."

"I'm not rotten." Sienna objected, "Come on Jamie. Let's leave the adults here and go play."

"Don't go far!" Brooke called out to them although she knew they wouldn't leave the gated yard.

"We won't Aunt Brooke!" Jamie yelled back as he took off after Sienna into the yard.

"So now we're only missing my mom right?" I asked, looking around at our group.

"With my dad and our little sister." Peyton winked at me, "My dad is always late. You should have learned that by now."

"And here I thought my mom's compulsive punctuality was going to balance him out." I replied and we all laughed.

"So what have ya'll been up to?" Bevin asked suddenly, looking at Savannah and Nathan as she moved to stand with Skills, "It's been forever! Like two years right?"

"Almost." Savannah smiled slightly, "I've been working mostly."

"I saw the Victoria's Secret show. That must have been really embarrassing." Bevin said.

"Uh, yeah. It probably would have been embarrassing had I remembered it the next day but I was so drunk that it sort of faded. The only thing that sucks is it's still all over the internet."

"Yeah." Bevin nodded as if she understood the situation completely which was a quality about her we all adored, "So now that you're home are you staying? You should totally come model for Clothes Over Bros, right Brooke?"

"Totally." Brooke grinned, "You should! Bevin's in charge of marketing and we're not doing runway right now but we have a huge spread we're shooting soon for magazines. You would be perfect for it."

"I don't know." Savannah frowned, "I'm not sure I'm allowed. My agent sort of banished me to model retirement for at least a year."

"Why?" Bevin frowned back, "Because of that one show?"

"And a number of other train wrecks I caused." Savannah shrugged like it was nothing but I could see in her eyes she was having a hard time answering these questions.

Thankfully my mom, Larry, and Lily arrived then.

"Oh hey, my mom's here. Let's go. I'm starved."

The conversation ceased and we all stood, heading down the steps towards the cars.

"Don't even get out of the car. We're starving." Peyton intercepted her dad as he was getting out of his car. She hugged him quickly and then called out to her daughter, "Sienna! Come on, you're riding with Grandpa!"

"Yes!" Sienna yelled as she sprinted for the car, "Hi Grandpa! Hi Grandma!"

"Hi beautiful." Larry picked up Sienna and hugged her tight, "You are getting so big."

"I am 5 now!" Sienna grinned and twirled her ringlets, "I'm a big girl."

"Yes you are. Get in the car with Lily."

Sienna climbed into the back seat with Lily as I reached from the other side of the seat to give my little sister a kiss.

"Lucas, where are we eating?" Lily asked.

"Brooke's favorite restaurant."

"Again?" Lily groaned, "Tell Brooke she needs a new fave."

"I will do that." I laughed at her and then hugged my mom quickly before heading to my own car.

The caravan was coordinated and then we all headed for the restaurant by the water, Brooke and I riding with Savannah and Nathan so we could all talk. We steered away from serious topics and mostly Jamie just told us about all the cool stuff he had gotten while they shopped.

"And I got the Batmobile and a new bike and…"

"You really do spoil them." Brooke laughed as Savannah looked into the rearview mirror smiling.

"The boy needed toys and stuff!" Savannah countered, "Nathan only let him bring one box of toys with him and we were out shopping so…"

"I planned on getting him more when we got our own place but I didn't know where we were staying!" Nathan argued, "I didn't want to bring too much stuff with us."

"Well, you can still buy him stuff this will just be his stuff for at my house." Savannah stuck her tongue out at Nathan, "Go ahead Jamie. What else did we get today?"

"A Leap Frog game and an art set and an ice cream maker!"

"You could have at least left something for the rest of us to buy him for his birthday which is coming up." I teased Savannah.

"Oh, I can come up with more stuff I want." Jamie said and we all laughed.

"I'm sure you can." Brooke hugged him and rolled her eyes, "Just wait until ours gets here. You're gonna want to spoil him or her too."

As soon as I realized what Brooke had just said I looked up to Savannah and Nathan to gauge reactions. Nathan turned around to look at us curiously. Savannah's eyes were wide.

"Are you pregnant?" Nathan asked Brooke who grinned and shook her head no.

"We're adopting." Brooke responded happily, "We don't have a baby yet but um, that's why we're remodeling. We needed more room and the adoption agency that we're using suggested to get everything ready ahead of time so they can do home inspections and everything before something comes up so… that's what we're doing."

"Congratulations." Savannah grinned at us and while I wasn't expecting that reaction from her, it was nice to hear it, "Do you have an age your specifically looking at? Newborn? Older?"

"We don't want to go older than 3 or 4." Brooke replied still grinning from ear to ear, "We'd like a newborn but there's so many kids a little older that need to be adopted I don't think we'd turn down an older child."

"I'm almost 4." Jamie announced.

"Yes you are." Brooke tickled him and he giggled, "Wouldn't you like a new cousin?"

"Yes." Jamie nodded, "That would be awesome."

We continued to talk about the adoption process and I was happy to hear Savannah asking questions and that it hadn't upset her. Peyton had warned us to be careful but this was a good reaction. Even as we were walking towards the restaurant she and Brooke were still talking about it so I felt relieved.

"Lucas!" Lily sprinted towards me and jumped into my arms as if she were trying to get away from someone, "Tell Sienna she has to listen to me! I'm her aunt!"

"I'm older!" Sienna countered as she stood at my feet.

I laughed at the two of them as they bickered.

"So Luke, if Nathan is your brother and I'm your sister does that mean I'm Jamie's aunt too?" Lily asked as Xander came by, whisking Sienna away in a fit of giggles.

"No. Not really." I smiled at her as she batted her long eyelashes at me.

"Then what am I to him?"

"Um… just Lily. A friend maybe?"

She frowned.

"I like being Aunt Lily. If I tell him I'm his aunt do you think he'll believe me?"

"Maybe but why don't you just let him decide what he wants you to be and instead you can be Aunt Lily when Brooke and I have kids?"

"That would be awesome!" Lily exclaimed wiggling to get out of my arms, "When? When will you?"

"Soon." I couldn't tell her an exact date because even I didn't know but soon was enough for her because she took off running. I assumed she was running to tell someone, because that was usually what she did.

It took a little while for the restaurant to get tables together that would fit all of us but when we all sat down the chattering between two five year old girls, an almost four year old boy, a two year old boy, and ten adults was loud to say the least.

"Brooke and Lucas are having a baby." Lily blurted out just as the waitress brought our appetizers to the table.

I groaned and Brooke almost spit her water across the table.

"Gross." Peyton wiped off her face from the water which had escaped, "Brooke!"

"Lily, who told you Lucas and I are having a baby?" Brooke asked her.

"Lucas." Lily shrugged like it was nothing but Brooke turned to me like she wanted to kill me.

"I didn't.."

"Is it true?" Larry asked us, all eyes at the table staring at us.

"Not exactly." I groaned again, louder this time, taking Brooke's hand in mine so that she didn't use it to strangle me. We hadn't exactly decided who all we were going to tell. So far Peyton, Xander, Savannah, and Nathan were the only ones who knew.

"We're adopting." Brooke said with a smile, recovering easily as she squeezed my hand like she wanted to break it.

"So we are getting a baby or um…" I was, like with my writing, at a loss for words.

"That's great!" My mom was grinning from ear to ear, "When did you decide this?"

We went through the conversation as we had in the car with Nathan and Savannah, explaining the remodel of the house and what the adoption agency had told us. Everyone was very happy for us and by the end of it, Brooke no longer wanted to kill me.

"Next time we have a secret, try not telling a five year old girl okay?" Brooke teased me quietly as everyone around us continued talking amongst themselves.

"I'm sorry. I didn't actually tell her." I defended myself, "She was asking if she was Jamie's aunt and I told her that she could be our kids aunt soon. All I said was soon."

Brooke smiled.

"We needed to tell everyone anyway right?"

I nodded and kissed her lightly.

"I love you Brooke."

"I love you Lucas."

"I would like to make a toast." Bevin stood up and looked around at all of us as she held up her glass of wine, "To Lucas and Brooke adopting. To Savannah and Nathan and Jamie coming home but mostly just to all of us, being together again. I missed this."

We all agreed with her toast and clinked our glasses together, even the plastic cups that the kids had. She was completely right. It was nice just being together again.

_**2nd author's note: does anyone have any preference in what gender brooke and lucas adopt? do you think it should be an infant? older? should it be more than one? I did some adoption research and there are a lot of sibsets out there for adoption so I was considering a sibset. what do you guys think? :)**_


	4. Chapter 4: On Location

**_Author's Note: Okay, so this is kind of a short chapter but it accomplishes what I need it to accomplish so I hope you guys like it. Thanks to kapeesh, HistoryNerd, SmgedLezi14, Bazzle and AmberLovesLOST for reviewing the last chapter. HistoryNerd, I am trying to make the wait periods between chapters shorter, I promise! Um, I think I've made a decision on the age and gender for Brooke and Lucas's adoption but that won't be coming for a bit so... keep an eye out :) Anyway, I have to work in like 4 hours so I should get some sleep. Enjoy :) And as always, I welcome your suggestions!_**

**Chapter Four**

**On Location**

**Camille POV**

Prague, the capital city of the Czech Republic, in summer was amazing. The middle of June, 65° and sunny with a slight chance of rain. On one of my rare days off, I was ecstatic to be able to just spend the day sightseeing with my incredible boyfriend.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I grinned as I twirled around in the middle of Old Town Square, "What do you think? I'm so excited you're here."

"I'm excited too." Tim grabbed my hand to stop me from twirling and pulled me in for a kiss, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." I said softly, placing my hands on his cheeks, "You're home for good this time right?"

A bittersweet smile fluttered across his face and he ran his fingers through my hair, placing a light kiss on my forehead.

"You know the answer to that."

I sighed. I was hoping the answer had changed. It never changed. It was always the same.

"So two weeks and then what? Where are you being stationed?" I sighed, knowing where this was going, "Iraq again? Italy? Germany?"

"Jacksonville."

My eyes snapped up to connect with his and he grinned.

"North Carolina."

"Shut up!" I jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and placing quick kisses all over his face, "This is amazing. That's… so much better than Iraq. I'm… ecstatic and speechless…"

"For a speechless girl you sure say a lot."

"Don't tease me!" I smacked him lightly on the chest and he laughed, "Seriously? You're gonna be in Jacksonville, North Carolina?"

"At least for the next three years." Tim grinned, "It's just one hour from Tree Hill. We could be closer to our friends again."

"We? Oh baby, I'm ecstatic that you're gonna be in North Carolina because it's stateside but I can't move with you. I've got six months of filming for this movie still then post-production and modeling plus I have more scripts for more movies coming in…"

"Now who's the one avoiding living together?"

I knew he was half joking but the half serious part of it didn't escape me. This was a conversation we had been having for years. Whenever I asked him to move in with me in New York he said he couldn't because of all the deployments. It was sort of ironic now the way the tables were being turned on me.

"Tim, that's not fair. I have obligations. I can't just pick up and move back to North Carolina with you." I was starting to wish that we were inside my hotel room to have this conversation as people around us began to stare. "I travel too much and when I'm not traveling my life is in New York."

"So what? You travel all the time. Why can't your base be in North Carolina? You can still travel to New York and Los Angeles and Prague from North Carolina!" Tim was actually arguing with me now and I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to give up on this easily, "Savannah did."

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at him, "What do you mean Savannah did?"

"You asked me to check on her before I left New York to come here and when I went to her condo she had moved. I called her assistant and she told me that Savannah moved back to Tree Hill."

"You're kidding me right?" Never in my life would I have guessed she would have such a radical change of heart, "Last time I saw her she was drunk off her ass, bitching about how Matt put her on model restriction. I wouldn't have left her if I didn't have to because I really thought that she was going to kill herself but Anaya was supposed to be watching her!"

"Anaya, the magical assistant, got fired. Her severance pay was Savannah's Aston Martin. Apparently right after you left Savannah checked herself into rehab, checked out, sold the condo and moved back to Tree Hill." Tim smiled, "So will you agree to move in with me now?"

"No! This is huge Tim! She doesn't even go back to that place to visit. I have to call her." I pulled out my cell phone but Tim grabbed it and held it out of my reach.

"I'm not giving it back until you agree to move in with me."

"Tim!" I reached for the phone but he pulled it out of my reach, "Tim, stop."

"Move in with me…"

I tried again to get the phone and again failed, cursing beneath my breath.

"I'm not moving in with you while you're acting like a child. Give me my phone."

"You used to like it when I acted like a child." Tim grabbed me with his free arm while still managing to keep my phone out of reach as he kissed my neck, "Move in with me."

"You're being ridiculous." I sighed, giving in more and more as he placed kisses along my collarbone, "I can't move in with you."

"Yes you can and you will if you want your phone back."

I groaned and my eyes fluttered shut as I gave up reaching for the phone and gave in to the way he made me feel. Safe, sexy, and loved.

"If I move in with you, I'm not gonna be home much. Can we handle that?"

Tim stopped the kissed and took a step back, smiling at me.

"Yeah. We've been handling it since high school. I've been deployed the majority of the time. You've been working. We get like a total of a month together the entire year usually and here we are, still going strong. We can do this."

I sighed and nodded, giving in. He thrust the phone into my hand and started doing a dance around the square that I hadn't seen him do since high school. I couldn't help laughing at how goofy he looked and it made me realize how much I missed goofy Tim. These days he was much more serious US Marine Tim.

"I love you." I called out to him and he stopped dancing as he turned to me and flashed me an award winning grin.

"I love you too."

We spent the rest of the afternoon sight seeing happily, my phone call to Savannah forgotten as we took in The Dancing House, The Astronomical Clock, and even a few museums. By the time we returned to my hotel room I was exhausted, collapsing on the bed and watching Tim carefully prepare himself for bed. So much had changed since high school.

My goofy but loveable boyfriend had matured, become responsible, and he had a real job serving and protecting the country. After graduation I thought Tim going into the military would be the end of the world and now, it seemed like life was just beginning. And him being stationed in North Carolina definitely helped to boost my feeling of security when it came to him.

"So where are we going to live? Do we need to buy a house? Are we going to live on base? I have so many questions."

Tim reappeared from the bathroom, a toothbrush in his mouth. He held up his hand to me to signal that I wait for a second then returned and finished brushing his teeth.

"I was thinking we should get a place off base. I haven't really asked but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be allowed to live with me on base unless we're married and seeing as how I had to blackmail you to even move in with me, I'm thinking marriage is a little too much for you right now."

"Isn't it for you?" I frowned as he joined me on the bed, staring straight into my eyes, "I mean, we're barely 23 years old. We've never really lived together. We've spent the last five years in a long distance, barely communicative relationship. I love you but…"

"I'd marry you today." Tim said simply and I could see in his eyes he was serious, "I don't care what the world says is normal, I've never been normal and I don't want to start now. I love you."

I smiled.

"I love you too but marriage at our age with our history coming from the families that we come from is insane. We'll get there but not right now."

"I'll wait."

I stood from the bed and pulled my pajamas from the top drawer of the nearby dresser, watching Tim watch me as I stripped down to nothing and then slipped on my tank top and boy shorts.

"Do you like what you see?" I teased him, doing a little dance as if I was going to take my shirt back off.

"I definitely like what I see." Tim beckoned me to the bed and I happily obliged, climbing over him and letting my lips rest against his as we entered an intense make-out session.

The heat was increasing and clothes were being re-removed when his phone rang and I groaned, knowing he would have to answer it no matter what.

"Smith." He always answered his phone with just his last name now.

The smile that fluttered across his face at least told me that he wasn't going to be taken from me early this time, as had happened so many times before.

"We were actually just talking about that. Hold on a second." Tim pressed speaker on his phone and then placed it on the bed, "Okay, Cammie can hear you now."

"Why don't you ever answer your phone young lady?" Brooke's voice echoed through the room and I laughed.

"I'm a busy woman. No time to answer a stupid cell phone."

"No time for your friends Ms. Thang?" Brooke laughed back, "Fine, Tim. Take me off speakerphone. I don't want to talk to the snob."

"Hey!" I objected, grabbing the phone so Tim couldn't do as she said, "I am not a snob."

"Whatever." Brooke pretended to be upset for a second and then she began to giggle, "Hey, I just wanted to call and see how you guys were doing. We miss you. You're the only ones missing to get the group back together."

"Yeah, we just heard about that. Savannah's back in Tree Hill?"

"Yes she is and so is Nathan." Brooke sounded very happy to announce that fact, "We are having a blast. It's like old times minus the drama and homework."

Tim and I chuckled.

"We'll be nearby soon." Tim said, "I'm being stationed in Jacksonville."

"Seriously?" Brooke squeaked, "And Cammie's coming with you?"

"Why is that so hard to believe? We've been dating for like 6 years."

"Yeah but you've got commitment issues." Brooke said as if it were a well known fact, "We just figured eventually Tim would get tired of you."

"That is so wrong." I let my mouth fall open, "I do not have commitment issues."

"And I could never get tired of her." Tim added.

"Yeah, if that's your story." I could hear Brooke smiling, "So you're seriously moving to Jacksonville? That's a lot closer than wherever the hell you two are right now."

"Yes it is." I replied, "We're in Prague."

"Oh, I love Prague!" Brooke sighed, "Especially in June. If only I wasn't remodeling my house, designing my new line, and organizing the new ad campaign… I would take a week off and come see you. How's the movie going by the way? It's your first right?"

"Second, but the first one was direct to DVD." I said with a shrug, "The movie is going great. It's an action movie so I get to do a lot of stunts and it's just awesome."

"That's so cool. I can't wait to see it. Oh um, Lucas and I are going to be adopting soon."

"Adopting?" I frowned, "Like a puppy?"

"No." Brooke broke into hysterics, "Like a baby."

"No way. Not you." I shook my head, "Seriously?"

"What? You don't think I can be a good mom?"

"No I do, but why adopt? You and Lucas would have like the cutest babies in the world! Can you guys not… I mean, is there something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong I just can't take the time to be pregnant right now." Brooke sighed, "We thought about just like having a baby but we ruled it out for a lot of reasons. I mean, first, I'm always working so stress would be high and the doctor said that stress is the leading cause of miscarriages and I couldn't handle that."

I thought about Savannah and Bryan and nodded, although Brooke couldn't see me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"Plus I'm already me so extra hormones would be crazy and we like the idea of helping kids who are already born! There are so many kids out there who just need good homes and Luke and I can give that to them you know?"

"Yeah, I can see it I guess." I shrugged and Tim put his hand on my arm as if he were comforting me for some reason, although I didn't know why, "So, boy? Girl? What's the plan?"

"We haven't decided on any one child yet. We are remodeling the house so we can get everything ready and then we're going to start actively working with an agency. We're really not picky about boy or girl so we'll see."

"Well congratulations Brooke! I'm really happy for you." I said.

"Me too!" Tim added, "Tell Lucas we're happy for you guys."

"I will." I heard Brooke yawn.

"What time is it in Tree Hill?"

"Only like 4 in the afternoon but I'm exhausted. Savannah and Nate moved back yesterday so we spent last night out to dinner with everyone just catching up and stuff and then today Savannah asked me to go shopping with her because Nathan went shopping with her yesterday and refused to do it again, so I went to get like groceries and other stuff for the house and we took Jamie with us and of course, a four year old is exhausting and now I'm at my office trying to complete some sketches and I was completely void of inspiration so I figured I would call my favorite Marine and I got a bonus of my favorite model turned actress."

Tim and I both laughed.

"You better get used to running errands with a kid Brooke Davis. They're not easy." I called out to her.

"Oh, how would you know missy? The closest you've been to a kid is… I don't know but you don't have any so shut up."

"I used to hang out with Sienna when they came to visit me and Savannah in New York a few years ago."

"Yeah well, five year old Sienna is much more energetic, trust me. Oh and don't get me started on Sienna, Lily and Jamie all together! Geez, last night was insane. The three of them are already like crazy bonded. They decided to play hide and seek in our dark yard last night without telling any of us what they were doing and it wasn't one of them that was it, it was any adult who decided to try to find them so we spent an hour freaking out because we had no clue where they were. It was good times."

"I'm sure it was. Well, when we get details about the move we'll let you know and I'm sure we will all have to get together for a family reunion."

"I'm excited. I know it's late over there. I'll let you go."

"We love you!" I called out to her and she giggled.

"Love you guys too. Have fun!"

Brooke hung up and Tim replaced his phone on the nightstand before moving under the blankets and pulling me with him, holding me tight.

"I'm kind of excited about the move now." I admitted to Tim as we lay in bed, "Everyone sounds happy. It sounds like Savannah's doing good right? Better than New York?"

"A lot better than New York." Tim nodded, "And soon we'll be closer to all of them."

He held me until we fell asleep and for the first time in months, I was able to sleep soundly, in the arms of the only man I loved.

The next day I had a early morning call time when I needed to be on set, so I slipped from bed carefully so as not to wake Tim. It was still dark outside when I left in my chauffeured car. I should have known that he wasn't really asleep but it still surprised me when my cell phone rang.

"So what? You just sneak out without even kissing me goodbye now?" He teased when I answered.

"No. I didn't want to wake you up." I laughed, "We went to sleep late last night and I figured you needed your sleep."

"I need my sleep less than I need you." He replied.

"Well, I will remember that for next time." I paused and listened to him yawn, "So what are your plans for today?"

"Right now I am going to go back to sleep and then later I was thinking I would go buy a video game system and spend the rest of the day playing video games. What about you?"

"Well, I have an early call time so that means I might get out earlier or it might just mean I have a very long day ahead of me. It depends on how long it takes us to get the shots the director wants us to get. I'll try to call you and let you know as the day goes on okay?"

"Okay." Tim yawned again, "Tomorrow you think they'll let me come to set and watch? I would love to see you in action."

"I'll ask." I smiled, "I love you. Go back to sleep."

"Have a good day."

The car pulled onto the lot where I switched to a golf cart driven by my assistant who was ready to go over the days scenes with me and help me to prepare as she drove me to hair, makeup, wardrobe and the morning director's meeting.

"You look happy." One of my co-stars teased me as we headed for the set where we would be filming our first scene.

"I am happy." I replied, ignoring his teasing tone, "My boyfriend's in town and he asked me to move in with him so I guess in a few months I will be moving back to North Carolina."

"Back? Like you've lived there before?"

"Yeah, for my senior year of high school. It's how Tim and I met. He's from there."

"This is the Marine boyfriend right?"

I nodded and laughed.

"No, it's the other boyfriend." I teased him and he stuck his tongue out at me, "Yeah, of course it's my Marine boyfriend. He's finally being stationed stateside in Jacksonville, North Carolina which is like an hour from where we used to live so I'm actually pretty excited about it."

"Well congratulations." I received a hug from him and then we went to work, both of us getting into character which meant seriousness.

What I had hoped would be a short day of filming turned into a 14 hour day from hell and by the time I stumbled into my hotel room that night, I was completely dead.

"You look like you just got mugged." Tim said as he watched me collapse onto the bed, "You didn't did you?"

"Uh-uh." I mumbled into the pillow.

"How was work?"

"I'm so tired." I turned over to lay on my back and look at him where he was sitting by the TV in the corner of the room, "I screwed up my lines like 20 times on this one scene and the director was so pissed at me. Of course, I was pissed at myself because by this time of the day I had already filmed three other scenes and none of them were exactly easy so I just wanted the day to be done. We finally got the scene but I seriously should have been home like 4 hours ago. I feel like an idiot."

"You are not an idiot." Tim looked away from his video game and smiled at me, "Wanna come play Call of Duty with me?"

"Hell no. I've been amidst enough grenades and explosions today to last a freaking lifetime. I'm gonna go shower."

The warm shower relaxed my tense muscles and I felt refreshed when I returned to the bed thirty minutes later, now in my pajamas as I laid down to watch Tim.

"Just a question but why, if you've been involved in a real war, would you play a wartime video game?"

Tim smiled.

"Because I'm good at it."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, okay. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. What are we gonna do for dinner?"

"Room service." I opened the drawer of the bedside table and looked over the menu, "I'm thinking steak and mashed potatoes because, as stated previously, I've had a really long day. What do you want?"

"Well, since I'm watching my carbs…" Tim paused the video game and crossed the room to join me on the bed, "Just kidding. Steak and mashed potatoes sounds good. Order dessert though."

"Maybe I'll have to be your dessert."

Tim eyed me hungrily and leaned over to kiss me.

"I would be perfectly okay with you as dessert."

"Ooh, they have chocolate cake." I laughed turning back to him as his face fell, "You can have your cake and eat me too. It's okay."

He began to laugh loudly as I picked up the phone to dial, waiting for the room service staff to answer.

"How do you want your steak cooked?" I asked him while the phone was still ringing.

"Medium-well." He slapped my butt and then headed back to the video games while I placed our order.

It would be up to our room in about 20 minutes, which sounded good to me.

"So I made a few calls about the move to Jacksonville today." Tim said as he continued to play, "And I found a couple places that I think might work for us. Nothing too fancy but I think you'll like them. The real estate agent I talked to faxed us a list of about ten houses that are reasonably priced so you should look them over. The folder's on the dresser."

I grabbed the folder on the dresser and spread out the information on the bed so I could look it over. While all the houses were nice, they were each only two or three bedrooms and the pictures didn't really show much luxury to them. Compared to my condo in New York and the house I had grown up in in California, these houses were modest to say the least.

"You realize we can afford much nicer houses than this right?"

Tim paused the game and turned to look at me, frowning.

"Well, yeah, but if it's just you and me and you're going to be traveling most of the time and I'm gonna be working, I figured we didn't need the house to be too big right? I mean, three bedrooms is pushing it. You and I share a room."

"I guess…" I frowned back at him, not used to being practical when I was house hunting rather than just going for the most luxurious place I could afford, "I don't know Tim. I like these places but what about an entertainment room or a library?"

"Are we going to use those things?"

"You could use the entertainment room for video games and when I have a movie to screen or something I could totally use it for that."

"Or we could just get a big screen TV for the living room." Tim countered.

"Alright look, I'm a spoiled brat okay? I need nicer than this. Hardwood floors are nice but I need granite countertops and professional cooking appliances and rooms that I will never use because that's what I'm used to and I don't know if I know how to be without those things."

A smile slowly spread across Tim's lips and he rolled his eyes although I knew he was just teasing me.

"Fine, I did have her send one other listing over." He reached and pulled another folder from the floor next to him, "Here."

I took this folder and opened to see a beautiful white two story home surrounded by a lush green yard and cement driveway. Further inspection of the included pictures showed a beautiful kitchen with recessed lighting, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, and plenty of cabinets for storage. It seemed recessed lighting actually went throughout the entire house. The gorgeous staircase lining one wall of the living room actually made the house seem tri level as it went up a bit, leveled out, and then went up a bit more, with doors on each level. The paint would need to be redone as the pastel colors of the upstairs bedrooms made me want to puke but there was an entertainment room and overall the entire place seemed immaculate. The description said it was situation on a total of 1.7 acres of land and I knew I didn't need to read anything else. I was in love.

"This one." I said simply, tossing all the rest of the house listings onto the floor for dramatic flair, "I want this one."

Tim laughed and nodded.

"I knew you would so I already told the real estate agent to put in an offer. They're asking $695,000 so I offered $650,000. Sound reasonable to you?"

I nodded and set down the folder, jumping off the bed and running across the room so I could straddle his waist, facing him as I sat in his lap.

"Thank you baby." I said, running my hands over his chest, "You know me way too well by now."

"Yeah, I do." Tim shrugged, "No big deal."

I giggled and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Remind me to reward you generously later okay?"

"Later?" Tim frowned, "Why not now?"

"Because our food will be here in like two seconds."

Just as predicted, before he could respond there was a knock on the door and I ran to accept the food delivery, tipping our waiter before he disappeared.

"How in the hell did you predict that?" Tim asked as he turned off his video game to join me at the table as I set the food out for us.

"I'm psychic. Didn't I ever tell you that?"

Tim rolled his eyes at me.

"No, actually I've just ordered room service a lot and every single time when they tell me it's going to be a certain amount of time they get her five minutes before that time is up. So they told me 20 minutes and it got here in 15."

"You could have gotten away with saying you were psychic." Tim said as he began to cut into his steak.

I smiled over at him and shrugged.

"I know, but I love you too much to lie to you."

He smiled back.

"Don't forget," He said as he chewed his first bite of steak, "You owe me a generous reward."

I took my first bite and nodded slowly as I eyed him and licked my lips seductively.

"I won't forget. I'm looking forward to it."


	5. Chapter 5: Morning Sickness

**_Author's Note: Holy monkey butts! It has been a long time since I updated this story and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry! Life and writer's block got in the way and that's no excuse so ya'll have every right to whip me for the long wait! I want to say a huge thanks to music-is-love10 who sent me a message after all these months just to ask for an update and the fact that this story meant enough to you to ask means so much to me! I also want to say thanks to brilliant brunette, drumstiix, and TeamBrathanbaby23 for reviewing the last chapter. TeamBrathanbaby23, you inspired me to write this chapter by suggesting it come from Peyton's POV and for that I will be forever grateful because honestly, if it wasn't for that, I'd probably still have writer's block. Thanks to everyone who still reads this and enjoy! OH, and don't forget to REVIEW!!!!!! Thanks :)_**

**Chapter Five**

**Morning Sickness**

**Peyton POV**

My head pounded with the incessant beat of a drum machine turned to time warp speed. If my eyes were open the room would spin. If my eyes were closed my stomach did flip flops. I knew that eventually I would have to get out of bed but at that very second, I literally couldn't do it.

"Mom! Eli's throwing his cereal around the kitchen again!" Sienna yelled from downstairs.

"Sienna!" I yelled back, grimacing from the pain in my head, "Come here please!"

Within thirty seconds my bouncy five year old daughter came springing into my room, her blonde curls flailing.

"He keeps throwing them and then I have to pick them up cause he won't and he won't stop and he just laughs when I tell him to stop and…" Sienna was whining.

"Shh." I said simply, holding my finger to my lips, "My head hurts. I'm not feeling good and right now, I can't really handle Eli okay so do me a favor, use my cell phone and call daddy…"

Sienna climbed up onto the bed, sitting next to me and kissing my cheek before taking the cell phone from my hand gently. Thankfully I didn't need to guide her through finding her dad's number because just then I knew I had to get to the bathroom immediately or I was going to throw up all over my bed.

I raced to the bathroom, ignoring my head, and dove straight for the toilet, emptying the contents of my stomach violently. After a minute of continuing the process, weakened, I was able to move away from the toilet enough to lay flat against the cool tile floor.

"Daddy?" I could hear Sienna on the phone in the bedroom, "Um, mommy's not feeling good and Eli's throwing cereal all over the place downstairs and I can't make him stop and I know you're not here but mommy said to call you cause she can't handle Eli right now and… yeah, she just threw up. Okay, hold on."

I heard Sienna slip off the bed and her small footsteps resonated through the floor until she was standing in front of me.

"Daddy wants to talk to you. I'm gonna go clean up after Eli." Sienna sighed as she handed me the phone and then disappeared from the bathroom.

"Hello?" I said as quietly as I could.

"Hey you…" Xander sighed, "Morning sickness kicked in huh?"

"With a vengeance." I whined, "I've never felt this horrible in my life Xander. My head hurts. My muscles ache. I'm severely nauseous. The room spins when my eyes are open. And I can't get the energy to get up off the bathroom floor right now let alone go downstairs to deal with rambunctious children. Although, Sienna's good. She's old enough to understand mommy doesn't feel good and so she'll behave but Eli's too young to understand really you know so he's just being himself and playing around and I can't do anything."

"It's gonna be okay baby." Xander reassured me, although I didn't feel very reassured considering he was on the other side of the world, "I wish I could be there to help but you know I can't right now. I'm stuck here at least until tomorrow. Can you get someone to watch the kids today?"

"I don't know." I was whining and I knew I was but the nausea was starting to increase again, "Hold on a second."

I put the phone down and resumed my position over the toilet.

"Sorry." When I returned to the phone Xander sighed.

"Call Brooke. She loves spending time with the kids and you know she'll be happy to help you out okay? I'm really sorry baby. I have to go. I have a meeting I have to be in."

"Okay." I whimpered.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I hung up the phone and let my hand fall to the floor, groaning as I forced myself to sit up and lean over the toilet again for another round.

"Mommy…" Sienna tip toed into the bathroom, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay sweetie." I sighed and turned to look at her, "Where's your brother?"

"I took his cereal away and put on cartoons. Is that okay?"

I nodded.

"Can you do me another favor?" I asked her and she nodded eagerly.

"Call your Aunt Brooke. Ask her if she can watch you and Eli today cause I'm sick okay?"

"Okay." Sienna took the phone from my hand and then went back into the bedroom, jumping up onto the bed where I could still see and hear her, "Hi Aunt Brooke!"

She paused while I assumed Brooke was talking.

"I'm good. Um… mommy is really sick today. She's throwing up a lot and she um… she doesn't look that great."

"Gee thanks." I mumbled.

"Can you watch me and Eli today?"

There was another short pause while Brooke was talking.

"Oh." Sienna pouted and looked at me, "Mommy, Aunt Brooke says she'd love to watch us but she has to work today and she can't get out of it. Then she asked Uncle Lucas but he says his editor's gonna kill him if he doesn't get at least two chapters into her by tomorrow."

I wanted to laugh at how grown up she sounded reciting what I'm sure were Brooke's exact words but I didn't have the energy.

"Okay, tell her I said thank you and then tell her goodbye."

"Mom says thank you and I gotta go now." Sienna smiled, "Love you Aunt Brooke. Bye."

Sienna stared at me with the phone in her hand as if she was waiting for her next instructions.

"If your Aunt Brooke has to work then so does your Aunt Bevin. I don't trust Skills with both of you at the same time… Just bring me the phone Sienna. I'll make some calls. Can you just go downstairs and make sure Eli doesn't get into anything?"

"Yeah." Sienna handed me the phone and sighed, "I love you mommy."

"I love you too sweetie."

When she was gone, before I could call anyone else, I threw up again silently cursing the baby growing inside of me.

"This is all your fault." I mumbled, pointing at my stomach and then rolling my eyes at how retarded I sounded as I talked to myself. I held the cell phone up and found Savannah's phone number, pressing send and hoping that she would answer.

"Hello!" Savannah answered her phone very happily, considering the hour of the morning.

"You sound very chipper for it being so early in the morning." I said, "And here I thought I was going to be waking you up."

"No, I've been awake for a little while. Went to Karen's and got a scone which Jamie ate and coffee which Nathan drank most of. What are you doing up so early?"

"Well, besides the fact that I have a five year old and a two year old who don't sleep in, I also have morning sickness so I've been up for a little while fighting nausea and since I lost the fight, I'm now laying on my bathroom floor with a serious need to brush my teeth."

"Peyton… I'm sorry." I could hear her pout although I couldn't see it, "You okay? Do you need me to bring you something?"

"Actually, I was sort of hoping you could take Sienna and Eli off my hands for the day?" I groaned and didn't even get a chance to ask her to hold before I was doubled over the toilet again. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Savannah replied, "I would love to take Sienna and Eli but I promised Jamie a trip to the San Diego zoo so I don't think I can. Where's Xander?"

"Spain." I said simply and then I was forced to resort to begging, "You can use the plane since Xander sent it back for us to use if we needed it and if you take the kids with you I will love you forever. Please? All I want to do is crawl back into bed right now. Brooke and Bevin have to work. If Lucas doesn't get at least two chapters into his editor by tomorrow they're gonna kill him. I'm practically begging. No, scratch that, I am begging. Please!"

"Hold on a second." She covered the phone so that I couldn't hear what she was saying and for a moment I thought I was going to have to cave and surrender my kids to Skills for the day since I knew that my dad and Karen were both working.

Luckily, Savannah came back on the phone with good news.

"We'll take the kids with us."

"Thank you so much!" I sighed and without thinking began to cry. Suddenly the emotions were too much to handle.

"Peyt… are you sure you're okay?"

"It was never this bad with the other two. I feel like I'm dying." I cried, "I really just want to go back to sleep."

"I'll be over in a few minutes to pick up the kids. Hang in there okay?"

"Okay."

I intended to call Sienna back upstairs as soon as I hung up the phone but another wave of nausea overtook me and by the time it ended Savannah had already arrived. I could here her downstairs with the kids.

"Aunt Savannah!" I heard Sienna yell, "Mommy's not feeling good."

"I know sweetheart, that's why you're spending the day with me." Savannah replied.

"We are?" Sienna sounded excited, "Awesome! Eli, we're going with Aunt Savannah today!"

"Yes!" I could hear Eli jumping up and down too.

"Go get dressed." Savannah commanded and when she didn't immediately come to find me I figured that while Sienna was getting ready on her own, Savannah was helping Eli.

"Peyt?"

"I'm in here." I called out to her when she came to find me.

She stopped in the doorway and frowned when she found me still laying on the bathroom floor, one hand on my stomach and one clutching a small towel which I had managed to pull from the nearest towel rack.

"Oh, I know that position well." She sighed, setting Eli down and moving to sit behind me, "When I was pregnant with Alexandra, I had really bad morning sickness. I spent half of the pregnancy laying just like this on the floor of the bathroom."

Eli came and sat next to me, mimicking her movements so he could help rub my back.

"Ok momma?" He asked and I smiled, turning to look at him and nod.

"Yeah, I'm okay baby. I just don't feel good."

Eli frowned and leaned down placing a sloppy kiss on my nose.

"You better." He patted me happily and I laughed.

"Thank you Eli. I do feel better." I hugged him the best I could and then looked over at Savannah, "And thank you for coming over, and taking them, and telling me that story. You never really told me a lot about what it was like for you…"

She shrugged and I knew it was her way of telling me she didn't want to talk about her pregnancy anymore, but it meant a lot to me that she had shared anything at all.

"I know it's hard Savannah." I sighed, "But talking about it might help."

We sat in silence until Sienna joined us a few minutes later.

"You okay mommy?" Sienna stuck out her lower lip sadly, "I could stay and take care of you."

"No, it's okay sweetie. I'm fine." I forced myself to sit up and take a deep breath, "You go have fun with Aunt Savannah. I hear she's taking you to San Diego."

"Really?" Sienna's eyes lit up, "I love San Diego! Can we go to Sea World? And can we take Lily? She's never been to San Diego."

Savannah and I both laughed at her. She was always so enthusiastic about everything. If we had told her they were going to Sri Lanka she probably would have been happy with that too.

"Not this time." Savannah said and Sienna started to pout again, "Sienna, with you, Eli, and Jamie I can't handle another kid right now. I love Lily but not today."

"Please?"

"Stop." I said firmly and Sienna stomped her foot loudly but didn't say another word, "Sorry Savannah. I owe you for taking them."

"We'll be fine." Savannah hugged me and helped me up from the floor so I could get comfortable in my bed before they left, "Sienna's going to behave because she loves me and she knows that if she doesn't behave she gets nothing on this trip."

"She better." I raised an eyebrow and Sienna sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle, "Have a good time. Thanks again."

"You're welcome." Eli reached up and took Savannah's hand before they headed out of the bedroom, "Get some rest. Call me if you need anything else."

"Okay."

Watching them go, I pulled the covers up to my chin and sighed, hoping that I wouldn't have to make a return trip to the bathroom anytime soon. I thought about calling out to Savannah before they were out the door to ask her to bring me a trash can I could throw up in instead, but I resisted. She was already doing me a huge favor taking the kids with her.

To take my mind off the nausea I grabbed the remote from my bedside table and turned on the TV which hung on the wall across from me. I found some mind numbing Lifetime movie and left it there, watching half interested until I felt myself drifting back to sleep.

A few hours later, I woke up surprised to find Brooke sitting next to me on the bed, flipping through channels aimlessly.

"Brooke?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and squinted, "What time is it?"

"1:12." Brooke glanced at the clock and then smiled at me, "How are you feeling sleeping beauty?"

"I'm okay. I don't feel nauseous anymore but I desperately need to brush my teeth."

"Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything but your breath is really bad."

Taking the hint, I threw the covers back and headed for the bathroom.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked in jumbled English through the toothpaste foam occupying my mouth.

"Figured I'd come to check on you. See if you wanted to get lunch with me. Where are the kids?" Brooke turned the TV off and focused her full attention on talking to me, "I almost panicked when I got here and they weren't here but I figured…"

"Oh my God! They're not here?" I pretended to freak out which made Brooke turn ghostly pale before I started laughing, "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Jerk!" Brooke threw a pillow at me and I laughed as I jumped out of the way of it.

"They're with Savannah and Nathan in San Diego. They were going to the zoo."

"San Diego?" Brooke frowned, "Who just randomly goes to San Diego?"

"Savannah." I rolled my eyes playfully, "If Xander had more time he'd probably do the same thing with our kids. He's always telling me about all the great trips they took when they were little."

"Yeah? Like what?" Brooke watched me as I headed to my closet to change.

"He said they spent every summer in Spain until Savannah was three and then after that they would spend summer vacations in different places chosen by simply spinning a globe and pointing."

"Seriously? I always wondered what that would be like! To just point to a map and decide that's where you're going. We had the money but the parentals never had the time."

"They went with their nanny." I emerged from my closet fully dressed and smiled, "You've met Deacon and Veronica. Veronica is the anti-Christ and Deacon is a surgeon who I don't think will ever retire. Xander said they barely ever saw their parents growing up."

"I know how that goes." Brooke sighed, "That's why I'm so glad that Lucas and I can both work from home if we need to you know? So that when we finally have kids one of us can be with them all the time. We won't have to hire nanny's or let them grow up in day care."

"Yeah." I nodded, mimicking Brooke's sigh, "It's nice being a stay at home mom most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Brooke frowned at me, "I thought you loved being home with the kids."

"I did… I do. I don't know Brooke. It's hardly the time for me to start thinking about going back to school or starting a career…" I patted my stomach and shrugged, "I just… I had plans you know? I wanted to start my own record label and go to art school and… stuff. I wanted to do stuff and not that I regret a single moment of it but getting pregnant with Sienna changed things."

"Yes they did." Brooke nodded, "But you can still do those things Peyton! You wanna start a record label? Start it! You certainly have the capital and if you need an investor, I'm in. Owning your own business, you can still spend a lot of time with your kids and your husband and run the label too. Start it slow… just focus on one artist… it could work!"

I shook my head, dismissing the idea.

"I couldn't even get out of bed this morning without vomiting everything I've eaten for the past 48 hours so I had to pawn my kids off on my sister-in-law. How would I run a record label and be a good mom at the same time?"

"It can be done Peyton. I'm planning on doing it. Are you saying I can't do it?" Brooke challenged me.

"No, of course not." I groaned, knowing Brooke was purposely baiting me and I was about to bite, "You'll be a great mom Brooke but I'm…"

"A great mom!" Brooke threw another pillow at me, "Just think about it goldilocks. Don't let your dreams go when they are perfectly obtainable. You'll just end up with regret."

"Thank you oh wise one!" I rolled my eyes at Brooke and picked up the pillow she had thrown, "Let's go to lunch. I'm starved."

"Okay." Brooke jumped off the bed and the two of us headed downstairs, out to her car which we jumped into and headed for downtown.

Despite my best argument, my head was already forming so many ideas based on the things Brooke had said in the house. She made it sound so easy. As if raising three kids and running a business could be done with my hands tied behind my back.

"Let's say I did decide to start a business. Start a record label." I turned to Brooke, "I don't have a business degree. I have no idea how to run a record label."

"So you hire someone who does and you learn. When I was first starting Clothes Over Bros, all I knew how to do was design and make really beautiful clothing but I had no idea how to run my own label! Or how to run a magazine or how to open stores… I was clueless so I hired Ingrid Unger. I signed her to a one year contract and she taught me everything I needed to know. At the end of the year Clothes Over Bros was soaring to heights I couldn't have even imagined in the beginning but I didn't need Ingrid anymore so I let her go and brought on two people to replace her. One was a retail specialist and one a magazine editor. Signed each of them to a one year contract and I learned what I could in the year they were there. Now I know how to run a fashion label, a magazine, and a retail line of stores. I have an amazing brand and even better staff but if I had to do it by myself, I would at least know how."

"That's kind of genius Brooke." I had never even considered that I could hire someone to teach me what I needed to know.

"Thanks, I know." Brooke grinned as we pulled up to Karen's, "Come on. I am dying for some good food."

We headed inside and as always, were greeted by Karen's warm smile and two spots at the counter where we could eat.

"Hi girls." Karen leaned again the counter in front of us, "You feeling better Peyton?"

"Much better." I sighed and then frowned, "Wait, how did you know I wasn't feeling good?"

"Savannah and Nathan took Lily. They said they had Sienna and Eli because you weren't feeling well and Sienna and Jamie insisted it wouldn't be fair to go to San Diego without Lily."

"I told Sienna not to push Savannah to that!" I exclaimed.

"Jamie and Sienna both insisted so don't just blame your own daughter." Karen grinned, "Glad you're feeling better. What do you two want to eat?"

"I would like a turkey & provolone sandwich on wheat bread with a side caesar salad and lemonade please." Brooke grinned mischievously, "And my husband please. I know he's here somewhere writing because he thinks that I'm a distraction but I miss him so could you please tell him that I would like to see him?"

Karen and I both laughed at her.

"I'll see what I can do." Karen replied with a shrug, "What about you sweetie?"

"I will have the same as Brooke but minus Lucas." I winked at Karen, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

When Karen was gone Brooke turned to me and smiled.

"You know it's kind of funny, back in the days when you and I were fighting over Lucas who would have imagined that Karen would have ended up a mom to both of us? I'm he daughter-in-law… you're her step daughter…"

"Yeah, funny." I giggled, "It seems like a lifetime ago doesn't it? Junior year? Fighting over Lucas? High school?"

"It does." Brooke nodded, "I miss it sometimes. Even with all the drama, things were simpler then."

"Yeah." I agreed, "And at the same time, it's good to be where we are don't you think? Married? Responsible adults?"

"You with kids. Me with a business. It is nice." Brooke grinned, "But partying was good sometimes too."

"Who's throwing a party?" Lucas asked as he appeared behind us.

"Husband!" Brooke turned around on her stool and grabbed Lucas to pull him down for a kiss, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Lucas raised his eyebrow at her and smiled at me, "How you feeling Peyt?"

"Better. Hungry." I sighed, "Very happy to not be laying on the bathroom floor anymore."

"Gross." Brooke wrinkled her nose at me, "This is a restaurant Peyton. Don't talk about that."

"I didn't say anything!" I rolled my eyes and Lucas laughed.

"I got my two chapters finished." Lucas announced, wrapping his arm around Brooke, "I actually got five chapters finished."

"Five chapters?" Brooke squealed happily, "Luke, that's amazing! What did you decide to write about?"

"I can't tell you." Lucas sighed, "Until I have more written I don't wanna talk about it. I wanna make sure it's going to pan out first."

"But I wanna know." Brooke pouted.

"But you can't." Lucas retorted, sticking his tongue out at her, "I gotta get back to it. Enjoy your lunch okay?"

"Fine." Brooke sighed as if the world had ended.

"I love you." Lucas knew she was just trying to guilt him into telling her what he was writing about so he kissed her softly and then hugged me, "Take care of yourself. I will see you later."

"You too. Good luck on the book."

"Thanks."

Before Brooke could say anything else Lucas had disappeared again.

"I want to know." Brooke complained, "It's not fair. I'm his wife. He's not supposed to keep secrets from me."

"Chill out Brooke. He'll tell you eventually." I sipped on the lemonade Karen had brought over and then jumped a little when my cell phone began to ring from my purse at the same time.

I dug through my bag and eventually pulled out the phone to see it was Xander.

"Hey you." A grin immediately covered my face when I answered the phone.

"Hey yourself. How are you feeling?" Xander asked.

"You're about the 12th person to ask." I teased him, "I'm fine. I'm at Karen's for lunch with Brooke. What are you doing?"

"Signing papers." Xander sighed, "I'm done with this business."

"You say that every time you're frustrated with something over there and you never mean it. What's wrong?"

"My mother is pushing me to give everything over to Orlando and honestly, right now, I see no reason not to. He's 21 now and he's fully capable of taking over. If he runs it into the ground why do I care? Why do I keep feeling like it's my responsibility when it shouldn't be?"

"I don't know."

This was a conversation we had a lot. One we'd been having almost since we got married. When would he give the business to Orlando? When would he be able to stay home with me and help raise our children? When would Spain and running the crime ring there cease to matter? I wouldn't get my hopes up this time. He wasn't really going to hand it all over. Secretly, I think he enjoyed the power it gave him, knowing that he could snap his fingers and he could have anything he wanted done.

"Sorry to dump this on you." Xander sighed again and I could envision him kicking back in his big office chair, running his hand through his hair.

"It's okay. I'm always here to talk if you want to but… I don't know Xander. I do kind of get tired of having this conversation. You know my position on this. I'd prefer you to hand it all over to Orlando."

"Then I should just do it." Xander sounded different this time, as if he was really serious, "I should just give it all to him. The power, the responsibility, the burden of being the boss of an organization this big. I have you and the kids… I could draw again. We could be a real family finally."

"We could…" Despite my best efforts, my hopes were starting to rise as Brooke stared at me funnily, "Do it Xander. Please?"

I could hear a knock on a door on his end of the phone.

"I gotta go baby." Xander said quickly, "I'll call you later. Love you."

The phone was already dead in my hand before I had the chance to respond. With my hopes once again dashed, I tossed the phone back in my purse and frowned at the food now in front of me. I had officially lost my appetite.

"What was all that about?" Brooke asked, watching me stare at my food.

"Nothing." I shrugged, pushing the food away, "Just Xander calling from Spain talking about a life we'll never have."

"Oh, that conversation again huh? I don't understand. It's like I told you a little while ago. If you have the right teacher, anyone can run a business and Xander's a good teacher from what I've seen. Why doesn't he just give the business to Orlando? The family has more money than they know what to do with. What could it hurt to let Orlando run things for awhile and see how it goes? How hard is it to run a fishing company anyway?"

I frowned. The one secret I could never tell my best friend. Xander did much more in Spain than running a fishing company.

"Don't let it ruin your appetite. You're eating for two." Brooke pushed the plate back towards me, "Do what you always do and take care of that baby in there."

Do what I always do. That was exactly it. I always did what was right for my kids. When was it going to be time for Xander to do the same?


	6. Chapter 6: Making Progress

**_Author's Note: First, thank you to my wonderful reviewers Long Live Brucas, HistoryNerd, and music-is-love10. I really, really appreciate the feedback! This chapter is from Savannah's POV as requested and I'm pretty satisfied with it... you all let me know what you think. Enjoy :)_**

**Chapter Six**

**Making Progress**

**Savannah POV**

The sun was shining brightly, reflecting off the water outside my window. Squinting through the sunlight I focused my vision on the clock sitting on the bedside table next to me and groaned, letting myself fall backwards onto the pillows. It was only 6am.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked, startling me so that I sat up quickly.

He smiled at me, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he stretched from his spot in the bed.

"Is waking up next to me that scary?"

"No." I began to laugh nervously, realizing that I was wearing only a tank top and my underwear, "I just don't remember going to bed with you…"

"You didn't. You fell asleep in the car with the kids while I drove us around trying to find a hotel room for the night. When I finally found one I carried you all inside and fell asleep."

The previous day's activities began to come back to me. We had left North Carolina in the morning with Jamie, Sienna, Lily and Eli in tow. We spent all day at the San Diego Zoo and although we had intended to head back to Tree Hill last night, it had gotten late and we were all tired so we decided to spend the night instead. I must have fallen asleep before we had found a hotel to check into.

"The only room they had available was this suite. The couch pulled out into a bed so I put all the kids there and then brought you in here. Don't worry. We both behaved ourselves."

I smiled at him.

"Sorry I freaked a little. You, me… same bed. It hasn't happened in a long time so it was slightly surreal for a minute."

"It's okay. I understand." Nathan pulled the covers back and stood up to stretch again, giving me a nice amount of time to stare at his chiseled body. He was only wearing his boxers so I had a view of just about everything, "So what'd you groan about in the first place?"

"Oh, um… it's only 6 in the morning. I can't believe I'm awake." I forced myself to look away from Nathan's body, "I guess I should go ahead and get dressed though. I'm awake now."

I looked around the room for my clothes and finally found them on the dresser, neatly folded.

"You carried me inside, put me to bed, undressed me and folded my clothes?" I grinned at Nathan, "That's so sweet."

He shrugged it off as he pulled his pants on.

"I wanted you to be comfortable."

We sort of stared at each other in silence for a minute. I always seemed to forget how easy it was to just fall into a comfortable rapport with him. The last few weeks with us living together again kept reminding me that we were connected on so many different levels. It made me miss the times when there was no one else in the world either of us would have wanted to spend the day with.

"You better get dressed in case the kids decide to wake up and come in here soon." Nathan broke the silence as he pulled his shirt over his head, "If we're gonna head back to Tree Hill we should get going."

I nodded and headed into the bathroom, freshening up my hair and slipping into the clothes I had worn the day before. Since we hadn't expected to spend the night in San Diego we hadn't brought a change of clothes with us.

When I emerged from the bathroom I found Nathan and Jamie sitting on the bed laughing quietly.

"Hi." Jamie waved and smiled at me.

"Morning Jamie bear!" I quickly rushed over to him and hugged him tight, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah except Eli kept kicking me."

"Probably a tight squeeze with the four of you in one bed huh?"

Jamie nodded.

"Are the rest of them awake?" I peered through the now open door of the room I had slept in and found Sienna, Lily, and Eli sitting peacefully watching TV, "Morning children!"

"Morning Aunt Savannah!" Sienna called back.

Eli turned and looked at me then got up and ran over to me, insisting on being held. He looked like he wanted to cry.

"What's wrong Eli?" I asked him as he laid his head on my shoulder.

"He's grumpy in the mornings." Sienna responded before Eli could say a word.

"You okay?" I kissed Eli's forehead and he nodded, seemingly content now that I was holding him.

"So, shall we head back or maybe spend a little time in San Diego before we leave?" Nathan asked.

"Daddy? We're in California right?" Jamie looked up at Nathan expectantly.

"Yeah." Nathan nodded, "Why?"

"Can we go see mommy?"

My eyes widened as did Nathan's, both of us staring at Jamie while he waited for an answer.

"Um, mommy doesn't live in San Diego buddy. She lives in Los Angeles." Nathan explained.

"Yeah, but that's in California. It can't be that far, right?"

Nathan seemed to be struggling with the words to answer. Where I knew next to nothing about the situation between him and Haley these days, I knew that children had no concept of distance.

"It's about a 2 hour drive kiddo." I filled in, noticing Nathan's loss for words, "And we really need to get Lily, Sienna and Eli back to North Carolina to their parents."

"Let Savannah and I talk about it and then we'll get back to you okay?" Nathan stalled Jamie just as Jamie opened his mouth to respond to me, "Take Eli and go watch TV with the girls okay?"

Jamie sighed but nodded and took Eli's hand as I set him back on the floor, the two of them heading for the other room while Nathan shut the door so we could talk in peace.

"What do I do?" He asked.

"Uh…" I knew the look on my face had to be of pure bewilderment, like a deer in headlights, "Why are you asking me? I don't know anything about the you, Haley, Jamie thing these days. I don't know what your custody agreement is. I don't know… anything."

Nathan took a deep breath and pulled me to the edge of the bed, making me sit down next to him.

"It's kind of complicated but simple although I know that makes no sense." Nathan closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, "Regardless though, Haley has no legal custody of Jamie. If she's in town or we happen to be in town, we get in contact and see if she wants to spend some time with Jamie. Usually she keeps him for as long as she can or as long as her schedule allows her too. Sometimes that means it's a day. Sometimes that means it's a month. Never more than a month though. The thing is, I think he feels… disconnected a little bit. Jake and Haley have Jenny and Jessie…"

"Jessie?" I frowned.

"Their daughter together. She's 18 months old now I think. You remember Jamie's second birthday? Haley was pregnant."

"That's right!" The memory came back to me, "But, why, if they already have two kids with them, do they not take more time to keep Jamie? I mean, they're both rock stars so they must have a nanny or something to take care of the kids when they can't right?"

"They do but I'm apparently the issue. Haley insists that she sacrifices more time with her son because I'm his father and she wouldn't want him to be away from me."

"That's bullshit." I frowned, not believing for a second the line of crap Haley had been feeding Nathan, "Sorry, but that's just a shitty way of trying to make you feel like it's your fault your son doesn't have his mother. It sounds to me like she doesn't want to spend time with him."

"I think so too. I think she's scared…" Nathan groaned, "This is going to sound incredibly pompous and arrogant but I don't think she ever got over me and I think having Jamie around makes her uncomfortable. It's been this way since he was a baby. She's never really connected to him."

"I'm sorry Nate." I frowned, leaning over and putting my head on his shoulder, "So, what do we do? Tell Jamie no?"

"I guess." Nathan sighed, "I don't know. I… Maybe I should call Haley and see what she thinks. Maybe she'll be cool and want to see him."

"I think Jamie would be really happy if she did." I smiled at Nathan and our eyes connected for a minute.

He sat mere centimeters from me and I was acutely aware of how amazing he smelled, despite the lack of personal hygiene with our dirty clothes and un-showered selves. He still managed to smell like pure man and my lips literally ached to kiss him.

I chanced looking into his eyes and I had to fight the urge even harder, an urge I'd been fighting for three weeks. It was too easy with Nathan.

If there was one thing I had learned from a failed marriage it was that nothing is easy and if it seems easy then it's probably not real. I couldn't chance losing Nathan as a friend again. Even if we weren't the friends we had been before, we were at least friends and kissing complicated things. The things that kissing usually led to complicated things. I couldn't allow myself to go there.

"I know that look." Nathan said simply as he stood up, breaking our eye contact as he reached for his phone, "You'll give in eventually."

My mouth fell open. He dialed a number into his phone without another word leaving me to ponder if he really knew what I had been thinking when I was staring at him or if he was just teasing me. Knowing the way he used to be able to read my thoughts, I guessed he probably really knew what I had been thinking.

I didn't have too much time to contemplate it. My cell phone began to ring and it took me a few seconds to locate it so that I could answer.

"Hi!" Karen said happily when I finally answered, "How's it going? The kids kill you yet?"

"No, not yet." I chanced a glance over at Nathan but he was slipping out the sliding glass door of our room which led to a patio, "I think Nathan's trying to though."

"Yeah?" Karen sounded like she wanted to ask why but she didn't pry, knowing I probably wouldn't have given her a real answer anyway, "What's up? You guys on your way home?"

"Actually, I think that we might be heading up to LA for a little bit. Jamie asked if he could see his mom so Nathan is calling her now to find out if we can do that. Is that okay? We'd be keeping Lily a little longer."

"Are you sure you're up for that?" Karen sounded worried, "Four kids for two days in a row? Trip to Los Angeles. Seeing Haley again? You guys still have unresolved issues?"

"Haley and I? No, not really. I mean… we're not exactly friends but we're not enemies. I disapprove of the lack of parenting she gives Jamie but she doesn't know that and even I knew next to nothing about it until just a few minutes ago. All I knew was that I've been back in Tree Hill for three weeks and Haley hasn't called once to talk to Jamie. That alone was enough for me to realize there was something wrong with this situation."

"I think it's complicated." Karen, ever the mediator, said, "I know you'll handle everything fine. You're a strong girl."

"Thanks Karen." I sighed, unsure if I was as strong as she thought. Some days I felt like the tiniest thing could break me for good. Other days I felt like the old me, the one who could take on the world. I liked those days but I wasn't sure if today was one of them.

"So, tell me about the zoo. How'd the kids do?"

I spent the next ten minutes or so telling Karen about the zoo the day before, watching Nathan pace on the patio as he talked animatedly on the phone. He didn't look upset but he didn't look like the conversation was going smoothly either. If Haley turned down the opportunity to spend time with Jamie, sweet, innocent, amazing Jamie, she was stupid. I would have killed to have the opportunity to spend time with my daughter and here she was just wasting time, not making sure she took the time to know her son.

"Well, if you guys do decide to go see Haley just let me know. I trust you with Lily completely so…"

"Hold on Karen. Nathan's coming back inside."

I watched Nathan open and close the sliding glass door, tossing his phone onto the bed and growling as if to get some of his frustration out. He ran both his hands through his hair and then looked directly at me.

"Are we going to LA?" I asked him innocently, unsure of which answer I wanted to hear.

"Yeah." Nathan nodded, almost as if he was unsure of which answer he wanted to give me, "I'll get the kids rounded up."

"Alright Karen, so I guess we are going to Los Angeles. I will call you just before we fly back okay?"

"Okay. Be safe and if things get crazy, just remember that you ARE strong, and so is Nathan and the two of you together can handle anything. I have faith in you."

"Thanks Karen." Her words touched me to my very core and once again I felt like I wanted to cry but was disappointed by the lack of tears, "Talk to you later."

I hung up the phone and followed the path Nathan had taken out to the other room where the kids had turned off the TV and were helping to straighten up the hotel room a bit.

"I'll need to call Peyton and let her know." I said to Nathan softly as he moved to stand next to me and watch the kids clean up, "That was Karen on the phone so she's okay with it."

"Okay." Nathan nodded, his mood clearly having gone from happy and carefree Nathan just thirty minutes ago to a worried and anxious father.

"Hey." Instinctively I turned to him and reached up, placing one hand on each of his cheeks, forcing him to look me in the eyes, "Everything is going to be okay. We'll get through this."

Where the confidence had come from, I couldn't have told you but everything in me said I had to assure Nathan. That he needed me to assure him that things would be fine.

"Thank you." Nathan managed a small smile and let his forehead come to rest against mine, "I'm so glad I have you again."

Our connection grew and my hands found their way to the back of his neck, entwining themselves there. His hands hit my waist and I inhaled sharply, knowing the next step was to give in. Give in to the urges running through me, and apparently through him as well. We were going to kiss for the first time in five years.

"Eww! Aunt Savannah, are you gonna kiss Uncle Nathan?" Sienna squealed and the moment was broken.

All four sets of young eyes were on us. Nathan's hands had fallen away from my waist. My arms fell back to my side.

"No." I stuck my tongue out at Sienna trying to play of the incredibly awkward moment, "Boys have cooties. We don't kiss them."

The girls giggled and Jamie crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at me.

"That's not true. We don't have cooties and you kiss me goodnight all the time."

"Well that's different Jamie." I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Jamie's cheek just as I did whenever I tucked him into bed, "You're my prince."

"Alright kids, let's get everything together so we can check out of the hotel room, get some breakfast and then start the very long drive to Los Angeles huh?" Nathan took charge and within an hour we had them rounded up, in the car, and we were headed off to find somewhere we could have breakfast.

"I'd like to get clothes to change into. This whole wearing the same clothes for two days thing is not my idea of fun." I said after we had picked up breakfast from McDonald's, "Think anything's open this time of morning."

Nathan looked at the clock. 8:00 am.

"Not the type of clothing stores you shop at. Wal-Mart maybe." He replied.

"Okay, fine. We'll get clothes once we get to LA. They have a better selection anyway." I smiled and then frowned, "Oh my gosh, I'm a snob aren't I?"

"A little." Nathan shrugged and grinned at me, our sense of normalcy returning after that almost kiss in the hotel room, "Then again, I'm rich now so I guess I should start dressing a little better too huh?"

"You're rich Uncle Nathan?" Lily asked, "What's that mean?"

"It means that I have more money than I know what to do with." Nathan replied as he snuck a peek at Lily in the rearview mirror.

"I like money." Lily said simply, "It's very nice cause it's green and my favorite color is green."

Nathan and I exchanged looks as we began to laugh.

"Well then we need to find you something green to wear today don't we?" I asked her, turning to look at her.

"I'd like that." Lily nodded and I smiled at her.

"Okay, we will do that then."

With traffic it took about 3 hours to get to Los Angeles, a drive that should have only taken 2 at most. When we finally pulled into the city I sighed in relief.

"Thank God!" I exclaimed, "I thought we were never going to get here!"

All four of the kids had dozed off in their car seats as I chanced a look back at them.

"Can we stop before we go to Haley's so that I can get us some clothes? I desperately need to change."

Nathan nodded, his nervousness from earlier clearly returning.

"Hey." I put my hand on his shoulder and he glanced over at me, only taking his eyes off the road for a second, "I told you. Everything's going to be okay."

"I just don't want Jamie to be upset you know? It seems like every time he spends time with her he comes home disappointed. I don't want it to be like that."

I nodded. His words made me long to be able to rewind time, choosing to stay a part of his life after Haley got pregnant, instead of run away like a wounded animal. There were a lot of "what if's" running through my head and so many of them had to do with Nathan, Jamie, and me.

"Ooh, exit Sunset off the 101 and we'll go to the Hollywood & Highland Center. They have Gap there and it'll be a one stop shop. Clothes for you, me, & the kids in once place."

Nathan smiled and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am."

It only took us about 10 minutes from the time we exited off the freeway to get to the shopping center so we parked in the parking garage and then unloaded the kids one by one.

"Where are we?" Jamie asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Sienna stretched and yawned, taking in her surroundings with Lily by her side. I pulled Eli from his seat last and instead of waking up he just wrapped his arms around my neck, laid his head on my shoulder and fell back asleep.

"You want me to carry him?" Nathan asked as he closed and locked up the car, "I know he's heavy."

"He is but I got him for now. It's kind of nice feeling this loved and trusted. He trusts me enough to just hold him while he sleeps."

Nathan smiled as he grabbed Jamie and Lily's hands, making Sienna grab Lily's other hand for safety. Walking through a parking lot with three young kids walking around you could be dangerous.

"Are we getting new clothes?" Sienna asked, her personality returning as we jumped into the elevator which would take us to our floor.

"Yep." I replied quickly, showing Lily which button to press, "All of us and then we are going to Jamie's moms house and…"

"We're gonna go see Aunt Haley?" Lily perked up quickly, "Awesome! We get to see Jenny!"

Sienna and Lily started jumping up and down together.

"Not in the elevator children!" I scolded them but I couldn't help but laugh. They were suddenly very excited.

The elevator brought us out near the Gap superstore which would contain all the clothing we would need so we had to walk just a short way until we were at our destination.

"You wanna take the boys and I take the girls or should we do this all together?" I asked Nathan as we entered the store.

"Um…" Nathan looked around, watching Sienna and Lily already squealing over clothes, "I'll take the boys. They're easy."

I laughed and handed over Eli who was still sleeping.

"If we can't find each other, call."

With a game plan settled on, I grabbed Sienna and Lily's hands then headed for the girls clothing section.

"Ooh, can we get bathing suits!" The first thing Sienna and Lily saw were the normal summer beach clothing and I laughed.

"I don't think you need them." I replied quickly and then I remembered the last time I had visited Haley. We spent most of the day in the pool, although, now that I thought about it, I didn't even know where Haley lived anymore, "Okay, fine. Pick one out."

Sienna picked out a blue and white 'tankini' set while Lily picked out a red and white floral halter one piece. After finding their sizes we moved on to real clothing.

"Look! These match my bathing suit!" Lily found red and white shorts which were in exactly the same pattern as her bathing suit, "Aunt Savannah!"

The other patrons in the store turned and smiled at me, apparently glad to see such exuberance. That, or they were annoyed that she was yelling.

"Indoor voice Lily." I quoted a line my nanny had irritated me with when I was younger, "Let's see if they have your size. Wait, I thought you wanted green clothes today."

"I love green Aunt Savannah but I have a sense of fashion. Green and red only go together at Christmas and I am NOT putting back that bathing suit."

Her self assuredness made me laugh. Lucky for her they did have her size so she got to get them. Sienna wasn't quite as lucky but she found some white Bermuda shorts we both agreed on and then moved on to find shirts for the both of them.

The first thing Lily ran for was the tank top that exactly matched her shorts and bathing suit.

"That's a little too much pattern I think Lily. Let's try something solid huh? Plain white?"

Lily pouted.

"I like this one." Sienna grabbed a white halter top that had just a small graphic of the same print from Lily's bathing suit, "What about this Lily?"

Lily admired it for a minute and then nodded handing it to me.

"I like it." She said and I smiled at her.

"What about for you Sienna?"

Sienna mulled over her choices for awhile as if she was positive the second she chose something she was going to find something better and not be able to take back her first choice. After a good 15 minutes of indecision she finally settled on a blue and white striped tank and I sighed in relief.

"Just in case it gets colder later I want you both to have a jacket so…" I looked over the jacket choices, immediately finding Lily's. One that matched the rest of her outfit. It was all white with the red embroidery. As usual, Sienna's was a little harder but eventually she and I agreed on a plain blue hoodie which matched her shirt and bathing suit so we were all happy.

"We need shoes to match!" Sienna exclaimed when she realized the pink ballet slippers she had on wouldn't match her new outfit.

I groaned, wondering if Nathan was having this much trouble, instantly deciding it couldn't be possible.

"You're right, you do." I agreed begrudgingly heading towards the shoes with the two girls in tow.

It must have been my lucky day though because the girls took less than five minutes to each pick out a pair of jelly sandals that would match their respective outfits. After trying them on quickly to make sure they fit, their outfits were complete and I could finally move on to picking something out for me.

"This is pretty!" Sienna showed me a bathing suit she thought I should get.

"I'm not getting a bathing suit Sienna." I replied, motioning for her to put it back.

"But we got them and what if you decide you want to go swimming. Then what?"

"Then… I don't know. I just won't." I couldn't believe I was arguing with a five year old.

"Just get it. It's pretty." Sienna argued back.

With my modeling contract to Victoria's Secret I had over the years modeled and gotten to keep plenty of swimwear, all of it cuter than the suit Sienna was holding up but I finally caved.

"I don't like that one. Let's pick something else."

After 20 minutes of shopping for me, I had picked out a pink ruffled bikini, pink jersey skirt to slip over it and a pink and white striped v neck tee. I grabbed a white cardigan to throw on if I got cold and then the three of us went off in search of Nathan.

"You didn't get shoes." Lily pointed out as we walked, my arms overloaded with clothing.

"Mine match. See." I let her take a good look at the white flip flops I already had on, "Good to go."

We found the boys putting the final touches on Nathan's outfit which consisted of casual khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt. He had picked similar khaki cargo shorts for each of the boys and cute graphic tees to match. Eli's had a guitar on it and Jamie's said "I'm with the band." He had not however picked up swim wear or underwear as I had for the girls so I left him in line with all four kids and the clothing while I ran to grab those things for the boys.

When I returned he was ready to check out.

"What an adorable family." The cashier cooed at Eli who was still kind of sleepy, clinging to Nathan.

"Thanks." Nathan didn't bother to explain that only one was his and none belonged to me. He instead just winked at me and accepted the compliment graciously.

"Alright that will be $354.87."

I reached for my purse but Nathan shook his head, pulling his wallet out instead and handing the cashier his credit card before I could. I had gone so many years taking care of the people around me, whatever the cost, it was almost surreal for him to be paying for something instead. It was kind of hard on me to let him, as crazy as that sounded even in my own head.

"Alright, everyone carries a bag." Nathan handed a small bag to each child as the cashier had knowingly separated each kids clothes into individual bags, "Off we go."

Once the kids were settled back in the car and we had pulled out of the parking garage, it was already noon and I was starving again. I had no idea how long we were going to be staying at Haley's house but I hoped it was either a short visit or she had food.

"I'm hungry." Jamie echoed my thoughts, "Will mommy have food?"

"I'm sure she will for you buddy." Nathan responded quickly.

We headed up into the Hollywood hills and much to my surprise we ended up pulling into the driveway of the same house I had visited so many years ago.

"They still live here?" I asked.

"Yeah." Nathan nodded and got out of the car, "It's big enough for everyone so why move?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I just figured when her celebrity status grew she would find a more secure house." There was no security around the house, no gate shielding her from the outside.

"It's secure enough." Nathan smiled at me, "Come on."

We unloaded the kids for what already seemed like the millionth time that day and headed up to the front door.

"I get to ring the doorbell." Jamie bounced excitedly as we heard the doorbell chime to the inside of the house, "I'm really excited."

"I see that."

The door swung open and for the first time in years, I was once again face to face with Haley James-Scott… well, just Haley James. She had dropped the Scott when her and Nathan had divorced.

"Hi!" Haley greeted us enthusiastically, just like the happy go lucky girl I remembered from high school.

"Mommy!" Jamie jumped into her arms and she caught him just as enthusiastically, pulling him into the foyer of the house and swinging him around.

"Oh I missed you my boy!" She declared, placing kisses all over his face, "I'm so glad you came to see me!"

It was almost as if we were forgotten for a few moments as Haley looked over Jamie. She looked at him like she was memorizing every inch of him, as though she wanted to make sure she still recognized her own son.

"You've grown so much." Haley squeezed him one more time and then finally remembered we were standing in the doorway, "Come on in guys! Look at how big you've all gotten! Lily and Sienna and Eli!"

Lily and Sienna ran for hugs but Eli, who must not have recognized her, clung to me for his life.

"And you…" Haley raised an eyebrow at me but it was playful, "It has been way too long Savannah. Like two years?"

"Almost." I replied with a shrug, "Jamie's 2nd birthday party."

"That's right!" Haley nodded quickly, "That was the last time I saw you. Give me a hug."

Haley and I hugged, leaving the tenseness behind. I had wanted the two of us to be friends at one time and the way she hugged me almost felt like we were.

"And one from you." Haley reached up to hug Nathan and ran directly into all the bags of clothes we had just bought, "What's all this?"

"It's a long story." Nathan said with a nervous laugh, "Basically we are wearing our clothes from yesterday because we expected to be back in Tree Hill last night and then plans changed so we stopped just now to get fresh clothes. We're kind of all gross."

Haley laughed.

"Well come in then. I'll show you where the showers are that you can use and everyone can get freshened up a bit. Jake and Jenny just left to pick up some food for lunch since I figured everyone would be hungry…"

"We're starved." Jamie made a face and patted his stomach as if we hadn't fed him in days.

Haley laughed and pulled him to her side again.

"I missed you so much baby."

"Mom!" Jamie pushed away a little, "I'm not a baby."

"Oh, I'm sorry. My big strong growing man." Haley ruffled his hair a bit and then sighed, "So, let's show you where those showers are huh?"

The way Haley stared at Jamie it certainly seemed as if she loved him. It seemed like she would have moved heaven and earth to be with him. It seemed as though she couldn't stand to be away from him but everything that Nathan had told me, which was limited at best, and the fact that she hadn't called to check on him in at least three weeks just didn't seem to add up to a caring mother in my head. I was confused to say the least.

"Aunt Haley, can we go swimming?" Sienna asked sweetly before we headed off to take showers, "I got a really cute bathing suit."

Haley laughed.

"Of course you can sweetheart. How about…" Haley seemed to ponder the plan of action for a second, "Jamie, why don't you take Sienna and Lily to Jenny's room so they can change into their bathing suits in there. You go change in your room and then the three of you meet me out back so you can go swimming okay?"

"Okay." Jamie readily agreed, "Come on. You're gonna love Jenny's room."

The three of them raced off up the staircase which left only Haley, Nathan, Eli, and me. Awkward silence fell over us.

"So… do you guys wanna go swimming?" Haley asked, "I remember the last time we were all together here and we spent the entire afternoon in the pool… in our clothes."

Nathan and I nodded, remembering with her.

"We could go swimming." I volunteered us, "We both have suits and so does Eli so… maybe we should do that and then shower otherwise we're gonna have to shower twice."

I looked over at Nathan who silently agreed. He didn't even need to nod. I could see the answer in his eyes and an unexpected bubble of happiness floated up into me just because it seemed we were making progress when I could once again read his thoughts through his eyes.

"I'll show you guys where you can change. Come on." Haley led us upstairs and left us both in one guest room, "I'll see you guys back downstairs."

"Apparently she thinks we're sleeping together because she gave us one room for all of us to change in." I laughed, watching the door close behind Nathan and I as I set Eli down on the bed.

"Not like we haven't seen each other naked before." Nathan replied with an almost seductive grin, "You first."

"Stop it." I rolled my eyes at him, "You ready to get your bathing suit on Eli?"

Eli nodded and pulled his shirt off happily.

"Ooh, there's my hunky boy!" I tickled him and he laughed happily. I pulled his shoes and pants off while he pulled all the clothes from the bag next to him.

It only took a few minutes to dress him and by that time, without me realizing it, Nathan had also changed. He smiled at me when he sat on the bed and scooped Eli up into his lap, covering my nephew's eyes.

"Your turn."

"Get out of here." I tossed a pillow at him, careful not to hit Eli as I did, "I'll see you downstairs."

"Fine." Nathan sighed, "And I was so looking forward to the show."

"Jerk." I retorted as he stood and headed out of the room.

"You owe me a kiss from this morning." He said resolutely just before he left the room, "You wanted to kiss me and I know it."

I had no time to argue as he shut the door behind him leaving me speechless.

I "owe" him a kiss? What the hell? My mind was racing. That kiss would have been a bad idea in the first place but now he was expecting it? Oh man…

I was just beginning to pull my shirt over my head to change when the door to the bedroom swung open and closed again. Before I could react I was in Nathan's arms and his lips were pressed against mine. This time there were no children around to spoil the moment and although my brain wanted to interfere, I wouldn't allow it. This just felt too right.


	7. Chapter 7: The Talk

**_Author's Note: I am on a roll ya'll! Another chapter, yay! :) I have to thank my new BETA who is amazing! She helped me with this chapter and will be helping me with all future chapters and I am totally stoked! Super excited! EEK! Thanks to TeamBrathanbaby23, Long Live BRUCAS, my2krazies and music-is-love10 for reviewing the last chapter! I'm just so happy to be writing again and to finally have a beta is like the coolest thing ever! So yeah, enjoy :)_**

**Chapter Seven**

**The Talk**

**Nathan POV**

This was exactly where I wanted to be, and had wanted to be, for a very long time. Savannah in my arms, her lips pressed against mine. Not that I had expected our first kiss in five years to be in my ex-wife's house, but anywhere would do. As long as the kiss was really happening.

"Nathan…" Savannah pulled away from me, breathing hard as she appeared to be trying to catch her breath, "What are we doing?"

"Kissing." I smiled at her, trying to play it cool as if inside I wasn't screaming "YES!" like a little school girl.

"No, Nathan!" Savannah groaned, "We can't do this. We…"

"We what?" I looked straight into her eyes waiting for the third rate excuse she was going to use for why we couldn't be kissing.

"We just can't do this!" She exclaimed, "You, me, us. We were over a long time ago, before we really even started okay? And a lot has happened in the past five years. Things that changed me. Things that changed you."

"I haven't changed." I frowned at her, "I'm still Nathan Scott. I am still the same person who was your best friend five years ago. I am still the man you fell in love with and yes, I know that you loved me back then. I know that you were IN love with me back then and I was with you too okay? I admit it and I fucked it up. I got Haley pregnant. I hurt you. I can't take any of that back. I can apologize but Savannah, if all of that hadn't happened I wouldn't have Jamie, and you can't honestly expect me to apologize for the one screw up in my life that resulted in the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Her expression changed from one of confusion and surprise to one of acceptance. She sighed and nodded, never breaking the eye contact.

"I don't want to have this conversation here." She said softly, running her hand down the side of my face, "Can we… talk at home? Later?"

"You're actually going to talk to me?" I smiled because that was exactly what I had been asking her to do for three weeks now, "You promise?"

"I promise." She nodded slowly, "I won't run away from you this time. We'll talk."

I couldn't help but envelope her in a hug and hold her tight against my body.

"Just so we're clear Savannah… I never stopped loving you." I hadn't intended to pour my heart out to her when I came in here to kiss her, but here we were, and so far all out honesty had worked in my favor, "You're my best friend and the only woman in the world I want to be with."

I thought I felt her shake as if she was crying but when I pulled away and looked in her eyes there were no tears. There was a sadness in her eyes, which I wanted to be able to take away.

"Get out of here so I can change." She shooed me away with a playful smile, "I'll see you downstairs in a few."

Outside of the bedroom door I took a few minutes to silently rejoice at the small victory. If I had known that kissing her would get her to talk to me, I would have done it three weeks ago. I just wondered if she would talk to me about everything or if she would still hold me slightly at bay.

"So… how's it feel?" Haley asked me when I joined her outside watching the kids play in the pool, "Back in Tree Hill?"

"Being back in Tree Hill is great. It feels like home." I told her, "Being at Duke and then in Atlanta… it just wasn't the same."

Haley nodded her agreement.

"I miss home. Tree Hill. Friends. Family… it's not the same out here." She said and then turned to look at me, "Thank you for calling me by the way. Giving me a chance to see Jamie. I know I don't exactly deserve it."

"I just don't understand it Haley. I've never understood and you know that. Why not just make a real custody agreement? He can spend every other holiday or something with you. He's not in school yet so we could alternate months or something. I mean… we could work something out. He misses you!"

"Well, he won't have to for very much longer." Haley sighed, "I'm moving back to Tree Hill."

"What?" That was absolutely the last thing I had expected to come out of her mouth, "When? Why? Can you do that?"

"My contract was for three albums which I gave the record label and they want to sign me to another one but I don't think I want to. I want to go home. Maybe I'll teach or… I don't know. Something that allows me to raise my kids and have fun and be with my friends and my family. I'm so over this town and the music business. I love performing but when it's a job, the love leaves it. The passion is a requirement and then what's the point? I want to sing because the songs mean something to me. This whole fame thing is very overrated."

"And how does Jake feel about this? He's still signed to a label too isn't he?"

"Yeah." I saw Haley sniffle as if she was holding back tears, "I think we're gonna get a divorce. Things aren't going so well lately."

"Alright, I am ready to swim!" Savannah came charging out of the house and I almost choked on my own saliva when I saw her, heading towards us in just her tiny bikini, "You two getting in?"

"I am going to go make some lemonade for everyone." Haley plastered a smile onto her face, the sniffles from our conversation disappearing, "You guys get in. I'll be back."

When Haley was out of ear shot Savannah raised an eyebrow at me.

"Everything okay? She looked upset."

"She just told me her and Jake are getting a divorce."

Savannah's mouth dropped open. She stuttered a response for a second and then we were interrupted.

"Come on Aunt Savannah! Get in the pool!" Sienna called out.

Savannah hesitated, clearly wanting to continue the conversation with me but she caved looking at the kid's faces begging her to get in the pool with them.

"Clearly we are going to need to add that to the conversation later too." She hissed and shook her head before turning around, "Alright guys! I'm coming in!"

She jumped into the pool and all the kids cheered happily, immediately flocking to her so she could play games with them.

Although I too was dressed to swim, there were a lot of things running through my head. Haley and Jake's divorce. The kiss with Savannah. The talk with Savannah. Haley moving back to Tree Hill. That was a lot to process in just a few short minutes.

"Hey!"

I turned quickly at the sound of Jake's voice and smiled as he came out into the back yard.

"What's up?" He tossed me a beer and shook my hand in greeting, "It's been what? Three months? Four months?"

"Yeah, awhile." I replied, opening the beer and taking a long swig, "It's been crazy man."

"I can see that. Hi Savannah!"

"Jake!" Savannah waved happily as she carried Eli around the pool.

"Uncle Jake! Where's Jenny?" Lily called out.

"She's changing into her bathing suit." Jake replied with a grin, "How you doing girls? Enjoying the California sunshine?"

"We went to the zoo yesterday!" Sienna announced, "And we saw polar bears!"

"That's awesome!" Jake responded happily.

"And koala bears!" Jamie added jumping out of the pool and running over to us, "And alligators and kangaroos."

"Really? That sounds like a lot of fun. How's the coolest step son in the world doing?"

"I'm cool." Jamie shrugged as if he were too cool to give a real answer to the question, "Just chillin'."

Jake and I laughed.

"Well how about you just chill in the pool huh? You're dripping all over the place." Jake replied, still laughing as he shook out the water Jamie had already dripped all over his shoes.

Jamie giggled happily and then ran back to the pool, jumping in like Savannah had and then swimming back over to where the girls were playing with pool toys.

"So, how's life?" Jake led me over to a nearby table so we could sit and talk, "Being back in Tree Hill must be weird."

"It's good actually. Jamie's settling in nicely. We're living with Savannah right now cause we haven't found a place of our own but we've just been chillin' man. We go to the park or the beach. Play ball at the river court with Lucas when he isn't working, not that I can really play that much anymore."

"How's the knee?" Jake peered over at my scarred knee and I shrugged.

"Some days are better than others. Now that we're settling back in Tree Hill I gotta start physical therapy again to make sure everything's healing the right way. It'll never be like it was but I'm sort of okay with that finally. It was hard at first because I lost basketball but now, I don't know…" My eyes settled on Savannah in the pool laughing happily with all the kids as Jenny ran to jump in with them, "I'm good. How are things with you? Life? Career?"

"Um…" Jake took a deep breath, "I'd like to say they're as good as your life seems to be going these days but uh, things aren't so great. Haley and I are both tired of being in the spotlight. I guess some singers are cut out to be followed around by paparazzi, hounded for autographs, have their faces on magazines all the time but we're not those people you know? It's always been about the music for us and somewhere I guess that just got lost a little bit out here. It's not about the music anymore so, I think Haley wants to move back to Tree Hill. I still have one more album in my contract so I can't really get out of it right now. We fight a lot about that. She wants to go. I have to stay."

The beer in Jake's hand was disappearing steadily as Jake drank more and more of it as he spoke.

"We're probably going to get a divorce." He said simply, as if it was just another decision to make, not a life altering change, "She'll go back to Tree Hill with Jessie and I'll stay here with Jenny."

In my mind Jake's head had gone from normal to one of those large green alien heads you see in movies because the words coming from his mouth weren't making sense. This was the same guy who fought so hard to keep his daughter when we were in high school that he dropped out of high school and chased her across the country. I couldn't imagine him just being fine with Haley moving across the country and taking Jessie with her.

"You're looking at me like I'm crazy." Jake was smiling at me, "You think I'm crazy right? To let Haley take Jessie and not fight for my marriage? Fight to keep my family together?"

"I don't know if I'm one to give advice on that Jake." I sighed, "I didn't fight for my marriage. Of course, Haley didn't give me much of a choice, but when it came down to it we could have gotten back together when she got pregnant with Jamie we just… didn't. I know how it feels to just resign yourself to something and let it happen because it's easier."

"I'm just tired of fighting WITH her. All the fight in me went into that. I have none left to fight FOR her." Jake groaned, "Dude, I'm sorry. You're on vacation and here I am dumping my issues with your ex-wife on you. I should be toasting you instead. We will both be in the 'Haley James ex-husband club' pretty soon. The only two members. We should start regular weekly meetings."

He laughed at his own joke and downed the last of his beer. I hadn't even finished half of mine but I assumed he was trying to drown some of his problems. I felt bad for him.

"Hey party girl, you want a margarita?" Jake called out to Savannah as he headed for the outdoor bar, "I'll make those ones I made last time you were here. You loved those things."

I tensed for a minute, knowing that alcohol was Savannah's vice. It was why she had ended up in rehab. I wasn't sure what she was going to say to Jake.

"No thank you." She replied with a smile, "I gave up alcohol a couple months ago."

"Gave it up?" Jake's eyebrows raised at her, "Why?"

"Because I had become an alcoholic." She replied honestly.

"Alcoholic is the name they give people who have too much fun when they're drinking. It's not real." Jake said to her.

"If that's what you want to believe." Savannah laughed, "The last person who said that to me was in rehab."

Jake stopped in his tracks, mid-mix of his drink. I turned to see Haley standing in the doorway to the house, holding Jessie on one arm and a pitcher of lemonade in the other hand. She was glaring at Jake and I could immediately see that the divorce was not just over the fight about moving back to Tree Hill. There was so much more to it then that.

"Hey guys!" Haley again plastered that smile on her face which would have seemed real to anyone other than those who knew her well, "You want to eat now?"

"I'm so hungry!" Jamie was the first one out of the pool, "What's cookin' momma?"

Haley laughed at him.

"There is chicken in the house. Jake! Can you bring the chicken outside?"

"I'll get it." I volunteered before Jake could respond.

Haley smiled at me gratefully and I headed into the house, finding the chicken sitting on the counter on two different platters. It was clearly from KFC but laid out on platters the way Haley had arranged it, it looked gourmet.

"Alright, fried chicken coming right up!" I carried the platters to the picnic tables where all the kids were sitting.

"One is extra crispy and the other is original." Haley told them as she buckled Jessie into her high chair, "Make sure you use plates and napkins."

"You gonna eat?" I asked Savannah who was standing to the side, watching Haley dote on the kids sitting at the table.

"Yeah, in a minute." She smiled over at me, "This was a good idea."

"Yeah…" I agreed with her, "Jamie uses his brains sometimes. He's Haley's kid so we knew he had them in there somewhere."

She laughed. "For what it's worth, I think you're wrong about Haley."

I frowned, unsure of what she meant.

"I think she doesn't bring Jamie here more because of Jake." Savannah looked over at Jake who was standing at the bar, also watching Haley dote on the kids but with a completely different expression than the one which expressed admiration like Savannah had, "As a recovering alcoholic myself, I know an alcoholic when I see one. He needs help."

"I don't get it." I said, "He was the BEST dad before. He… Haley cheated on him with me when she got pregnant with Jamie and he still married her. He's a good guy. What happened to him?"

"Los Angeles treats people in different ways." Savannah squeezed my arm reassuringly, "He just got lost here somewhere. He'll find his way back."

"Momma, can I stay with you for a little while?" Jamie asked when we were all settled at the table eating together a little while later.

"Um… I don't know Jamie." Haley looked over at me, "Don't you need to help your daddy while you guys get settled in Tree Hill?"

"No." Jamie answered without consulting me, "He has Savannah to help him plus, we didn't take a lot with us so… we're pretty much settled. So can I stay?"

"Of course you can Jamie." Jake said. Both Haley and I stared over at him in surprise, "If your dad says it okay you are welcome to stay with us for awhile. I bet your sisters will be very happy to have you here."

"You can come to my dance class with me if you want." Jenny volunteered, "It's hard but there's boys who go too. You'll have fun."

"It's a little more complicated than that." Haley laughed nervously, eyeing Jake with a look that told him to shut up, "There's a lot going on around here right now Jamie. I just don't know if it would be a good idea."

"Haley." Jake clearly hadn't gotten the message Haley had sent him, "Let the boy stay for a little while. You never spend any time with him and he misses you. Besides, you have the next three weeks free. Weren't you just planning on spending time with the girls anyway?"

"Actually, no." Haley snapped at him and all the kids got quiet, realizing suddenly that this was not just a casual argument, "I was planning on spending the next three weeks filing my divorce papers you ass!"

All the kids gasped.

"Mommy, you said a bad word." Jamie said quietly.

"I'm sorry sweetie." Haley let a single tear fall down her cheek but she quickly wiped it away before wrapping an arm around Jamie and squeezing him, "You can stay if you want okay? We'll spend a lot of time together. We'll go to the beach and go shopping and then in a few weeks you can help me move to Tree Hill okay?"

"You're moving to Tree Hill?" Jamie's eyes got wide with excitement, "For real?"

"For real." Haley smiled at him and then tossed a quick glare at Jake who was sitting very quietly, watching the interaction closely, "So you stay and help me okay?"

"Okay." Jamie grinned widely and turned to me, "Is that okay daddy?"

I was torn. On one hand the extra time with Haley would be good for him. Having him here with her would probably help her through the rough time ahead. Having him around when I had injured my knee had helped heal both the physical and emotional wounds I had suffered. He was amazing at just being there for you when you needed him, even though he was only 3. Almost 4, I added in my thoughts, just because I knew he would have reminded me if I had said his age out loud.

On the other hand, I didn't want him around the fighting and arguing that was bound to ensue between Haley and Jake. It certainly didn't seem like their marriage was going to end amicably. She glared at him like she hated everything about him, a far cry from the looks of love they used to share just a few short months ago.

"Jenny, you okay?" Savannah's question interrupted my thoughts and I looked over at Jenny who had her face buried in her hands.

Jenny shook her head no but didn't show her face or speak.

"Jenny…" Jake was immediately at her side and I had a flash of the guy he had once been. The amazing father; the loving husband, "What's wrong baby?"

She revealed her face and looked over at him, tears rolling down her face.

"My friend Sam said that her parents got a divorce and now she only sees her dad once a month." Jenny sobbed, "I don't wanna only see you once a month."

"Oh baby…" Jake pulled her into his arms and I glanced over at Haley to see her reaction.

Haley was crying harder now. She was still clutching Jamie to her side.

"That is never going to happen. I will always be there for you okay?"

"But you and mommy…"

Savannah elbowed me and it occurred to me that she didn't realize Jenny considered Haley her mom.

"Haley and I will do what's best for you and your sister okay?" Jake gulped, clearly unsure how to explain what was happening to his 7 year old daughter, "We wouldn't ever purposely do anything to hurt you."

Everyone except for baby Jessie was quiet for the next few minutes. The only sounds were Jenny and Haley's sniffles until Eli suddenly spoke up.

"A' done!" He exclaimed tossing his plate into the air happily, the uneaten pieces of checking Savannah had pulled off the bone for him went flying and he grinned, indicating he had finished lunch.

Everyone immediately burst into laughter, Eli providing just the amount of comic relief everyone needed.

"I'll clean that up." Savannah laughed, standing to begin gathering chicken pieces from the floor.

"No, stop." Haley laughed with her, "Birds or other wild animals will eat it. Just leave it on the floor."

"Are you sure?" Savannah grinned, "I don't mind."

"It's fine." Haley looked over at Jake and sighed, mouthing something to him that I couldn't make out.

Jake nodded, leaning down to kiss Jenny's head and then returning to his own chair and settling back in. Whatever she had mouthed to him must have done the trick because the rest of lunch sailed smoothly.

"So do I get to stay?" Jamie asked when we were all finishing our food.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah kiddo, you can stay. Just a couple weeks or until your mom moves back to Tree Hill okay? Whichever comes first."

"Okay." Jamie readily agreed to my terms, "I get to stay momma."

"Yes you do." Haley grinned at him and kissed his forehead, "We'll do all kinds of fun stuff, I promise."

"Cool."

After we had all finished eating, the kids ran around the yard for a couple hours, drying their bathing suits in the summer sun while Haley and Savannah sat in lounge chairs watching them. Jake and I stood off to the other side of the lawn and watched them as well.

"Sorry for the drama." Jake apologized quietly, "She's right. I've been an ass."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. I had sort of been thrust into this whole situation just by arriving today and I wasn't at all acquainted with the polite things to say when your ex-wife's current husband calls himself an ass.

"I just don't get it Jake." I told him honestly, "The drinking? The looks you two give each other? The fighting? I don't get it. You're not the Jake I know man. The Jake I know loves his wife, and his kids. You never even drank! One beer every once in awhile maybe but this?"

I pointed around the yard where there were at least 5 empty beer bottles of his.

"Honestly, I have no idea when this happened." Jake groaned, looking around at all his mess, "I do love her. I… I don't want a divorce. I want to stay together and raise Jessie and Jenny together, occasionally Jamie. I want to move back to Tree Hill and get my life back together and it just seems like every second I spend in this damn town takes me farther and farther away from the person I want to be. We fight all the time! I can't do anything right anymore. We don't have sex. She… I think she hates me and honestly, I don't blame her."

There were two things I could say in response. One was what I would have said to anyone other than Jake. One was the truth.

"Then get your shit together and make it work. You have about ten seconds before you lose her for good. Either fight for her or let her go."

I let my words sink into Jake for a second and then walked away without another word.

"Hey Savannah! It's getting late, we should probably get going!"

Savannah turned and shaded her eyes from the sun, smiling at me and nodding.

"Sienna, Lily and Eli! Come on guys! Start saying goodbye!"

I moved to stand next to Haley as we watched Savannah gather up the kids and lead them inside so they could change into their actual clothes.

"So, I'll call in like a week and see what's up okay?" I asked her, smiling as Jamie rolled around in the grass with Jessie and Jenny, "Don't give up on Jake so easily okay? He loves you."

Haley wiped a tear off her cheek and nodded.

"I promise to take good care of Jamie. I know you think I'm a bad mother to him but I wanna work on it."

I pulled Haley into a hug and sighed.

"Hales, you're not a bad mother to him. You're dealing with everything the best you can and I know that. Just promise me you'll try to work this out with Jake okay? If he quits drinking, do you think you can forgive him for whatever it is he's done?"

Her bottom lip quivered as she stared up at me and nodded.

"Good. Then that's a start and if it has anything to do with this contract he's in… there's one thing I know about contracts for sure and it's very important okay?" I made Haley stare me straight in the eyes, "They can be bought out. I think you and Jake need Tree Hill so make it happen."

"Thank you." She managed a weak smile, "For giving me Jamie and being patient with me, for attempting to help Jake and I. You don't have to do any of it and I just want you to know I appreciate you."

I shrugged off her compliment and grinned.

"Take care of yourself." I let her go and headed over to Jamie, "Alright kiddo, give me a hug. We're leaving."

Jamie jumped into my arms and I hugged him tight.

"You call me if you want to come home early okay? One word and I will have you on the next plane back to Tree Hill. All it takes is a phone call."

"Okay." Jamie smiled happily and put his finger on my nose, "You behave yourself while I'm gone."

I laughed loudly and kissed his cheek then set him down.

"I mean it." Jamie called out to me as he headed back to playing with Jenny and Jessie.

"I'll see what I can do." I called back to him.

With one last hug to Haley and a pat on the back for Jake I met Savannah inside and together we corralled the three kids we were still responsible for back into our car. She drove this time, leading us to the private airway where she had informed Xander's pilot to meet us. Within an hour we were on the plane back to Tree Hill.

"So that was an interesting trip." Savannah commented when we were alone in the "living room" of the plane. Sienna and Lily were watching a movie together in one of the "bedrooms" and Eli napping again.

"Very interesting." I laughed, pulling her from one side of the couch to the side where I was sitting so I could hold her, "You can tell Jake and Haley were born and raised in Tree Hill from all the drama they cause!"

Savannah laughed loudly, stretching out on the couch, her head resting on my knee with my arm draped over her stomach.

"They are definitely going through some stuff. I couldn't even imagine…"

"What? Your divorce wasn't messy like that? No screaming at each other?"

Savannah frowned.

"My divorce was… well, the divorce itself was fairly smooth. From the time I told him it was over to the time the divorce was granted we didn't speak to each other. It was the months leading up to the divorce that were hard but not because we were fighting really I was just depressed and he was traveling for work a lot."

She put the word "work" in quotation marks and rolled her eyes.

"He was cheating on me. His business trips were not business."

"Idiot." I couldn't understand how Bryan could have had Savannah as his own and yet sleep with someone else. Why bother?

"He is an idiot." She agreed with me, smiling up at me, "Look at me. I'm hot. Who was he going to sleep with that even came close?"

I knew she was joking with me but those had been my exact thoughts.

"Anyway, that chapter of my life is OVER." She said resolutely, "And I think that it's finally time to start a new chapter. Seeing Jake and Haley fight like that just reminds me that life is too short. Spending it scared is a waste. I have nothing to be scared about right?"

"Right." I nodded my agreement.

"So then I am just going to take life by the balls and start living again!" Savannah arched her back and shouted one quick yelp, "God Nathan, this trip was great. It's like something inside me has finally come back to life. Ever since Alex died…"

"Is Alex your daughter?"

Savannah's face fell slightly and she nodded.

"Alexandra Claire."

There were so many questions I wanted to ask her but I didn't want to ruin her newfound happiness.

"You can ask me questions Nate." She read my thoughts just like she used to, "I can handle it."

I hesitated but then forged forward. These were things I needed to know if we were going to rekindle our friendship, and maybe more. I needed to know what had happened in her life.

"Did you get to see her? Before…" It hurt me to even say the words, "Before you had to bury her?"

Savannah nodded, choking out her answer.

"She was just barely bigger than my hand." She held up her hand to illustrate and I couldn't resist placing mine over hers, as if I was protecting her, "About as big as your hand actually and um, she had really dark hair. Even being so small she seemed so perfect you know? Like, ten fingers, ten toes… tiny but perfect. She only weighed 1lb 1oz."

"How long did she live?"

If asking was hard for me, I couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to answer.

"Three days." She took a deep breath and continued, "67 hours, 14 min, and 10 seconds to be exact. There was too much wrong with her. Her lungs were undeveloped. She developed an infection and she just wasn't strong enough to fight it off. She died before Bryan even arrived."

"Wait…" Had she just said what I thought she had said, "She lived for three days and Bryan never saw her?"

The emotion read through her expression and her eyes. The thought alone clearly pained her but no tears fell.

"I told you. He 'worked' a lot and he said he had gone to a conference for work but unless it was in Alaska, there was no way he shouldn't have been able to get home you know?" She took another deep breath, "He said he never got a phone call telling him I was in the hospital but Camille said she called him and he said his plane had been delayed in Chicago but I just don't think I believe him. How can you just not show up for something like that you know?"

I tried to hide it from Savannah but my anger towards Bryan showed in my eyes and I knew it. My jaw clenched, my fist tightened. Had he been there with us he would have been dead. Cheating was one thing but abandoning your wife and child when they needed you was completely something else. Neither was right but one was far worse than the other. As far as I was concerned, Bryan was the scum of the earth. He was on a lower level than Dan and that was hard to achieve.

"I couldn't even imagine." I echoed her earlier words, "Where is she buried?"

"She's buried at Cedar Grove Cemetery in New York." Savannah sighed, "I just… I miss her. It's crazy. She was alive for less than three full days but I miss her."

"Just because she was only alive for three days doesn't mean anything. You carried her up until then. Of course you miss her."

I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles, hoping that even that small gesture of affection might bring her some comfort.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." I told her, "I should have been. I'm supposed to be your best friend."

She smiled at me and reached up to lay her hand on my cheek, gently pulling me towards her as she leaned up towards me at the same time. In her soft kiss I knew that my apology was accepted and at the same time completely unnecessary.

I didn't ask anymore questions and instead we rested peacefully the rest of the way home. I was content. I was where I needed to be and with who I wanted to be. The details could be worked out later.


	8. Chapter 8: The Process Begins

**_Author's Note: I should totally be in bed but I have been furiously working at writing chapter 9, which you all will get once my amazing beta is finished with it! :) I of course want to thank those who reviewed last chapter: __FiFi4EvEr1007, TeamBrathanbaby23, girlyshorty85, Long Live Brucas, and music-is-love10. I have been inspired by some of the reviews and messages I have received lately and they have completely helped shape what the story is becoming and they keep me writing so thank you all soooooooo much. Hope you like this one! Enjoy! :) _**

**Chapter Eight**

**The Process Begins**

**Brooke POV**

"Lucas! Get your rear in gear! We're gonna be late!"

I tapped my foot impatiently and glanced repeatedly at the clock. No one was going to take us seriously if we were always late getting to the places we needed to be.

"Lucas!"

"What?" Lucas casually walked into the living room of our home and flashed me that award winning smile, "I'm ready. Let's go."

"It's about time." I hurried out the door and headed for our car, Lucas locking the house behind us and following me.

"You know, when we have kids you're going to need to be a little more relaxed because I'm sure they're not gonna hurry like I do." Lucas teased me.

"That was hurrying?" I scoffed, "Get in the car. Drive. We're late."

I wanted to stay irritated with Lucas for making us late but if I was honest, the way he constantly glanced at me while we drove only made me love him more. He didn't say a word, just smiled at me the entire way.

"Stop smiling at me." I said simply, "You're making me forgive you."

"I'm sorry." He grinned, "I didn't mean to make us late. I was just nervous. It's not everyday that we go to meet with an adoption counselor."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I knew exactly what he meant. I was more nervous than I thought possible.

"Are we really doing this Luke?" I looked over at him expectantly, "We're really starting the process? Sometimes it feels like a dream you know? How is it possible that I married the man of my dreams and he's willing to adopt a baby with me and start our family when we're so young and… I just don't believe it's real sometimes."

"It's real." Lucas took one hand off the wheel and entangled it with mine, lifting my knuckles to his lips so he could kiss them softly, "I love you Brooke Davis."

"I love you Lucas Scott." The nervousness was starting to ebb, "Do you think the agency is gonna approve us? Will they like us?"

"What's there not to like?" Lucas responded cockily as he laughed, "Of course they will like us Brooke. We're married, successful and responsible. We are what parents should be."

"But we're also young." I frowned, some of the nervousness returned, "And we both have careers. What if they look at that as a negative? We both work."

"I write from home and you could do most of your work from home too. Sketches, designs, approving magazine layouts… if you needed to, it could all be done from home. Trust me Brooke. They're gonna like us."

My nervousness subsided again until we had pulled into the parking lot, got out of the car, and were headed for the door. Suddenly my heart was pounding, my palms were sweating and everything I had prepared to say escaped my brain.

"Lucas, I can't do this." I stopped only a few steps from the door and looked up at my husband, "I can't."

"You can." Lucas stared me straight in the eyes and nodded, reassuring me, "You can and you're gonna be fine. If you don't WANT to, we will turn around and go home but if this is about being scared Brooke, you have no reason to be scared. You're amazing. They're gonna see that just like I do."

I thought about his words for a minute and then took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay, let's go in."

The inside of the small building was cheerful, obviously trying to ease the nerves of both the people looking to adopt and those looking to put their children up for adoption. There were three pregnant girls sitting in the waiting room and at least two other couples. I was still nervous but Lucas was right. We were gonna be just fine.

"Hi, I'm Brooke Davis and this is Lucas Scott. We have an appointment with Tracy. We're a few minutes late."

The receptionist smiled at us.

"It's okay. Most first timers are either late or super early. Nerves." She pulled out two clipboards and handed one to each of us with a pen, "I need each of you to fill those out then bring them back to me and I'll let Tracy know you're here."

"Thanks." Lucas smiled at her and then led me to two empty chairs where we both began looking over our forms and filling them out.

"These feel like doctors office forms." I whispered to him with a nervous laugh, "I don't think I've told anyone my true weight except for the doctor."

He laughed back.

"And you only told your doctor because they have an accurate scale."

I grinned and nodded.

The forms asked for everything from health history, family history… even a few short answer essay questions. The questions were extensive and varied. Some were easier to answer then others.

"Describe your mother in 50 words or less…" I read out loud to Lucas… "One word. Bitch."

"Brooke!" Lucas laughed, "Try to come up with something productive, okay?"

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Fine."

When we had both finished the forms I took them back to the receptionist and then returned to sit with Lucas while we waited to be called back. Luckily it didn't take long.

"Hi, I'm Tracy." A pleasant lady smiled at us and led us into her office, "You are Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott correct?"

"That's us." I smiled back at her, trying not to let my nervousness show through.

"Have a seat." Tracy led us to two chairs across from her desk, "Can I get either of you a water? Tea? Coffee?"

"Water would be great." Lucas accepted.

"Brooke?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

When Lucas had his water Tracy took a seat behind her desk and opened what I assumed had to be our "file." All the questionnaires, background checks, financial statements and everything else that we had submitted to this agency since we had started considering adoption.

"Okay, so I'm sure the two of you are nervous. That's completely natural. I want to assure you that today's appointment is nothing to be nervous about. We want to ask you some questions. Have a little face time because from this point in the adoption process on, you and I are going to be working very closely together. Up to now it was all emails, faxes, and…" She pulled up the forms we had just filled out, "Questionnaires. Now we start to get to the real stuff. The meat and potatoes of the process if you will."

Lucas and I both nodded.

"So, first thing's first. Your file says that you two are married for about a year and a half. You've been dating since high school. You are both 23 years old and were born and raised in Tree Hill. Lucas you are a writer and Brooke is a fashion designer." Tracy looked up from the file and over at us, "Sound right so far."

We both nodded.

"Lucas, tell me about writing. You have anything published? Let's face it. Some people put their occupation is writing and what they really mean is that they live off bread and butter and make squat at doing it. I've seen your bank statements so I know that's not your case but just tell me a little about it."

"Um… I write fiction. Sort of fiction. My first book was generally based on my high school experience with some differences but not many."

"Is a second book in the works?"

"Yeah." Lucas grinned, "I am getting chapters written and into my editor. I'll be honest, I've had writer's block for awhile but it's coming along now."

"And what's this one about? Can I ask?"

Lucas turned to stare at me and I saw pure adoration in his eyes. I loved it when he looked at me like that.

"It's about Brooke." Lucas told Tracy, his eyes never leaving mine.

I broke eye contact first, looking over at Tracy to see her reaction. She was smiling.

"I mean, it's based on Brooke." Lucas began to elaborate, "The main character isn't named yet but it's about a girl who finds success in fashion early in life and the reality of what she deals with being a successful, beautiful young woman."

"Luke…" I'm sure I was blushing. This was the first I had heard about his new novel.

"That's very sweet." Tracy nodded and made a few notes on the pad of paper in front of her, "So Brooke, tell me. What is the reality of being a young, successful fashion designer?"

"Um…"I laughed nervously, "It's fabulous and demanding and rewarding and crazy all at the same time. I love it."

"It's not just your clothing line though right? You have a chain of boutiques and a magazine…"

"Yeah, I mean. I have a great staff so most of the work that goes into the boutiques and the magazine is handled by people other than me. Right now I'm very focused on the fashion line itself. Since I started the line we've focused mostly on women's clothing for ages 15 to 99. We always say we have something for women from all walks of life in all price ranges and for all ages but we want to expand. Maybe work on a children's line or we've been considering men's wear."

Again Tracy made notes and nodded.

"Why adoption?" Tracy asked, "You're two young active adults. You're in love, married, happy. Why adopt rather than have your own children?"

Lucas and I looked at each other and back at Tracy.

"We want kids and we'd love to have our own someday but we realize that there are so many kids out there, already born and just waiting for a family to love them that we'd rather help those kids than have our own right now. And I want this to come out the right way so that you understand that we both know that adopting takes just as much if not more time and energy than having one of our own, but…" I paused, trying to word my statement correctly, "I can't take nine months out of my life to dedicate to being pregnant. Making sure I take vitamins, eating three meals a day, being tired all the time, morning sickness… my schedule doesn't account for those things. I can work from home and get everything done that I need to. Lucas works from home. We can dedicate plenty of time to a child but we don't have the time to dedicate to a pregnancy. Does that make sense without making me sound incredibly selfish?"

"I guess it makes sense." Tracy took some more notes, "It's definitely the first time I've heard that reasoning but in a way, it does make sense. Being pregnant takes an incredible toll on your body, your mind, your spirit. I can understand that."

I let out the breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding.

"Good." I smiled at her, "I've always been really bad at explaining things."

"You did a good job." She smiled back at me, "So then I can understand that you are looking to adopt an older child. You're not looking for a newborn, right?"

"We're pretty open about age." Lucas said, "But we're not looking to interview pregnant girls and wait for the birth and take the baby home from the hospital. We're not in that group of hopefuls. We'd rather look at the kids who we know need homes and go from there."

"At 23 you think you could handle say… a teenager? A pre-teen?"

"I think we were looking more at age 7 or under…" I looked at Lucas and then again at Tracy, "Not that we're not open to older kids. I guess it just depends on how we connect with the child. We have a nephew who is about to be four, a niece who is five. Lucas's little sister is five. His best friend has a seven year old and an 18 month old. We know how to handle kids those ages. We have no experience with any older than that other than… you know. When we were those ages."

"So you're open to it but you don't have experience with it…" It was more of a statement then a question, "Let's just lay it all out here okay? You're both young. Younger than we usually work with but you are financially stable. You support each other and you're very obviously in love. You have great references, clean backgrounds, and what appears to be a great support system by way of Lucas's mom, step-dad and your various friends and relatives that you have grown up with and live around here in Tree Hill. We don't want to turn you down just for your age because that would deprive very lucky children from what is probably going to be a very stable loving home and it would also give you two a lot less credit than what you deserve."

Everything she was saying seemed to be positive but I had a feeling a very large "BUT" was about to appear.

"But…" and there it was, "Let me try to word this the right way. We aren't turning you down. We would like to sort of test you guys. Foster first. Let us work with the state to place a kid or two in your home to foster and based on those experiences… I think we can get you approved to adopt very quickly. We just need to be sure that you can handle this and fostering is a great way to still help kids who are already looking for families, you know?"

My heart fell. She wasn't telling us no but she wasn't telling us yes either.

"But we can handle it… we." I couldn't form my thoughts and luckily I didn't have to. Lucas put his hand in mine and squeezed for reassurance.

"Can you give us a couple days to think about this?" He asked Tracy.

"You can have all the time you want. Here is some information on fostering okay? Listen, I like you two. I really want this to work. Even if you're not sure we would love to get a home study and see where we go from there. Okay?"

"Thank you." I managed to mumble and then Lucas and I rose, heading to the car again.

I wanted to cry. All I could keep thinking was that she wasn't saying no but she wasn't saying yes either.

"This isn't fair." I finally spoke when we were almost halfway home, "We're 23! It's not like we're 18. We can raise a child. Peyton is doing it! Haley's doing it and I mean, look at Jake! He was like 14 when Jenny was born!"

"He was 16 but that isn't the point Brooke." Lucas sighed, "Fostering is not a bad idea. I kind of like the idea actually. What if we are horrible at being parents? It's like a trial run. We can see if we can handle it and if we can't we aren't tied down to a kid."

"I want to be tied down to a kid Lucas!" I argued, "I want us to have a kid. I want them to call us mom and dad. I want to provide for them and love them and know that they love us!"

"Brooke, we can have all that. We can just… think about it okay? Think about fostering. It's not a bad idea."

We pulled up to our house and I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me and heading for the house. Inside I threw my shoes off and tossed my purse onto the couch, growling in frustration when it missed and landed on the floor instead.

Before Lucas even made it in the house I had gone into our bedroom and begun to angrily rip off my outfit. The outfit I had agonized over. The one I had carefully selected hoping to look like a young capable mother. Someone they would look at and just say "yes!" Not someone they looked at and said "eh, maybe."

"Brooke." Lucas stood in the doorway and watched me change as he sighed, "Just…"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I pulled a tank top and denim shorts on, slipping flip flops on my feet in place of the heels I had been wearing previously, "Just… I don't wanna talk about it. I think I'm gonna go to the boutique and sketch for awhile."

"But Brooke…"

"No." I pushed past Lucas in the doorway and headed back for the living room to retrieve my purse, "I'll see you later."

I heard him sigh before I shut the front door of the house behind me. I slipped into my car and pulled away from the house without waiting to see if he would follow me. I didn't want him to follow me. I was irritated and annoyed and it was just one of those times where Lucas's logic wasn't going to help.

I drove in the direction of the boutique but at the last minute decided there was somewhere else I wanted to be. Someone else I wanted to talk to.

"Peyt?" I opened the front door of her house and waited for an answer as I called out to her, "P. Carter!"

"In the kitchen!" Peyton called back to me and I smiled.

"Hey." I said, setting my purse on the kitchen counter and pulling up a stool at her kitchen counter.

"Hey." She smiled at me then must have noticed my frown because her smile fell, "What's up? How'd the meeting go?"

"Horrible." I replied, rolling my eyes, "They want us to foster first. They think we're too young to adopt right now so they want to test us by having us foster first."

"Oh." Peyton nodded slowly and when our eyes connected I could see her feelings on the idea.

"Peyton! Don't agree with Lucas on this! You're my best friend!"

"What? I'm not. I… Maybe I am. He thinks it's a good idea?"

"He said it wouldn't be a bad idea." I replied with a huff, "You two were always on the same wavelengths. I should have known better than to come here to talk. I could have just stayed home with him if I wanted that answer."

Peyton laughed.

"Brooke, you're looking at this all the wrong way." Peyton slipped her apron off and set it on the counter before pulling up a stool next to me, "They want you to foster. If they didn't think you could handle being a parent or didn't want you to adopt at all, they would have just said no. Thousands of couples get turned down for adoption every single day. They're not turning you down. They're giving you a free trial! It's like going to the mall, buying a beautiful pair of shoes and knowing that if they aren't comfortable, you can take them back but if they are comfortable, you get to keep them forever."

I glared at her.

"Stop that. You know shopping analogies always work on me!"

Peyton grinned.

"Where are your kids?" I asked, pushing my problems to the side as I realized the house was incredibly quiet.

"Xander took them to the grocery store to pick up a few things. We are having family dinner for the first time in a month. I'm ecstatic and hoping that I don't burn the casserole."

With that she stood and headed back into the kitchen, opening the oven slightly to check on her meal.

"You're making casserole?" I laughed at her, "Seriously? You?"

"Hey!" Peyton pouted her objection, "I can cook when I want to."

"Yeah, okay." I just shook my head, "That's like me saying I can play basketball when I want to. Just because I know that the ball goes into the hoop doesn't mean it's gonna actually do it. Good food doesn't just mean having the recipe."

"That's mean!" Peyton threw an oven mitt at me and crossed her arms over her chest, "It's not like you cook any better so shut up."

She had a point so I shrugged and let it go.

"You and Xander ever settle the whole 'quit working in Spain and stay home so we can be a family and maybe I can follow my dreams' thing?"

"Uh, no." Peyton chuckled as if were impossible to ever settle that whole thing, "He's stubborn. I love him too much to force him to do something he doesn't want to do so we just continue the cycle."

"Right." She'd already been enabling the cycle for five years but it didn't matter if I pointed that out to her. Nothing was going to change unless Xander wanted it to, "So how's baby 3 treating you? Still puking every day?"

"Yep." Peyton groaned, "It's horrible Brooke. Sienna was a breeze. Eli, nothing. This one, I feel like I'm being run over by a bull dozer and then fed to hungry sharks."

"Ouch."

"Yeah." Peyton sat back down with me and leaned over to put her head on my shoulder, "Savannah told me she felt the same way when she was pregnant. I'm kind of worried now."

"Savannah told you about her pregnancy?" I was amazed. As far as I knew she hadn't talked to anyone about that time in her life, "What'd she say?"

"Well, you remember last week when her and Nathan took the kids cause I was sick?"

I nodded, pulling a bag of chips from her counter towards me so that I could snack on it while she talked.

"She came to pick up the kids and found me curled up on the floor of the bathroom and she came over, sat behind me. She rubbed my back and said the position was very familiar to her as she had spent most of her pregnancy the same way."

"Oh, well Peyton, that doesn't mean anything. It just means she had bad morning sickness. It doesn't mean that she had bad morning sickness because of whatever caused her to go into early labor."

"Yeah, but I'd rather be sure so I'm gonna ask the doctor about it when I go for my check up tomorrow. Oh, do you wanna baby sit while Xander and I go to that?"

"You mean foster your children for a day? Sure." I replied sarcastically and she laughed.

"You really should consider it Brooke. It's a good opportunity and who knows. What if you fall in love with one of the kids you foster? Then maybe you can just adopt that one."

I sighed and began to think about it. The rational half of my brain knew that she and Lucas were right. Fostering was a good idea, it just wasn't what I wanted and the irrational side of my brain was throwing a fit because I wasn't getting what I wanted.

"I better go." I said, standing from my stool, "I told Lucas I was going to the boutique to sketch and I have a sneaking suspicion he's gonna go there to look for me. Plus you guys have family dinner and I don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding Brooke. You are family." Peyton hugged me tight, "Talk to Lucas about the fostering thing okay? You might end up liking the idea."

"Okay." I headed for the front door followed by Peyton.

It swung open before we could reach it and Sienna and Eli came running inside happily.

"Mommy, guess what? Daddy bought us apple pie for desert! It looks so good!" Sienna exclaimed as she jumped up and down at Peyton's feet.

"Yeah?" Peyton smiled down at her daughter, "Well you better go wash up. Dinner's almost ready."

"K." Sienna took off upstairs and Peyton switched her attention to Eli.

"Look!" Eli was holding up a toy car for Peyton to see.

"What's that?" She inspected it and grinned, "Did daddy buy you a car?"

Eli nodded and she leaned down to kiss him softly.

"Go upstairs with your sister and get washed up for dinner."

"K." Eli headed for the stairs too and although at 2 he was much slower than Sienna at getting upstairs I could tell he was determined to go as fast as he could, the little car in his hand clutched close to his side.

"Hey Brooke." Xander, carrying the groceries, greeted me as he walked in the door, "Joining us for dinner?"

"Nope, I am on my way out actually." I smiled as he leaned down to give Peyton a quick kiss and then head into the kitchen with the bags, "I'll see you guys later."

"Okay." Peyton waved.

"Hey Peyt?" Xander called out from the kitchen, "What's burning?"

"Shit." Peyton hurried off to the kitchen and I laughed, leaving the house and heading back to my car.

I thought about what she Lucas had said while I was driving to the boutique. It all made sense but I couldn't help but sigh. It just meant that it would be longer before we had a child of our own. Someone who would run into the house excited just to tell me they had apple pie or to show me their new toy. I wanted what Peyton had, just minus the morning sickness.

At the boutique, Millie was skillfully handling three customers at once so she didn't have the chance to tell me that Lucas was waiting for me in my office. Instead I had to find out the hard way, jumping out of my skin when he said "hello."

"Lucas! You scared me!"

"Sorry." He didn't look like he was sorry. He was smiling, "So how did I beat you here if you left twenty minutes before I did?"

"I stopped at Peyton's house." I smiled back at him, moving towards where he was sitting in my desk chair, "I figured you'd come after me though. You care too much."

"No. I care just enough." Lucas pulled me down into his lap and kissed my shoulder softly, "You know that whatever you decide about this fostering thing, I'm behind you 100% right?"

"I know." I sighed, leaning against him and letting him wrap his arms around my waist, "I guess the spoiled brat in me hates that I'm not getting my way. I just… I watch Peyton and Xander with Sienna and Eli and I want that. Those kids adore them! The everyday things excite them to the core. Sienna was excited about apple pie and Eli got a toy car and because Xander bought it for him it was like the most amazing thing ever. I want kids who look at us like that. I want a family of our own."

"We will have a family Brooke. Whether it's now, in a year or in 5 years." Lucas kissed me softly, "We will have what Peyton and Xander have. Just because it's not happening the way you want it to happen doesn't mean we can't get there."

I nodded.

"I love you Lucas Scott."

"I love you too Brooke Davis… Scott." He grinned, "Technically…"

"Yeah, yeah." I had decided after our wedding that I was going to keep my last name instead of take his, for purposes of keeping things simple with Clothes Over Bros, but he hadn't let me live it down a day since, "Let's do the fostering thing."

"Are you sure?" Lucas gazed into my soul with those eyes of his and I nodded.

"Let's do it. Like Peyton said, it's like going to the mall, buying a beautiful pair of shoes and knowing that if they aren't comfortable, I can take them back but if they are comfortable, I get to keep them forever."

"She's good. She used a shopping analogy on you."

"I know…" We both laughed, "We're gonna be foster parents Luke. You think we can handle it?"

"Baby, I know we can."

_**Author's Note part deux: I would love to know everyone's opinions on Brooke and Lucas adopting/fostering. Do you think it's a good idea? What age should they look at? Teen? Pre-teen? Younger? Girl? Boy? More than one at a time? I would just love to know what everyone thinks! Thanks!**_


	9. Chapter 9: Harder Than You Think

**_Author's Note: Hi guys! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted! I wrote it once, didn't like it so I rewrote it and I liked the second version a LOT better and thought I sent it to my beta to read but... I didn't so I was waiting to get it back and she was waiting to get it and so that delayed the posting a bit. My bad! Anyway, I really really like this chapter. I hope you all do. I just really like the way it came out so I'm anxious to know what you all think too. Of course, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, Long Live Brucas, music-is-love10, and TeamBrathanbaby23. As always you rock my world. :) Enjoy this chapter! _**

**_DISCLAIMER: THERE IS A SEX SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THAT, SKIP IT! I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU THE CHAPTER WITHOUT THE SEX SCENE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT OKAY? JUST PM ME AND WE WILL WORK IT OUT. I DO NOT WANT YOU ALL TO BE OFFENDED IN ANY WAY.  
_**

**Chapter Nine**

**Harder Than You Think**

**Xander POV**

I stood in the doorway to Sienna's room, hesitating for a second while I watched her get comfortable in her bed. Her eyes fluttered shut and then opened again. I knew she was fighting sleep.

"Goodnight baby girl." I whispered to her before moving to close the door.

"Goodnight daddy."

I sighed with the door shut and then headed for Eli's room, checking to make sure he too was tucked in.

"Goodnight buddy." I leaned over him and kissed his forehead which made him stir but he didn't wake up. He cuddled the stuffed turtle Savannah had apparently bought him at the San Diego zoo then his breathing evened out again and I knew he was out for the night.

"Hey…" Peyton looked up at me when I walked into our bedroom and I couldn't help but smile. She was always beautiful but something about her changed when she was pregnant that made her even more so. She was just barely starting to show but her breasts had grown a full cup size already.

She set down her sketchpad and beckoned for me to join her in the bed. After slipping out of my clothes I happily obliged.

"I'm glad you're home." She said snuggling up to my side as she entangled her limbs with mine, "I miss you when you're not here."

"I miss you too." I gazed into her eyes and another sigh escaped me, "I miss tucking the kids in and family dinners."

"Xander…" Peyton got a serious look on her face and I could see she was biting the inside of her lip which meant she was nervous, "I know we've talked about this before but… why can't you be home with us all the time? Why can't you quit your work in Spain and just… be with us?"

Since the phone call last week we had expertly skirted our way around this issue. I had come home and she hadn't said a word. We pretended, as we always did, that it didn't matter. The time we had when I was home was spent making sure every moment would count. I knew it would have to come up again eventually.

"Peyt, it's just…" I tried to figure out how I could word it so that she would understand, "I have responsibilities over there and I'm worried that if I hand everything over to Orlando, he'll ruin it. He's impulsive and selfish and I can just see him taking over, ruining every relationship me and my Abuelo built over the past 50 years and then I still have to go in and clean up after him. I… If I give it up and I finally get to spend all my time with you and the kids and just living and then I have to go back to fix it, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it."

"So then don't clean up his mess. He's a grown man Xander! Let him clean up his own mess."

"It doesn't work that way!" I knew the way it came out was snippy because she flinched, "Baby… I'm sorry. It's just, it doesn't work that way. If he fucks things up they kill him and then they come looking for me. I don't get to just turn my back on it and never deal with it again. It's always going to be a part of our lives whether we like it or not."

Peyton moved away from me and I groaned trying to pull her back into my arms. She pulled her arm from my grasp and turned over so that her back was to me.

"Peyton, don't be mad." Since she wouldn't come to me I went to her and wrapped my arm over her waist, "Please, I love you. I'm not saying these things to make you upset."

"But it does upset me Xander." Her voice was shaking so I knew she was crying, "We've talked for so long about how one day you would hand it all over. You would give it up."

"Yeah, but Peyt, I can't just give it all up. It's harder than you think."

"Then you never should have said it would happen." She snapped at me, looking at me, the tears running down her face, "If it wasn't ever going to happen then you shouldn't have said it in the first place. I'm tired. Just forget it okay?"

"I don't want to forget it Peyton. Let's talk about this."

"Why?" She turned and I was forced to scoot away from her a little bit, "Your answer is never going to change! You're always going to tell me that you want it. You want for us to be together all the time and you want to be here every night to tuck the kids in bed and you want to watch them grow up but it's just not that easy. It's harder than I think. Fine, fuck it. I accept it. There's no reason to talk about it."

She moved to her side again, her back to me and I sighed, letting myself flop backwards onto the pillows.

"I love you Peyton. Please don't be mad at me."

Peyton sniffled and my guilt meter rose. Here I was, making my pregnant wife cry when all I wanted to do was make it all better for her. I wanted to give her the world. I just… couldn't give her what she wanted the most.

"I'm not mad." She said softly, "I just want my husband here, with his family. I want to feel like you're not just visiting when you're here. I want our kids to know you and know you'd move mountains for them if you could because I know that you would. But I can't have those things so… I'm not mad. Just disappointed I guess."

Her disappointment was worse than her anger. If she yelled, or screamed or threw things at me I could handle it. I couldn't handle this. Her quiet retreat.

Eventually her tears stopped and her breathing evened out, indicating that she was asleep. I continued to stare at the ceiling, willing myself to fall asleep. To push my wife's disappointment in me… my disappointment in myself to the back of my head and just catch a few hours of sleep before my kids would inevitably come jump on me to wake me up. I couldn't push it out of my head though. I just kept thinking about her tears and the defeat in her voice. I wanted there to be a way for me to fix it.

I must have drifted to sleep trying to find a solution to our situation because the next thing I knew there were two small children jumping on the bed next to me chanting "wake up."

"Arrgh!" I lunged and grabbed Sienna's feet letting her fall to the bed as she squealed and giggled.

Eli jumped on me and the three of us rolled around the bed for a few minutes, the kids laughing while I alternated tickling each one of them.

"Wait!" Sienna yelled and Eli and I froze.

A mischievous grin came across her face and she took the pause in action to jump on me and the action resumed.

"Breakfast is ready." Peyton stood in the doorway watching us with a half amused smile on her face, "Come on guys, it's gonna get cold."

I stopped tickling and both Sienna and Eli gave me quick kisses before hurrying from the room and heading downstairs. Peyton turned to follow them and I sighed.

"Peyton!" I called out to her but she didn't respond. She just kept walking.

Groaning I let myself fall back on the pillows. I closed my eyes and silently willed this to all be a dream. I would open my eyes and my wife would be happy again, speaking to me at least. But when I opened my eyes I was still alone in the bed. I could still hear my family downstairs having breakfast without me. The way they did more often than not. I didn't blame Peyton for being disappointed in me. I was disappointed in me.

I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and was just going to head for the closet to find some clothes to throw on when Peyton rushed by me, headed for the toilet.

I didn't even need to guess what was about to happen. The unmistakable sound of vomiting followed as she knelt on the floor and I frowned, moving to her side.

There wasn't really anything I could have said to comfort her and I knew it, so I sat next to her, rubbing her back and holding her hair out of her face as she emptied the contents of her stomach. It seemed to go on forever but realistically probably lasted less than a minute. When she was done she sank to the floor and let her back rest against nearest hard surface so she was facing me.

"You okay?" I asked her cautiously.

She nodded and took a deep breath, letting her eyes flutter closed for a moment.

"If you want to lay back down I can handle the kids today. You should rest."

She shook her head no this time.

"We have a doctor's appointment at 10. Brooke's on her way over to get the kids. I need to shower and get dressed."

"Alright." I stood and held out my hand for her so that I could help her up, "Come on. I'll stay with you just in case you need anything while you're in the shower."

"I've done this every single day for the past week without you here." She replied harshly, standing without accepting my hand, "I'm pretty sure I can handle taking a shower by myself."

"Peyton…" I frowned, "Baby, please…"

"Please go pick out outfits for the kids to wear so that they can change into them as soon as they're done eating." She wobbled a little as she stood and I reached out to help her but she swatted my hand away, "Please, just go."

I didn't want to leave her alone when I knew she was probably still weak from vomiting, but she wasn't going to let me help her directly and I knew that. At least I could help her by getting the kids dressed.

"That looks yummy. Mommy made you pancakes?" I looked over the table where the kids were eating, "Can I have a bite?"

Sienna gladly shared a bite of her pancakes with me and I rewarded her with a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you baby girl. As soon as you're done eating you need to go upstairs, brush your teeth and then go in your room and put on the outfit that is laying out on your bed."

"I wanna pick my own clothes." Sienna objected, "I never get to pick my own clothes. I'm a big girl daddy. I can do it."

"You are a big girl but you are spending the day with Aunt Brooke today and mommy wants you to wear something nice so please, just put on the clothes that are on your bed."

"I can pick something nice." Sienna argued, "I can! I know what's pretty. Aunt Brooke taught me!"

"I'm sure she did Sienna but not today okay? Please?"

She glared at me and pushed away her plate which was still half covered in pancakes. Apparently all the women in my life had decided to make today difficult.

"I'm done. Can I go?"

"Yes. Go brush your teeth and get dressed." I excused her from the table and she took off, stomping her way all the way up the stairs. I sighed and turned to Eli who was still happily eating his pancakes, "You're not mad at me right buddy?"

Eli giggled and shook his head no although I doubt he knew what I had asked him.

I made myself a quick plate of pancakes and quickly gobbled them down. While I was rinsing my plate Eli suddenly exclaimed "A' done!" and I turned around just in time to see his plate, fork and leftover pancakes flying into the air. It was like watching the scene in slow motion, seeing the stream of syrup coming off the plate and land in Eli's hair just before everything came crashing down onto the floor in front of him.

My mouth fell open in amazement just as I realized Peyton was standing at the bottom of the stairs watching the scene.

"I probably should have warned you he started doing that last week." She tried to put on a serious face as she took a few tentative steps towards us but I could see inside she was laughing, "Elijah Michael Carter, what did I tell you about that?"

"A' done momma." He replied, throwing his hands up in the air again and giggling.

She held back her laugh and just shook her head at him, taking in the syrup dripping down his forehead from his hair and the mess surrounding him. I was frozen. I had no idea what to do.

"Alright, let's get you upstairs and in the bath before Aunt Brooke gets here." Peyton started to remove him from his chair but I stopped her.

"I got him." I scooped him from his chair and managed to sneak in a quick kiss to her lips before she tried to object, "Relax. You deserve it."

I got Eli into a quick bath while he babbled to me about things I couldn't understand. After the bath, I took him into his room and got him dressed quickly. I was just tying his shoes when the doorbell rang and I breathed a sigh of relief that I had actually managed to do what Peyton had asked me to before Brooke arrived.

The relief lasted until I walked into the hallway and found Sienna coming out of her room in the most mismatched outfit I had ever seen. She had on purple tights, light green shorts, a pink tank top over which sat a pink tutu and she was wearing yellow dress shoes to complete the outfit.

"Don't I look pretty daddy?"

"I thought I told you to put the clothes on that were on your bed." I headed for her room and guided her back inside only to find that she had emptied the contents of her entire dresser onto the floor of her bedroom. The outfit I had picked out for her was nowhere to be found.

"Xander! Brooke's here to pick up the k…" Peyton's voice trailed off as she stepped into Sienna's room, "What happened?"

"I dressed myself mommy." Sienna turned around so Peyton could get the full effect of her outfit, "It's pretty right?"

Peyton's mouth fell open and she looked from me, to Sienna, to the room and back at me before she replied.

"Xander, what happened? I thought I asked you to get them dressed?" Peyton glared at me and all I could do was shrug.

"I laid out an outfit and apparently she didn't like it." I gestured to the room, "I'll fix it though. Don't be upset. Can you take Eli to Brooke and then I'll be down with Sienna in like two minutes?"

Peyton took a deep breath and I could see she was trying to hold back her anger. I was sure she blamed me for the mess and I couldn't argue otherwise. I was the one who sent the five year old to get dressed by herself. Peyton knew better because she dealt with these things on a daily basis. I was learning the hard way.

"Okay, we'll see you downstairs in a minute." She took Eli from my arms and then took one last look at the room shaking her head, "Sienna, just so we're clear, making this kind of mess is not okay."

"But I look pretty." Sienna pouted watching Peyton retreat downstairs.

"You're gorgeous baby girl but remember when daddy asked you to put on the outfit he had laid out for you because mommy wanted you to wear something pretty for Aunt Brooke today?"

She nodded.

"Next time, you do what daddy asked you to do because that's what good girls do okay? You're beautiful but sometimes, little girls have to just do what their mommy's and daddy's tell them to do even if they don't want to."

She was still pouting.

"Come on, we have to get you into something clean and presentable before mommy gets more upset with daddy so take off the tutu and those shorts and tights and let's find you something to go with that beautiful pink shirt you picked out."

"But I like what I picked out." Sienna crossed her arms over her chest and refused to remove the clothing I didn't want her to wear.

"Sienna Brooke, now." I hated spending the time I had with the kids trying to discipline them but at this point it was either get Sienna dressed or have Peyton even more mad at me and my daughter would forgive me later. My wife might not.

"No." Sienna backed away from me when I tried to reach for her, "I wanna wear my tutu!"

"Sienna…"

"No!" Sienna screamed, running from the room.

I groaned and chased after her as she continued to run down the stairs. I followed her and found she had stopped dead in the foyer, standing and facing Peyton and Brooke who were both grinning at her amusedly.

"Hey super dad. I think one got away." Brooke joked, smiling over at me when she saw me standing there, "She's already dressed in her superhero costume so…"

"Funny Brooke." I caught Sienna by surprise and swept her up into my arms as she began to scream again, "Stop screaming. You are going to change whether you like it or not."

"Hey wait!" Brooke called out and I stopped walking in the same instant Sienna stopped screaming, "I'll get her dressed. You two just get out of here. Don't be late to the doctor's appointment on account of this. I can handle it."

"Brooke, you don't have to do that." Peyton handed Eli to Brooke and then headed my way, "I'll do it."

"I can get her dressed." I said quietly to Peyton when she was standing right next to me.

"Not as fast as I can. Just give her to me." Peyton argued.

"No. I can handle it and besides, you shouldn't be carrying her. She's too heavy."

"Both of you." Brooke stood next to us, Eli standing next to her, both of them staring at Peyton and I, "I will handle it. Give me the girl. Get out of here."

I reluctantly handed Sienna to Brooke who grinned from ear to ear.

"I am designing a new kids line of clothes and I need you to show me what's in your closet so I can be inspired." Brooke said to Sienna, "Can you help me?"

Sienna nodded happily and grabbed Brooke's hand, pulling her towards the stairs.

"Shoo." Brooke winked and motioned for us to leave, "I got this!"

Peyton and I watched Brooke take the two kids upstairs and both of us seemed frozen, unsure what to do without having to fix the situation. It was Peyton who snapped out of it first.

"You need to get your shoes on." She pointed out.

I looked down at my bare feet and sighed.

"I'll be right back."

I ran upstairs and found shoes to slip on quickly. As I searched for my wallet and sunglasses I thought about how horrible it felt to see my family as if through a stranger's eyes. I didn't have the experience handling Sienna the right way and I didn't interact with either of my children in the strong yet loving way Peyton did. I didn't know how. I was so worried about making the short time I did have with them peaceful and happy, I didn't have the heart to actually be a real parent. The kind that disciplined and drew boundaries. The kind that Peyton was.

I finally found my walled and sunglasses on my dresser and ran back downstairs to find Peyton waiting for me patiently, leaning against the front door.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Let's go."

I opened the passenger side door of my Range Rover for her and let her get settled before closing it and running around to the driver's side. I started the car and pulled out of the driveway quickly, turning us in the direction heading towards the doctor's office. She clearly didn't want to talk as she flipped on the radio and sighed as she stared out the window and one of the many musical tracks she loved filled the car.

I wanted to talk to her. I didn't want us to just continue being at odds but I also didn't want to push her. There was nothing I could say to her that was going to make it better so I let the ride be filled with music instead of conversation. It was easier that way.

When we finally arrived at the doctor's office and headed inside, the waiting room was already crowded with other expecting mother's. Some had their boyfriends or husbands with them. Some were by themselves. Some had their older children with them. It never ceased to amaze me how many different sizes and types of families you could see just by entering the waiting room of an OB/GYN.

"Hi Peyton!" The receptionist greeted us happily, "How are you feeling?"

"Crappy." Peyton replied honestly but she smiled as she signed in for the appointment.

We had been to the same OB/GYN for the first two kids so with the third it felt like an old routine. I found us two seats and waited for Peyton to join me while she chatted with the girls who worked in the office. When she did sit with me, she pulled a magazine from a rack nearby and read it while we waited. This particular magazine happened to have a picture of my sister in the upper right hand corner of the cover.

"What's it say about Savannah?" I asked Peyton quietly.

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you hated gossip magazines."

"I do." I countered, "But that's my sister we're talking about. I just wanna know what it says."

Peyton rolled her eyes, I assumed playfully, and looked at the glossary of the magazine to find out what page the information about Savannah would be on. When she located it she flipped to the page and we both smiled.

The picture showed Savannah, Nathan, Sienna, Lily, Eli and Jamie at the San Diego Zoo. Savannah and Nathan were standing off to the side watching all four of the kids point at the gorilla's inside the enclosure in front of them.

"The caption says 'Recently rehabbed supermodel Savannah Carter and her high school beau, former NBA star Nathan Scott, reunited in San Diego by taking his son and three friends to the San Diego zoo." Peyton laughed, "They went there together. They didn't reunite there and his son and her niece and nephew and my little sister not his son and three friends. These magazines never get it right. You're right. I shouldn't read them."

"I have to be right about something. It doesn't happen that often." I commented and her smile fell, "Hey, don't stop smiling. I was making progress."

Peyton rolled her eyes and went back to her magazine causing me to sigh. I turned away from her and instead watched a little girl who was probably about Eli's age play with one of the many toys in the waiting room. She turned to me and smiled so I smiled back.

"Peyton?" The nurse came out from the back and smiled at us, "Come on back."

They always got us in extra quick here and while I couldn't complain, I saw a lot of the expectant mothers still waiting glare at us as we disappeared into the back.

"Welcome back! Baby 3 huh?" The nurse, Amanda, was grinning, "How long has it been? 2 years?"

"Eli is 27 months so yeah, a little over 2 years." Peyton replied.

"I bet he's getting big! You'll have to show me pictures when we get you settled. Can you step up on the scale for me?"

"Do I have to?" Peyton joked.

Both Amanda and I rolled our eyes.

After they took her weight we headed into the exam room and they checked her pulse and blood pressure. All the normal things that usually happen at a doctor's appointment.

"Alright." Amanda set down Peyton's chart, "Where are the pictures? I know you have them."

Peyton opened her purse and started to pull out a hand full of pictures then stopped, pulling out the magazine from the waiting room instead. She had apparently brought it with her.

"My sister-in-law took them to the zoo last week and because she is a celebrity, apparently they photographed the kids so…" Peyton found the right page and showed Amanda, "That's Eli and that's Sienna."

"Oh my goodness!" Amanda exclaimed, "Wow, I think the last time I saw him was what? His one month check up? He was tiny and now he's… wow. And Sienna. Did she start school yet?"

"This fall." I answered and Amanda grinned, handing the magazine back to Peyton.

"Well, one thing is certain. You two always have beautiful babies so we know what to expect don't we." She picked up the chart again and headed for the door, "Dr. Brown will be in to see you in just a minute. You know the drill."

"We do always have beautiful babies." I agreed with Amanda when the door was closed again and Peyton stood to change into the provided gown, "I know it's too early to tell but what do you think? Boy or girl?"

Peyton took a deep breath and shrugged.

"Girl maybe. I honestly don't know. The morning sickness has been worse than with either of the first two so I have nothing to go on."

"Make sure you tell the doctor about that just in case okay?"

"I planned on it." Peyton returned to the exam table wearing her gown and for the first time all morning she looked me straight in the eyes, "Savannah told me she was really sick when she was pregnant."

Alarms immediately went off in my mind. Savannah had lost her baby. What if…

"That's why we're gonna talk to the doctor about it Xander." Peyton said, drawing me away from my thoughts. She reached out and grabbed my hand, "Stop worrying."

I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles softly, throwing her a small smile. Life was much nicer when she wasn't mad at me.

"Knock, knock." Dr. Brown slowly peeked her head into the room with a smile and when she saw everything was good she opened the door and stepped all the way into the room, "Good morning! Long time no see!"

"Two years." Peyton laughed nervously.

"Hi Xander." She shook my hand and then stood in front of Peyton, "So, what's the verdict? Boy or girl?"

"Xander just asked me the same thing. I really don't know. I've been really, really sick with this one so far. Worse than the first two so if I had to choose I would say alien."

Dr. Brown laughed and moved to take notes in the chart.

"So severe nausea, vomiting?" She sat on her stool and continued to take notes, "On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst vomiting you've ever done, what would you call it?"

"11." Peyton responded immediately, "It started last week and I've had it every day since. Usually in the mornings but sometimes early afternoon. The second day I actually spent an hour and a half in the bathroom."

I winced, feeling the pain for her. She hadn't shared all those details with me and I again began to feel guilty for not being there with her while she was going through it.

"So very severe nausea and vomiting. Any bleeding, stomach cramps, diarrhea?"

Peyton shook her head no.

"Okay, well we're gonna do a vaginal check, see if we see anything abnormal and then also we will do an ultrasound. We'll rule out a few things just to be safe and try to see what's going on in there. The severe morning sickness may be entirely harmless other than the discomfort so don't start worrying too much."

"My sister-in-law, she um, she said she had the same type of severe morning sickness when she was pregnant and she ended up delivering at 24 weeks and her baby didn't make it." Peyton said, the fear apparent in her eyes, "Is that something…"

"We will want to run some tests but without having her charts and knowing exactly what happened in her case, I would say let's just focus on you okay?" Dr. Brown could see Peyton was worried, "Most likely, it has nothing to do with you. You've already had two healthy babies so we'll just make sure you're headed towards a third okay?"

Peyton nodded and then got comfortable on the table, knowing the next step was the actual exam.

Watching the actual exam always made me feel uncomfortable. It's not like I didn't know what Peyton looked like down there or that I hadn't seen her naked, but for some reason it was always weird when there was a real exam happening. I usually stood instead by Peyton's head and held her hand while it took place.

"Everything from this vantage point looks good." Dr. Brown finished the exam and let Peyton relax, smiling up at both of us, "Let's do the ultrasound and see if we can't get you a due date okay?"

Peyton nodded and looked over at me, smiling nervously.

It took a couple of minutes to get the ultrasound set up but when it was finally happening, Dr. Brown let the images fill the screen and it was magical, just like it had been the first time we saw Sienna on the same screen.

"Alright here is your baby's head…" Dr. Brown showed us a small dot on the screen and smiled, "And then this is a hand and that is the baby's…"

Dr. Brown stopped mid sentence and frowned. Peyton squeezed my hand as if she were panicking immediately.

"What is it?" I spoke up, instinctively knowing Peyton couldn't talk at that moment.

"It's not bad." Dr. Brown turned to smile at us, "I just need to look at this again. One second…"

Peyton didn't seem to believe her that it wasn't bad. She was still squeezing my hand in a death grip.

"Okay, let's start this again. This right here is your baby's head and if we go right over here…" Dr. Brown moved the picture a little to the right, "This is your other baby's head. You're gonna have twins."

Peyton and I both gasped at the same time. She immediately started to cry. I was speechless. I couldn't say a word. Twins was the last thing I expected to have come from the doctor's mouth. I was a twin. Weren't those supposed to skip a generation?

It occurred to me after a few moments of silence that I should console my wife who was crying hysterically.

"Hey…" I hugged her and kissed her temple, "It's okay. Shh…"

"Twins explains the morning sickness. A lot of mothers carrying multiples say they experience worse morning sickness than those carrying only one. We'll still run those tests but everything looks great. I'd put you at about 10 weeks based on the size of the babies. I'll take a closer look while Amanda comes in to draw some blood and I'll get you an exact due date and the printouts from the sonogram okay?"

Doctor Brown watched Peyton cry and clutch to me for a minute then she just smiled.

"I'll give you two a minute and then I'll send Amanda in."

She disappeared and as soon as she was gone Peyton began to cry harder.

"Peyton…" I placed one of my hands on each side of her face, forcing her to look at me, "Baby, what's wrong? This is good."

She shook her head and continue to cry.

"No? It's not good?" I wasn't sure why she wouldn't see this as a good thing. Two babies instead of one? It wasn't like we couldn't afford it. She'd actually have a shorter, albeit rougher, pregnancy but if anyone could handle it I knew she could.

"I…" She tried to talk through her tears but couldn't control them long enough to get a full word out. She placed her hands over her stomach and just kept crying and I was at a loss for what to do or say to make anything better.

"Hi…" Amanda peeked in sign a playful frown on her face, "Everything okay?"

I looked to Peyton for the answer. I was fine but she didn't seem to be. Luckily Amanda didn't actually wait for an answer.

"I have to get a couple vials of blood so we can run some tests. Is that okay Peyton?"

Peyton nodded, trying to calm herself.

"Okay." Amanda stood opposite me on Peyton's other side, "So, twins huh? That had to be a surprise. Too much to handle?"

Peyton nodded again.

Amanda seemed to understand the nod but I still didn't understand. Why was Peyton so upset about this? We were happy when it was just one baby. What changed with two?

"Quick pinch." Amanda warned as she inserted the needle into Peyton's arm and after a moment blood began to flow into the vile, "So Doc said she is just going over the sonogram playback, determining due date. She said you're about 10 weeks. Hopefully the morning sickness will be over soon."

"Yeah." Peyton managed to squeak, her tears subsiding, "It's horrible."

"Most moms say it's worse with twins. I got lucky. I had twins 6 years ago and I didn't have morning sickness at all. Goes to show every pregnancy is different." Amanda distracted Peyton while she switched vials to get one more, "I carried to 37 weeks which is full term for twins so if you carry to full term that's only 27 weeks to go."

Peyton laughed which I took as a good sign.

"What'd you have?" Peyton asked, finally managing to speak, "Girls, boys or one of each?"

"Girls." Amanda grinned, "They are amazing. Yes, a handful, but the most amazing part of my life. You already have two. You know what it's like. This time you just get two at once."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Peyton smiled weakly, glancing over at me then back at Amanda as she was just putting a bandage on Peyton's arm so she didn't bleed too much, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. I've been there with you for two births. I think we are on sharing terms." Amanda grinned.

"Is your girls' father around?"

That was when it hit me. That was why she was upset. She was worried about doing it alone. Instead of going from two kids to three kids she was going from two to four and she was worried that I wouldn't be there. This was because of my job.

"No." Amanda answered the question with a sigh, "Took off just after they were born. Wasn't ready I guess. But you're lucky. You have this guy."

She patted my arm playfully and turned to head out of the room.

"You're gonna be fine Peyton. I'll send Doc back in."

When the door shut I turned to Peyton and for the first time in awhile I just stared into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts.

"You're not doing this alone Peyt." I told her simply, "I'm here for you every step of the way."

"Yeah?" She stared at me accusingly, "Kind of like you've been here for the morning sickness so far? When do you even go back Xander? Tomorrow? The next day? All it takes is one phone call and you hop back on your plane and race off to Spain. I call you and tell you I am throwing up as if I'm going to die and it's 'Sorry baby, can't get away. Important mafia bullshit to take care of."

"Peyton!" I hissed, looking around as if someone could have heard her talking about my job.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Forgot I'm not supposed to mention that you're a crime boss. Probably shouldn't talk about all the illegal things you do while you're in Spain although, you don't really tell me much so there isn't much for me to tell is there? There never has been. You always keep everything from me!"

There was a soft knock at the door and I didn't have a chance to respond to Peyton because the doctor returned with a smile.

"Okay so we are giving you a due date of February 5th but remember, it's completely normal for twins to be born early and of course, we'll keep an eye on you. I will call you with the results of the tests we are running but other than that let's just see you back in 6 weeks to check up on you okay?"

Peyton nodded, offering a small smile.

"Congratulations you two."

The doctor disappeared and Peyton rose to start getting dressed again.

"Peyton…"

"I'm not talking about this here." She immediately cut me off, "I'm exhausted. I just want to go home and take a nap before I have to pick the kids up from Brooke and make dinner and…"

Peyton sighed, listing off the things she normally did in a day.

"I will pick up the kids and I will make dinner and you just make me a list of things I need to do and I will do them. I'm here to make everything easier on you. Not harder." I heard myself pleading, "Peyton, don't be mad at me. I'm doing the best I can."

"Well then you're best isn't good enough." She snapped, "Just take me home."

The drive home was long and awkward, filled with silence. I didn't know what to say to my incredibly pissed off wife. I didn't know what I could do to make it better. Quitting my job was out of the question right now.

I wanted to do everything I could to help her while I was in town but if I was honest, I really had no idea what she did all day. I just knew that whenever I was home, she made me feel like there wasn't a care in the world. She completed me. I thought I had been doing the same for her but it was becoming painfully obvious that she resented me more than I realized.

"I'll be upstairs." Peyton headed upstairs before I could say a word to her inside the house. I didn't stop her.

Looking around the house I started to see things in an entirely different light. There were children's toys everywhere. Scattered around various parts of the house. Eli's cars and trucks all over the coffee table in the living room. Sienna's finger-paint/art easel set up, completely covered in paint, in the corner of the dining room. There were loads of laundry, sorted but not yet cleaned lining the hallways upstairs. Sienna's room was still a disaster. Eli's room looked… well, it looked like a two year old lived there and with every little thing that I noticed, I realized how much my wife did around the house that I never appreciated.

It was no wonder that the idea of adding two more babies to the household would stress her out.

I sat down at the dining room table downstairs and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed a number and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. Looking up at the clock I realized it would be about 5PM. He should have been awake.

"Bueno." Orlando finally answered his phone on the 6th ring.

"Orlando." I said simply.

"Si, Xander. Cómo está?"

"Bien." I sighed, "Le necesito hacer algo para mí."

I told him I needed him to do something for me and I could almost hear him immediately perk up.

"Cualquier cosa." He replied, which meant "Anything."

"No estoy volviendo a España para un rato. Usted es responsable. No haga ensucie."

My one sentence changed his life.

"You're not coming back?" He asked in broken English, "You're putting me in charge?"

"I'm needed here more than there." I took a deep breath, "This doesn't mean it's yours. I am still the boss I just… can't be there right now."

"Okay." Orlando sounded scared.

"You can do this Orlando. I've taught you everything. Do NOT fuck this up."

"Si Señor."

"I'm available by telephone if I'm needed but try not to need me, entiendo?"

"Si."

The conversation was done. He knew what he needed to know so I hung up rubbing my temples as I could feel a headache building. I couldn't focus on that right now though. I needed to prove to my wife that she had nothing to worry about. I needed to show her I was going to be here for her, as more than a visiting husband.

"Hey Brooke, what's up?"

"Hi!" Brooke greeted me happily when she answered her phone, "How'd the doctor's appointment go?"

"Um… good." I knew that Peyton was going to want to share the news with her best friend so I didn't let it slip, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course."

"Would you keep the kids tonight? I can bring over changes of clothes and anything you need but I'd really like to spend the night alone with Peyton if at all possible."

"Ooh, got something romantic planned?" Brooke always wanted the gossip.

"Sort of." I replied, "Just keep the kids yeah?"

"Sure. Now that the remodel is pretty much complete we have plenty of room. Don't worry about a thing. I will make sure that we have everything we need for the kids. You just focus on my best friend."

"Thank you Brooke."

"Go get her tiger."

Brooke hung up on me and it was official. My plan was in motion.

The first thing that I did was go upstairs and start loading laundry into separate baskets to be carried to the laundry room downstairs. Once the baskets were loaded I carried them downstairs and started the first load.

The second thing on the list was Sienna's room. My fault for letting Sienna wreck it in the first place. My responsibility to clean it. It took a good half an hour but eventually all her clothes were refolded and rearranged in her dresser. The toys were placed in her toy box. Art supplies tucked safely in her desk drawers. The bed was made. Next I just had to repeat the process for Eli's room.

When Eli's room was clean I peeked in on Peyton to make sure she was still asleep and then I headed downstairs.

In the living room I put all of the scattered toys away in the toy box specifically designated for downstairs toy overflow. I wiped the paint off of Sienna's easel, making sure not to mess up the picture she had painted which I left pinned to the front, displayed with pride.

I wiped down tables and counters. I swept, mopped, loaded the dishwasher… I felt energized and at the same time exhausted. I had never done this much cleaning in my life. Growing up we had maids. With this kind of mess, I couldn't believe I hadn't hired one for this house yet.

The last step in my plan for the evening was dinner. I knew I couldn't cook well enough to impress. If I had learned anything from Mariah over the years, and I doubted that I had, it was certainly not her cooking skills. So I dug through drawers until I found take out menus and finally decided to order Chinese.

I was just finishing arranging the dishes I had ordered on the table when I heard Peyton padding down the stairs. By this time it was almost 6PM. I hadn't realized how long it had taken to clean. Apparently she hadn't realized how long she had slept.

"Xander?" Peyton called out to me.

"I'm in the dining room."

Her eyes were still puffy from the earlier crying. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt with penguin pajama shorts and house slippers. Her hair was in a lopsided bun on top of her head and her make-up was smeared but she was still beautiful to me. Her beauty overwhelmed me.

"What's going on?" She asked, taking in the spread on the table, "Where are the kids?"

"Brooke is keeping them for the night." I announced with a smile, moving to her side, "No, I didn't cook but I did order in just for you."

She giggled a little and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into my chest so I could hold her for a minute.

"I love you so much. I'm sorry that I've made you feel like you can't count on me and I'm sorry that I'm gone so much. You were right last night. I should have never told you that I wanted to eventually hand over the business to Orlando if I had no intention of doing so. The thing is Peyton, I had every intention of doing it but it just seemed that the longer I ran things the more comfortable I was with the job I was doing and I felt like if I gave it up I would lose my purpose in life." I took a deep breath and pulled her back a little so I could look into her eyes, "What I forgot is that my purpose in life is to be here with you to help raise our beautiful children and take care of you. I'm supposed to make you dinner when you're too tired to cook and do the laundry and clean the kids rooms and do the dishes and…"

"I don't need you to do all that." Peyton sighed, interrupting me, "I just need you here. To love me and make love to me and support me when I feel like shit. Have my back when the kids are acting up. Watch them grow up. Grow old with me."

I grinned.

"I can do all of that now." I said simply, "And all the stuff I mentioned too. I did do all that already actually…"

She laughed.

"The point is Peyton, I want to be here for everything and so I told Orlando that he's taking over for awhile. Maybe permanently, maybe not, but until further notice. It's a step in the right direction right?"

"You're serious?" Her eyes began to water as she stared at me, "I'm dreaming right?"

I shook my head no.

"I'm serious. Starting now, I'm not leaving Peyton. I'm here for you and for the kids 100%."

She jumped up on me, wrapping her legs around my waist, knowing that I would catch her there. Instinctively I pressed her against the wall and laid kisses across her collarbone, my senses immediately heightened. She dug her fingernails into my back, moaning and leaning her head back to allow me better access to her chest.

This being her third pregnancy I had figured out by now that being pregnant made her hornier than usual, although usually not this early in the pregnancy. It didn't matter though. If she wanted sex we were going to have sex. I could never resist her.

"Take me upstairs." She whispered seductively in my ear.

"Yes ma'am." I kept her legs wrapped around me and carried her upstairs, giggling as I fought not to trip on the stairs.

Once in our bedroom I set her down gently on our bed and stared at her for a second. Her eyes were glazed over from the passion. She was breathing hard, making her breasts rise and fall exaggeratedly. A slight smile played on those ruby red lips and I couldn't take it anymore.

My clothes and hers quickly fell to the floor and I climbed on top of her on the bed, moaning when she arched her body against mine. I teased her for a minute, just inserting my tip and then removing it repeatedly.

"You're mean." She said to me and I grinned.

"I'm not mean."

"You're teasing me. I give myself willingly to you and you are teasing me."

"Poor baby…" I pouted at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't be mean Mr. Carter. I am your wife and what I give I can take away."

"You're right." I nodded and with one swift motion plunged inside of her making her scream, "It was mean of me to tease you."

She didn't respond. With every thrust she growled her pleasure, grinding her hips upwards into mine. It didn't take very long for her release to build and when she came I came with her.

"You're still mean." She panted, trying to catch her breath after I managed to move off of her and onto my back beside her.

"Next time you be the mean one then." I teased her, turning and pulling her over to me again, "I'll gladly accept the torture."

She grinned, running her hands down my chest.

"You're serious about not leaving again? I'm not dreaming?" She asked, looking up at me through guarded lashes.

"I'm not leaving baby, at least not for a very long time." I leaned down and kissed her softly, "I'll be here for every round of morning sickness, every doctor's appointment, every dirty diaper, every burnt casserole…"

"Hey!" She smacked me softly but laughed, "It was Brooke's fault I burnt that. She distracted me."

"I ordered food. It's not like I'm better at cooking. The point is, I'm gonna be here from now on. We'll go through everything together okay?"

She nodded and I knew she had started to cry again.

"You and these hormones are killing me. You know I hate it when you cry."

"I can't help it!" She exclaimed turning over so I could no longer see her face, "I hate being pregnant."

"No you don't." I cuddled her against my chest and kissed her softly on the cheek, "You love it. If you didn't love it you would have gone on birth control like I told you."

She giggled.

"Shut up." She said simply and I just knew that she was rolling her eyes, "I know I didn't act like it before but I am excited about the twins. I was just overwhelmed thinking that things would be the same. I'd be home with the kids, all four of them, and you would be in Spain. I wasn't sure I could handle it."

Peyton was quiet for a minute.

"You can handle anything." I told her.

"Maybe." She shrugged, "Sometimes I think I can but others…"

"You can." I whispered, kissing her softly.

After a few moments of silence I spoke.

"So, boys, girls or both?"

Peyton laughed.

"Girls." She said, "I'm thinking girls but we already have one of each so to me, it doesn't really matter."

"Me either."

The silence enveloped us and for a minute I thought she had fallen asleep.

"Peyt?"

"Hmm?" She responded quietly.

"You wanna go take a bath with me?"

She turned over in my arms and smiled, nodding happily.

"Then after we'll go eat dinner okay?"

"Aren't you tired?" She asked, "You've been working so hard while I was sleeping."

"I just wanna take my beautiful wife downstairs and eat a normal dinner together. Will you let me?"

She sighed but nodded again, the tears threatening to spill. Before she could begin to cry I stood and pulled her up into my arms, carrying her to our master bathroom. I set her down on the edge of the tub and quickly got the water running at what she liked to call "just a little too hot" which she seemed to love.

I climbed into the bath first and she followed, nestling herself with her head against my chest as she sat between my legs.

"We should send the kids to spend the night with Brooke more often." She mumbled.

"Yes we should." I agreed, running my fingers through her hair, "At least once a week."

"I'll set it up."

I felt like there was more I needed to say but I couldn't find the words. Sitting in the tub with my wife distracted me from any thoughts that could have been formed. She was intoxicating. Cohesive thoughts couldn't form with her naked in my arms.

"I love you Xander." She whispered, breaking the silence.

"I love you too Peyton." I whispered back, "More than anything else."

"Was it as hard as you thought it was going to be?"

I smiled, remembering my words from the night before. I had told her it would be harder than she thought to give up my job and clearly those words had stuck out.

"No baby, it was not as hard as I thought it would be. I just knew that it meant more time with you, and our family and that it would make you happy. Knowing that made it easy."

**P.S.** **_Not related to this chapter, what does everyone think I should do with Haley and Jake? Break up? Stay together? Temporary separation? Who gets Jenny? Ideas? The next chapter is gonna be from Haley's POV and I'm struggling a bit so any ideas will help. Thanks!  
_**


	10. Chapter 10: Ultimatum

**_Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait between chapters... This one was sort of pivotal so it took a few go rounds with the beta! :) It came out the way I wanted it to though and I'm really excited. I am already working on the next chapter which is going to lead directly into the chapter after that and they will both be action packed so... I'm excited. Thanks to music-is-love10, you're awesome and you know it! Also thanks to HistoryNerd, Long Live BRUCAS, TeamBrathanbaby23, and katy for reviewing the last chapter! Ya'll rock! Anyway, read on and enjoy! Tell me what you think and where I should go from here! PS, the next two chapters will be Savannah & Nathan... :)_**

**Chapter Ten**

**Ultimatum**

**Haley POV**

"Morning momma." Jamie walked into the kitchen sleepily, rubbing his eyes and pulling himself up onto a stool at the kitchen island.

"Morning Jimmy Jam. How'd you sleep?"

"Good." Jamie smiled, "What's for breakfast? I'm starved."

I smiled back at him, cleaning up the tray of Jessie's high chair since she had just finished eating her breakfast.

"You can have whatever you want. You name it. I'll make it." I told him.

"Anything?" He had a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Breakfast food."

Jamie frowned.

"You said anything." He countered.

"Fine, anything." I knew what was coming next.

"Ice cream!" He exclaimed.

"I ceam!" Jessie copied him and I laughed.

"Alright, I did say anything." I headed for the freezer and gasped, "Uh oh Jamie, we're all out of ice cream. If you can wait for your ice cream breakfast we can go get some in a little while but I'll have to get Jessie dressed and me dressed and you dressed…"

Jamie sighed.

"Okay…" He shrugged, "I guess we can have french toast instead."

"Good choice." I closed the freezer and opened the refrigerator instead, pulling out eggs and setting them down on the counter next to the breadbox.

"Mama!" Jessie called out, "Down!"

"You can't get down right now Jess. I'm cooking and there's no one to watch you and make sure you don't get into stuff."

"I'll watch her." Jamie volunteered.

"No, you're too little." Jenny waltzed into the kitchen and over to Jessie's high chair as if she had been part of the conversation all along, "Come here Jess. I'll watch you."

"I could have done it." Jamie argued.

"You don't know how." Jenny argued back, "You're a baby and so is she."

"I'm not a baby!" Jamie yelled.

"Stop it you two." I interrupted the argument before it could escalate, "Jenny's older so she'll watch Jessie. You are waiting for your breakfast anyway Jamie so you don't wanna leave the kitchen do you?"

"I'm not a baby momma."

"No, you're not Jamie. Jenny, apologize to your brother."

Jenny rolled her eyes, clearly in a foul mood today.

"Sorry Jamie."

"It's okay." Jamie smiled at her and then Jenny took Jessie and headed for another room, leaving just Jamie and I in the kitchen, "Momma?"

"Yes?" I mixed the eggs and cinnamon together while the griddle heated up to cook Jamie's french toast.

"Did you name us with J's on purpose? Like, Jenny starts with a J. Jamie starts with a J. Jessie starts with a J…"

"Sort of." I replied, dipping the first piece of bread into the egg mixture, "Jenny is actually Jennifer and when you were born we wanted to name you James, like my maiden name…"

"What's a maiden name?" Jamie interrupted.

"The last name I had before I was married."

"Oh, what's your last name now?"

"Technically it's Jagielski." I added a mental note that it might change soon although I didn't voice this thought, "But since I'm a famous singer I still go by Haley James."

"Oh, okay."

"So anyway," I went back to my original line of thought, "So when Jessie was born we figured, since we already had two that started with J's we should continue the trend so we named her Jessica… Jessie for short… Jess for shorter."

Jamie giggled.

"So I'm James Lucas Scott and Jenny is Jennifer…"

"Jennifer Olivia Jagielski." It was kind of cute that Jamie wanted to learn this stuff.

"And Jessie is…"

"Jessica Lynn Jagielski."

"Cool." Jamie nodded, "What's your middle name momma?"

"That smells good." Jake interrupted our conversation, storming into the kitchen in a hurry, "I was supposed to be at the studio five minutes ago so I have to run or else I would stay to eat."

He grabbed an apple from the refrigerator and kissed my cheek.

"When are you gonna be home?" I called out to him before he could leave.

"Um…" Jake hesitated and shrugged, "I don't know. I'll call you?"

"We need to talk." I said seriously and his face fell.

Jake nodded and then sighed.

"I'll call you when I'm on my way." He said, striding back over to where I stood at the stove, "I love you."

Instead of a kiss on the cheek this time he kissed me passionately on the lips, pulling me into his arms. I felt him reluctantly pull away after a second and then he was gone, leaving me to wonder if I had imagined the scene.

"Jake loves you a lot momma." Jamie said, "He looks at you like daddy looks at Savannah."

I raised my eyebrows at the observation from my son.

"Your daddy looks at Savannah the way Jake looks at me?"

Jamie nodded vigorously.

"And how do you know that means he loves her?"

Jamie paused.

"Well, one time, he told me that she was the love of his life but that was before I met her. Now I just know cause sometimes, when she walks in the room, he'll forget what he was talking about before she walked in and sometimes when she's around he can't catch his breath, like she takes it away from him."

How my almost four-year-old son knew those things equaled love, let alone how he noticed when they happened, I had no idea. I was always book smart but my son had unequivocal observational skills and common sense.

"Your are super smart James Lucas Scott, you know that?"

Jamie grinned.

"Daddy says I got it from you."

"Your daddy is smarter than he gives himself credit for."

Jamie looked like he was going to respond when there was a shrill scream and a crash from a room nearby. I quickly tossed the spatula I was holding onto the counter and ran in the direction the scream had come from.

"What happened?" I asked, panicked that something horrible had happened.

Jessie was sitting on the floor of the living room crying, a broken lamp nearby while Jenny tried to comfort her.

"We were playing. I was swinging her around and her feet hit the lamp and it fell and she screamed. I don't know if it hurt her feet or just scared her."

"Come here baby." I picked Jessie up from the floor and cuddled her until she stopped crying, "It's okay. Where does it hurt?"

She continued to whimper but didn't point to any part of her body so I assumed she was okay.

"I'm sorry." Jenny started to pick up the pieces of the lamp.

"Don't pick it up." I stopped her, "I don't want you to cut yourself and trust me, that lamp doesn't mean enough for you to get hurt over it. I'm just glad you guys are okay. I was scared."

"Momma!" Jamie called from the kitchen, "The French toast is burning!"

"Shit." I cursed and ran back to the kitchen, setting Jessie down next in a chair at the table and then quickly running to turn the stove off, "I'm sorry Jamie. I burnt the first batch."

"It's okay." Jamie turned to look at Jessie who was pouting but no longer crying, "Is Jessie okay?"

"She's fine." Jenny went and sat with her, "It was an accident."

Taking a deep breath I calmed my nerves and prepared to restart the French toast. Sometimes I felt like I was going to lose my mind and things like broken lamps and screaming children were usually what started those days.

"Can I have French toast?" Jenny asked, distracting Jessie by trying to play patty cake with her.

"Of course." I smiled over at her, "And then the four of us all have to get dressed because we are going to go out and have a fun day."

"Doing what?" Jamie asked.

"I think we will go miniature golfing and then to the aquarium and then… Build-a-Bear so we can all have bears. What do you think?"

"Awesome!" Jenny exclaimed, "I love miniature golfing!"

"What's that?" Jamie furrowed his brows at me.

"You've never played?" Jenny was amazed, "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Jamie looked over at me, waiting for an explanation.

"Your Uncle Lucas and I built a mini-golf course on top of Karen's Cafe when we were younger so I love it. It's like regular golf but… only putting." I explained.

"What's putting?" Jamie asked.

"Putting is…" I had no idea how to explain miniature golf to Jamie, "You'll love it Jamie. Just wait and see okay?"

Jamie shrugged.

"Okay."

When the French toast was made and the children were fed, we all headed upstairs to get dressed and ready to go. Jessie was already developing a nice bruise on her ankle but it wasn't swollen so I decided she would be okay.

"What do you wanna wear today Jess?" I questioned Jessie as she sat on her big girl bed. She had just moved into the bed from her crib a month before so she was still getting used to it. I watched her throw herself back and roll around while she giggled. Clearly she couldn't care less what she was going to wear today.

Her closet was stuffed full of clothes she rarely ever wore. There was at least an entire shelf of the hanging clothes that she had never worn but had already grown out of. I sighed looking at them. I was hoping to have another one soon but with things going the way they were going with Jake… it didn't look like that was going to happen.

"Jessie, you wanna wear Minnie Mouse today?" I held up a cute light pink, "Mini Fine" brand Minnie Mouse shirt that depicted Minnie Mouse holding up a peace sign.

Jessie sat up, frowned and shook her head no. All the baby books I had read said that at her age I should only ask her questions if I could live with the answer, and if she said she didn't want to wear something I should take her word for it. I put the Minnie Mouse shirt back in the closet and continued to go through the clothes idly.

"Okay Jess, snow bunny Gwen or snow bunny line-up?" I held up two shirts I could live with, both from the Harajuku Lovers line of kid's clothes Gwen Stefani designs.

Jessie sat up again and debated the shirts, finally pointing at the pink snow bunny line-up shirt. I smiled and nodded, placing the other back in her closet. I quickly grabbed a pair of khaki shorts to match and then headed over to her bed to dress her. Luckily she didn't fight me today. She laid back and played with a stuffed animal while I changed her diaper and dressed her. Once I found her sandals and strapped them onto her feet she needed only to let me brush her hair and teeth, then she would be ready to go.

"Momma, does this match?" Jamie asked, coming out from his room in blue jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Yes baby. Brush your teeth."

"I'm not a baby." Jamie argued for the second time that morning.

"No, you're not but you're my baby." I grabbed him and kissed his forehead, "Brush your teeth."

He headed for his bathroom while I headed to mine where Jessie's hairbrush and toothbrush were stored. I finished getting her ready and then let her sit on my bed with toys while I readied myself.

Between taking care of the kids and touring, I had mastered the art of getting ready quickly. It took just a few short minutes for me to pick out an outfit, throw my hair into a ponytail, apply eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss then grab Jessie and head downstairs.

"Alright, everyone ready?"

Jenny and Jamie both nodded, standing in the foyer waiting for me. I grabbed Jessie's diaper bag, which was doubling as my purse for the time being and then ushered the kids out the door and towards the car.

Jenny jumped into the back seat first, buckling herself in and then assisting me in buckling Jessie into her car seat. Jamie then buckled himself into his booster seat and that just left me jumping into the driver's seat and getting us on the road.

"Can we listen to your CD momma?" Jamie asked as we drove, "Me and Savannah listen to it all the time in Tree Hill."

"Yeah?" I snuck a glance at him in my rearview mirror, "I have more than one CD kiddo. Which one do you wanna listen to?"

"The one that has the song about Cinderella on it." Jamie said.

"Ahh… my first CD." Keeping my eyes on the road, I reached under the passenger seat into a drawer and grabbed a few CD's, hoping my debut album was in there somewhere. Luckily, it was in the first group I pulled out.

I stuck it in the CD player and moved the sound so it played mostly in the back where the kids were sitting. I kept the CD in my car but I very rarely listened to it. Listening to myself was not exactly my idea of fun, although of all the albums I had come out with in the last 5 years, the first one was definitely my favorite. There was just so much emotion and love poured into it.

It didn't take us long to get to the small attraction park where I usually took Jenny to play mini-golf. We headed inside and Jenny led Jamie directly to the counter where we would pay for the golf game.

"Mom, is Jessie playing too?" Jenny asked as we waited to be helped at the counter.

"No, she's too little." I replied.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The girl at the counter asked.

"Three for mini-golf please." Jenny ordered happily.

The girl grinned.

"Okay. Whose playing? You two right?" She asked Jenny and Jamie.

They both nodded vigorously.

"And my mom." Jenny said, pointing to me.

"We can just carry the baby with us right?" I asked and the girl nodded.

"I'll be right back." She headed off to grab golf clubs and then returned with a bucket of colorful balls, "What color do you want cuties?"

Jenny reached in and grabbed a pink ball immediately. Jamie picked out a blue one.

"Jess, pick out a ball for mommy." I let Jessie lean forward and she grabbed a purple ball for me.

Knowing she would throw it if I let her hold onto it too long I thanked her and took it then handed it to Jamie to hold. I set Jessie down next to Jenny and then fished out my wallet so I could pay for the game.

When she had finished running my credit card she handed me the receipt. I stuffed it into my jeans pocket and then took Jessie's hand, leading the kids out to the miniature golf courses were.

"Alright, pick one. Course 1 or course 2?"

"1." Jenny said simply.

"2." Jamie countered.

"You don't even know what miniature golf is. You can't pick." Jenny argued with Jamie.

"I can too. Momma, I wanna do course #2." Jamie looked up at me and pouted.

I sighed.

"Let's play course 2 first." I looked at Jenny sternly when she began to pout, "Jamie has never played before so we should let him choose and then when we're done, if you still want to, we can play course 1 okay?"

"That's not fair. He gets to pick everything just cause he's your favorite."

"Jenny!" I scoffed at her, "That's not true. I love you all equally."

"Let's just play." Jenny didn't acknowledge I had said anything to her as we stood at hole #1 for course 2, "You can go first Jamie since this is the course you wanted to play even though it's stupid just like you."

"Jennifer Olivia Jagielski," I set Jessie down on the bench and made Jamie watch her while I kneeled in front of Jenny, "This is not how today is going to go okay? You are going to be nice and you're going to acknowledge when I talk to you. Understand?"

"You're not even my real mom." Jenny said spitefully and immediately tears sprang to my eyes. She had never, ever said anything about me not being her birth mother. I had never told her. I didn't think Jake had ever told her.

"Who told you that?" I demanded.

Jenny didn't answer. She just stared at me blankly.

"Jenny, who told you that?"

At this point groups were coming behind us, waiting for us to move so they could play the course. I was on the verge of tears. Jamie was absently entertaining Jessie but Jenny just stared at me, not uttering a word.

"We're leaving." I stood and picked up Jessie, apologizing to the group of teens behind us waiting patiently, "Let's go. Now."

"Momma, I don't wanna go. I wanna play." Jamie started to whine, "Please!"

I quickly wiped away a tear and turned around to face him as he stood and plead with me. Jenny stood next to him, staring at the ground, her shoulders slumped. I noticed a single tear fall and puddle at her feet and immediately my anger subsided. I kneeled down and I pulled Jenny into my free arm, cradling her as she truly started to sob. She felt fragile in my arms as if anything could break her in that moment. I didn't like that feeling.

"We're gonna go home and talk okay?" I comforted her, "Just you and me."

She shook her head no.

"No?" I pulled away so she would be forced to look at me, "You don't wanna talk?"

"I don't wanna ruin the day for Jamie." She sniffled and wiped away her tears, looking over at Jamie who was pouting, "Can we stay and play? And still go to the aquarium and Build-a-Bear?"

"If that's what you want sweetie but we don't have to. We can bring Jamie here tomorrow."

Jenny shook her head no.

"I wanna stay."

I was tempted to tell her no and whisk her back to the safety of our home so I could talk to her. So I could figure out what she knew and who had told her and how I could fix it. I didn't care what biology said, Jenny was my daughter. She had been for the past 5 years and that wasn't going to change now, no matter what happened between Jake and I.

"Okay." I kissed her forehead softly and stood back up, balancing Jessie on my hip, "Let's play course 1 okay Jamie? It's Jenny's favorite."

Jamie nodded.

"As long as we can stay, we can do anything." Jamie agreed.

"Thank you Jamie." Jenny took a deep breath and turned back into the strong girl I knew her to be, rather than the fragile little girl she had been a second ago, "I'm sorry I was mean to you."

"It's okay Jenny." Jamie hugged her, "You're still the best big sister ever."

I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling. I followed her as she led Jamie to course 1 and showed him how to play miniature golf. She taught him how to aim the ball and how to hit gently. My mind comprehended what was going on but I wasn't truly present.

I was trying to figure out how Jenny knew, how long she had known, how she felt about it and most importantly, what did this all mean in the big picture? Would she not want to be around me anymore if Jake and I split? Would I not only lose my husband but my daughter too?

"Mom, it's your turn." Jenny called out to me.

Her smile was one that made it seem as if she had not almost had an emotional break down just a few short minutes ago.

"Sorry. I spaced for a minute." I snapped out of my reverie and set Jessie down to stand next to Jenny as I moved up to the hole, "My turn."

We played 18 full holes of miniature golf and for the hour and a half that it took; it was as if nothing was troubling us at all. The kids laughed, especially when I let Jessie try to hit the ball and she threw the golf club instead. Jenny won which is how it usually worked when she and I came here. Jamie loved every second of learning how to play, despite being not so great at it and after we were finished, instead of heading for the aquarium we stayed at the attraction center, ate hot dogs, and then played in the arcade until it was mid-afternoon. By that time Jessie was cranky and ready for a nap and we had played every game in the arcade at least once, so I figured it was time to leave.

"Can we still go to Build-a-Bear?" Jenny asked as we all headed for the car.

Jessie had passed out in my arms the moment I had picked her up and I sighed. The car ride to the nearest Build-a-Bear was long enough that she could get a short nap in so I didn't see why we couldn't still go, but then again, if she was still cranky when we got there, the experience would not be good.

"Please momma?" Jamie begged.

"Fine." I caved easily. "Buckle up. We'll go to Build-a-Bear."

We got stuck in traffic but eventually we made it to the Build-a-Bear workshop. It had taken just over an hour. Had to love traffic in Los Angeles.

Jenny and Jamie piled out of the car. I pulled Jessie out of her car seat and she stirred. It wasn't until we were inside that she fully awakened, her eyes widening at the array of colors. All the stuffed animals, machines to assist in stuffing your own animals and colorful outfits lining the walls must have thoroughly fascinated her.

"I have an idea." Jamie announced as we looked at the wall where we would pick out the animal we wanted, "Why don't we all design one for each other instead of designing our own?"

"That's a good idea Jamie." I said instantly, "Jenny?"

Jenny nodded.

"Can I design one for daddy?" She asked.

"Sure." I grinned at her, "Jamie? Who do you want to design for?"

"You." He said with a large smile, "Okay, so then Jessie and I will design three. One for each of you and one for Jessie okay?"

They agreed and then it started. Trying to keep it secretive, they each started to pick out animals. Jamie was not as secretive as he thought he was being.

"Um momma?"

"Yes Jamie?" I replied, hiding the un-stuffed bunny I had chosen for him behind my back.

"What's your favorite animal?"

I laughed quietly.

"I like penguins." I told him.

"Okay, thanks."

I pretended not to look as he went directly to the penguin barrel and grabbed an un-stuffed penguin, heading to the next station immediately.

"Jessie, pick out an animal baby." I let Jessie look over the vast array of animals and finally, when she got excited about one, I let her reach down and grab it.

She picked out what they called a "scruffy puppy."

"Good choice." I kissed her cheek and took hers along with the bunny for Jamie and the lamb I had chosen for Jenny to the "stuffing" station.

"Hi sweetheart!" The lady working the stuffing station tickled Jessie who giggled happily, "What are we making for you today huh?"

"Puppy." Jessie said excitedly, handing it to the lady whose nametag read "Kathy."

"Alright, you gotta help me though. You ready?"

I set Jessie down so she could stand with Kathy while they readied the puppy for stuffing.

"Alright, tell mom to help us countdown. 1...2..."

Jessie tapped me on the leg to make sure I was participating and together we counted to three before Kathy started filling the puppy with stuffing. Jessie squealed happily while she watched what kind of looked like the animal coming to life.

After the stuffing they helped her put a heart into the animal and then sew it shut so that she could take it to the grooming station while I completed the other two with Kathy.

"How old is she?" Kathy asked as she stuffed the bunny and lamb and I watched Jessie closely.

"18 months." I replied with a grin, "Growing bigger every day."

"They all do." Kathy laughed.

"Those two are mine too." I pointed to Jenny and Jamie who were busy picking out clothes for the animals they had made, with the help of another store employee.

"Beautiful family." Kathy winked at me, "Have fun."

She handed me the last two completed animals and I thanked her before I headed over to help Jessie finish "grooming" her puppy and then head over to pick out clothes and accessories.

"Is your puppy a boy or a girl?" I asked Jessie.

"Um…" She frowned as she considered it, "Gwl."

"Okay, so do you want to put her in a dress or pajamas or…"

"Pamas!" She exclaimed excitedly, "Pamas."

It was her way of saying pajamas. I laughed and nodded, showing her all the pajamas they had to choose from.

"Look, they have Hello Kitty." I showed her a ruffled pink pajama set, "You like that one?"

She shook her head no so we continued to look.

"What about the frogs?" I pointed to pink frog pajamas and she again shook her head no, moving instead to look at the "costume" clothing.

After a second's deliberation she grabbed a ladybug fairy outfit and held it up.

"Dis." She said resolutely, "Dis."

That meant she wanted it so I let one of the friendly associates assist Jessie in dressing her dog while I chose outfits for Jamie and Jenny's animals.

It was pretty easy to decide to put Jamie's bunny in a basketball uniform and since Nathan had played for the Atlanta Hawks, I figured that would be Jamie's favorite team. I put it in the team uniform complete with basketball, basketball hoop, all-star sweat bands, white socks and white tennis shoes.

Jenny's was a little harder to figure out. There were adorable regular girly clothes, which could be accessorized, or there were costumes. There was also Disney themed clothing and I knew she loved Hannah Montana just like most 7-year-old girls but I still wasn't sure.

"Look." Jessie showed me her dressed puppy and I grinned.

"That is a beautiful puppy. Now you have to name her. What are you gonna call her?"

Jessie's eyes went wide as if she were considering all the possibilities at once and it was mind-boggling.

"Mom?" Jenny ran over to me and I quickly hid her lamb, "Are we naming our own animals or naming each others animals?"

"Um… probably we should name our own don't you think?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"So who's gonna name daddy's?"

"You." I grinned and she grinned back, "You name daddy's and then you can name yours too. Will you take Jessie with you and you and Jamie can help her name her puppy?"

"Jess! That's your puppy!" Jenny exclaimed excitedly when she saw Jessie's puppy, "She's beautiful. Did you dress her all by yourself?"

Jessie pointed to the girl who helped her and then let Jenny lead her away to go name the stuffed animal.

"You need help?" The girl who worked there asked as I stared blankly at the wall.

"Well, I picked out the basketball stuff for my son's bunny." I showed her all of Jamie's stuff, not yet put together but grouped in one spot, "But now I have to figure out what to dress my daughter's lamb in and I'm having a hard time choosing."

"Yeah, boys are usually easier." The girl agreed, going over and picking up Jamie's bunny and accessories, "I'll get this one dressed while you debate. And just so you know, she really liked the pink quilted vest so you might wanna go with something that works with that."

She winked at me before she walked away and I immediately found the vest she was talking about. It was hot pink with a furry hood and I laughed. It looked exactly like one Jenny had at home. It was perfect, so all I had to do was pick out a matching outfit, which didn't take long. After adding sunglasses, a purse and cute shoes to match, I quickly dressed the lamb and then I headed off with both animals in hand to give them to the kids.

"For you." I handed Jamie his bunny and he jumped up and down excitedly.

"Awesome!" He exclaimed, "Basketball bunny!"

"And for you." I gave Jenny her lamb and she grinned from ear to ear.

"I have a vest just like this!" She said, echoing my earlier thoughts, "I love it. Thank you mom."

"You're welcome baby girl." I hugged them both as they squeezed me tight, "Now get to naming them."

They raced to the computer to name their animals and I forgot that I was supposed to have one too until Jamie raced back and handed me my penguin, completely decked out as a rock star complete with guitar and microphone. I couldn't help but laugh.

"A rock star penguin huh?" I grinned and leaned down to kiss his forehead, "Thank you Jimmy Jam."

"You're welcome Momma."

It took awhile but when we were finally done naming our animals we collected all five in their own bear condos and headed back to the car. Minus the one meltdown at the miniature golf course earlier, we had managed to have an amazing day. The kind of day I could guarantee I would remember for a long time to come. Especially since I had Jammer, my rock star penguin to remind me.

"So, what'd you name your lamb Jenny?" I asked as we drove home.

I watched the three kids in the back seat, each playing with their own animal.

"Hannah." She replied easily.

"Like Hannah Montana?" I tried to hold in my laughter.

"Yep."

Sometimes she was so predictable.

"What about you Jamie? What'd you name your bunny?"

"Chester." Jamie said as if it was a completely normal name.

"Chester?" Jenny questioned with a frown, "Why Chester?"

"Because." Jamie shrugged, clearly feeling like he didn't need to give a better reason, "I like it."

"Okay… weirdo." Jenny sighed, "And Jessie named her puppy Kat. Which is perfect right? Cause it's a dog but she named it Kat?"

I laughed loudly that time.

"That is perfect."

We didn't arrive home until 5:30 PM and I sighed, tossing all the stuff we had collected during the day to the side, vowing to pick it up later.

"Go get changed into your PJ's. I'm ordering pizza and we are all going to watch movies and eat pizza together okay?"

"Yeah!" Jenny and Jamie raced upstairs together, Jessie following them up the stairs slowly.

"Help your sister!" I called out to the older kids who returned to help Jessie upstairs.

When they were safely upstairs and changing, I headed for the kitchen and sighed, picking up the house phone to check the messages.

"Hey babe, it's me." Jake's voice came through in the only message we had, "I will probably be late coming home. We're working really hard at the studio so… I don't know when I'm gonna get there. I uh, I hope you guys are having a great day and just in case you aren't awake when I get home, I love you and tell the kids I love them too. Okay."

The message ended and I groaned, setting the phone back on the cradle before I let my head fall into my hands. I was so tired of Jake evading conversation with me. I was tired of all the stress and avoidance that filled my marriage as of late. I was tired of the excessive drinking, and the coming home late. The partying and the general laissez-faire attitude Jake had developed was getting old fast. I was just plain tired.

I found the phone number for the pizza company and quickly ordered a couple of pizza's with toppings I knew my kids could agree on before I headed upstairs to check on them and change into my own PJ's.

"What movie are we going to watch?" Jenny asked, exiting Jessie's room with Jessie in tow, both of them successfully changed into pajamas.

"I don't know." I replied honestly, "Think you and your brother can look through the movie collection and agree on one?"

"No." Jenny said simply, "We don't ever agree on anything."

"Make it happen." I patted the top of her head, smiled, and then headed into my own room.

While I changed I checked my cell phone for missed calls. I hadn't missed any calls all day. I also hadn't answered any. Which left me wondering why, if Jake couldn't reach us at the house, he hadn't called my cell phone. It didn't make sense except to prove that he was purposely avoiding talking to me. The idea just cemented into my brain that things needed to change around here.

"Alright kids." I entered the living room in my favorite short & tank top pajamas, pulling my hair up into a loose bun, "What are we watching?"

"Jamie wants to watch The Incredibles. I think we should watch Monster's Inc." Jenny replied, "I told you we wouldn't agree on one."

"Well, since we golfed your course Jenny, maybe we should let Jamie watch the movie he wants to watch." I accepted the DVD case that Jamie handed me and looked at the back to see the length of the movie, "115 min. That's almost 2 hours which is perfect. It's about 5:45 now. By the time we get our food, settle in and start the movie it will be a little past 6 so when the movie is over it will be bed time."

Jenny groaned but accepted defeat and put her movie back into the movie cabinet.

"Fine. We can watch Jamie's movie."

"Thank you Jenny." Jamie was grinning widely as he went to settle on the couch, "Momma, will you sit next to me?"

"Is daddy coming home for dinner?" Jenny asked before I could answer Jamie's question.

I shook my head no to Jenny and then looked to Jamie.

"Yes, I will sit next to you but be forewarned, when Jessie gets tired she's gonna want to cuddle and when she wants to cuddle she doesn't like to share me, so we might have to adjust mid-movie okay?"

"Okay." Jamie nodded.

"Can I sit in daddy's chair since he won't be here?" Jenny asked, plopping herself into Jake's special recliner.

"Yes you can." I told her, "But first, will you please go pour 4 cups of juice? One for each of us and make sure you put Jessie's in a sippy cup. Jamie, you go with her and get four plates set out on the counter okay? So that when the pizza gets here, we'll be ready."

They disappeared leaving me to watch Jessie sit in the middle of the room, still playing with Kat, her new stuffed puppy.

For a minute the quiet overwhelmed me. My thoughts went back to Jake and I was barely able to keep myself from crying. It was as if suddenly all the emotion built up inside me towards my marriage was literally going to spill over. I was still undecided on what to do but every second Jake wasn't around made my decision easier. Every second he spent away from his family helped to spur me along. It didn't make me any less emotional though.

The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts, and I made sure Jenny was back in the living room watching Jessie before I headed to answer.

I collected the pizza's from the pizza guy and tipped him generously. Just 15 short minutes later the four of us were curled up in front of the TV, happily eating pizza and watching The Incredibles.

We watched the movie in relative silence. Every once in awhile Jamie would speak a line along with one of the characters and I had to giggle, realizing just how many times he must have seen this movie. As predicted, mid-movie Jessie crawled into my lap and pushed Jamie away so that he couldn't cuddle up to me any longer. Luckily he took it in stride and moved so he was leaning against the arm of the couch instead, giving me space to let Jessie stretch out and fall asleep.

By the end of the movie Jamie was yawning every 2.5 seconds. Jenny's eyes were fluttering halfway between consciousness and slumber and Jessie was out cold.

"Alright, come on. Bed." I stood with Jessie in my arms and corralled the other two towards the stairs, "Up, up."

They slowly made their way up the stairs and into their individual bedrooms.

I tucked Jessie into her bed first, making sure to tuck Kat in next to her. She had already become very attached to the stuffed animal.

Jamie was next, but by the time I made it to his room he was already asleep. I tucked him in, kissed his forehead and switched out the light. It had been a long day so I wasn't surprised at how tired they all were.

I was headed out of Jenny's room after tucking her in and kissing her good night also when she stopped me.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" I turned around and smiled at her.

"Even if you're not my real mom, you still love me right?"

The tears immediately returned to my eyes and I nodded, moving back into her room and sitting on the edge of her bed so I could look into her eyes.

"Every moment of every day, you are MY daughter okay and there is not a second when I don't love you." I took a deep breath, "Will you tell me now who told you that I'm not your real mom?"

She frowned.

"Uncle Ben."

I made a mental note to kill my former guitarist/slash Jenny's biological Uncle from Nikki's side. She had always called him Uncle Ben, because he was always close with us and he was always around. It was like Sienna calling me Aunt Haley. I wasn't actually her Aunt but I was friend's with her mom. We just never felt the need to explain "Uncle Ben" was ACTUALLY her uncle.

"And what exactly did he tell you?" I questioned her.

"He didn't say anything to me directly. It was last week when he was over here with daddy and I went to go see what they were doing and I heard them talking about this lady named Nikki and it didn't make any sense to me until Uncle Ben asked daddy if he was ever going to tell me that you weren't my real mom. It didn't make sense at first but I heard daddy say that he would have to tell me eventually, especially if you guys get a divorce and I got scared."

"Oh honey…" I leaned down and hugged her tight, "Why didn't you ask me immediately?"

"I was scared mommy." Jenny hadn't called me "mommy" since she was Jamie's age and I let a tear fall, realizing how much I missed hearing the word come from her mouth, "I don't want daddy to take me away from you. I don't care what anyone says. To me you're my mom."

"I am your mom Jen." I hugged her tighter, "Let me explain okay?"

She nodded and I went to work telling her about Nikki. I didn't leave anything out. I didn't feel like I needed to. She was 7 but she was very mature for her age and as our family would undoubtedly be going through some tough times soon, I figured it was better to just be 100% honest with her so she could be prepared.

I explained that Jake had been in high school when she was born and Nikki had left when she was born, too scared to be a real parent. I told her about the custody struggles Nikki and Jake had gone through before we had even graduated high school and explained that at the time I had been married to Nathan.

"But if you were married to Uncle Nathan, how come you're married to my dad now?"

"Things didn't work out between me and Nathan. We went our separate ways and I married your daddy instead." It would have been too hard to explain to her the full story, so I summed it up quickly, "Your dad and I shared a passion for music and for you. You two moved in here, he helped me write my first album. He helped me record the album and we rose to stardom together. Thus our family was born."

Jenny sighed.

"If you and daddy get a divorce, will I still be able to see you? I love you too much to lose you." Her eyes fluttered closed and I was pretty sure she was asleep before I could answer.

"I'll make sure you get to see me." I whispered, kissing her forehead, "I love you too much to lose you either."

With one last check in on each of the kids, I headed downstairs to clean up and put away our pizza mess. At the bottom of the stairs I ran directly into Jake who was entering the house quietly.

"Hi." He smiled at me like he had just been caught red-handed doing something he wasn't supposed to do.

"Hi." I folded my arms over my chest and watched him for a minute.

He strummed his fingers uneasily against his leg as we just stood there in silence for a minute.

"How was your day?" Jake finally asked.

"It was great." I said instantly and then added, "Well, except that I had to explain to Jenny all about Nikki and how I'm not her biological mother."

I turned to walk away before Jake could respond.

"What?" Jake exclaimed, following me to the kitchen, "You… why?"

"She got upset about something when I took them miniature golfing and was being mean to Jamie, so when I scolded her she looked at me and told me I wasn't her real mom. Of course that upset me and it upset her but we didn't really get to talk about it because we were out with Jamie and Jessie and she didn't want to ruin the day for Jamie so she wouldn't let me bring them home so instead I got to tell her the whole story when she asked me about it while I was tucking her into bed."

"How in the hell did she find out about that?"

"Apparently she heard you and Ben talking about it." I looked at him, raising an eyebrow, "You telling Ben you would have to tell Jenny I wasn't her real mom if you and I got a divorce. Conversation ring a bell?"

"Haley, I…" Jake closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize she heard us and…"

"Are you really gonna take her from me?" I stared him straight in the eyes, "If we get a divorce, you're not gonna let me have partial custody?"

"She's MY daughter Haley." Jake said a little too quickly for my liking. He backtracked even more quickly, "No, wait… that came out wrong."

"You're a dick." I said simply, "I have raised that little girl for the past five years."

"Uh, minus the 6 months you spent shacking up with Nathan while you were pregnant with Jamie." Jake retorted. He sounded almost angry.

"I was 18 and confused Jake. I was getting a divorce and you KNEW how things were with Nathan and I. It was an irrational decision for us to use sex to make sure we were doing the right thing but it resulted in Jamie and for that I cannot apologize. I'm sorry for hurting you but I got Jamie out of it! You really want me to tell you I regret that? I don't and you were supposed to forgive me."

"I did forgive you. I married you didn't I?" Jake closed his eyes and groaned, "Look, none of this is coming out how I want it to come out okay? I…"

I gave him a second without interrupting him despite how badly I wanted to in that moment.

"I forgave you a long time ago for the whole Nathan thing. For God's sake, you two were still married when you and I started getting together and I… It's forgotten okay? And Jenny is your daughter too. You've given everything to her. You've loved her as if you gave birth to her. If it didn't require Nikki's approval, I would have let you adopt Jenny a long time ago but… That's not the point Haley. Do you want to divorce me?"

"No." I replied quickly, "I don't want to divorce you Jake but I don't know what to do anymore. You party until all hours of the night. You drink so much it's ridiculous. You're not the man I fell in love with anymore. You're this shell of the man I fell in love with. You look like him but you are NOT him and I'm just sick of it. You tell me you're gonna call me when you're on your way home. Instead you leave a message on the house phone, don't call my cell phone, and then you try to sneak in when you assume you won't run into me. It's 8:30 Jake. Where did you think I would be? Asleep?"

"No." Jake looked guilty. I wasn't sure which part of my tirade had made him feel guilty but every inch of his face was covered in guilt. His stance even resembled guilt, "Honestly I was hoping that you would be but I assumed you wouldn't be. I just… I've been trying to put off this conversation for a while. I don't want to make a decision on our marriage. I have a feeling the decision you're leaning towards is not a positive one.

"What decision do I really have Jake?" I wasn't going to keep beating around the bush. I needed to lay it all out, "We can't continue living the way we are living. If we do, I will eventually resent you to the point that I will either kill you or leave you anyway. One, we can separate. No divorce but we'll still be apart. I'll move to Tree Hill and we will hope that somehow, someway we work this out. I doubt it would work, but we could hope. Two, we could divorce, go our separate ways and chalk it up to experience. But Jake, if you really want this marriage to work, which I do, you will choose option three and clean up your act, buy out your damn contract, and move to Tree Hill with me so we can really work on this. Those are our choices. What do you think?"

Jake stared at me. He was wringing his hands nervously. Tension was quickly replacing the guilt written on his face and it was embedded in the way he was holding himself. This was it, the moment of truth. What would he choose?

Apparently he wasn't going to choose at all. He stood and stared at me for a good ten minutes before I groaned and threw my hands up in the air.

"Fine Jake. I'll be the bad guy. I'll choose and I choose divorce but dammit, I want joint custody of Jenny. Biologically she may be all yours but emotionally, she is just as much mine as she is yours."

I couldn't stop the tears that began as soon as I had said the words. This was not the way I wanted it to end. I didn't want it to end at all.

"Wait…" Jake moved and pulled me into his arms, "Don't make this decision Haley. It's the wrong decision. It's… We can work this out."

"How?" I tried to wipe the tears away but they kept falling, "How do we work this out? Are you gonna stop drinking?"

"I'll try."

"Not good enough." I began to cry harder, "Try is not good enough. You have to MAKE it happen!"

"Then I will!" Jake exclaimed, "I will make it happen. I'll stop. Right now."

"Are you gonna move to Tree Hill with me?"

He paused, not answering immediately.

"I have a contract…"

"Buy it out." I repeated my earlier words, "Buy it out so we can move on with our lives."

"I…" Jake sighed, "They're offering me a huge tour Haley. Solo, headlining, international tour. You left so I'm their biggest artist now and I… we can't turn this down. It's huge."

"It's a job Jake. You can find a new job."

"But this is my dream. Our dream! We both wanted to sing and tour and have hit records…"

"I got all those things Jake and I'm not happy." I told him honestly, "The tours, the hit records, the money… I'm not happy. All I want is my family. You, me, Jenny, Jamie and Jessie. That's it."

"I still want everything we talked about when we got married. I still want the hit records and the dream…"

I nodded slowly, fully understanding the crossroads we were at now. He wasn't ready to give up the business and I was long past it. He still wanted the fame and fortune. I just wanted to be normal, to have a normal family back in my home town where I could surround myself with friends and my children, laughter and relaxation…

"Separation then." I said after a few minutes debate, "Maybe this will work itself out. When you get your dream, the international tour and the hit records. When you get the fame and the fortune that you are so desperately clinging to, maybe I'll still be waiting for you. Then again, maybe I won't."

I started to head out of the kitchen but Jake grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking away.

"Haley, please…"

"I'm moving to Tree Hill… before Jamie's birthday which is in two weeks." I looked him straight in the eyes and I could see my own heart breaking in his tears, "I'm taking Jenny and Jessie with me. You can try to stop me if you really want to but I think deep down, you know this is an ultimatum. You have to choose your family or your career right now… and I think we both know what you're choosing."

He didn't pull me back when I pulled my arm from his grasp. I turned back for just a second.

"Your daughter made you a Build-a-Bear today. It's in its condo sitting in your chair in the family room. Hope you like it."

I didn't wait for him to respond. I turned and headed for my bed, falling into it upstairs as my tears began to fall in cascades like waterfalls. I prayed that Jake would follow me. I waited to hear the footsteps outside my bedroom door. I wanted him to come in, curl up beside me and hold me. To hear him tell me it would all be okay and we would work things out. I just wanted to know that he cared enough to fight for us.

I thought about my two marriages while I waited, hoping Jake would come. With Nathan it had ended because I hadn't fought for it. I had given up and let him go, choosing my career and my dreams over him, just like Jake was doing now. In retrospect, I wasn't sure if I would have done anything differently, but I was 23 years old with two failed marriages under my belt. How does something like that even happen?

I didn't want to lose Jake. I didn't want to lose the family we had or the love we shared. I tried to see it from his point of view but I wasn't sure I could anymore.

Sure, there had been a time when all I wanted was the international tours, the fame, and the fortune. When the music was real and I connected with audiences that just so happened to adore me, buy my albums, buy my merchandise… anything I touched was golden.

My disconnection with the industry had started on a normal day, much like today. Jessie was only about 4 months old. Jamie had been visiting and the four of us, Jenny included, had gone out to get lunch at a McDonald's. Just a regular, normal family outing which had quickly turned into a spectacle. Paparazzi surrounded the car, the lights from their cameras flashed and my children had cried. Fans wanted autographs but I was carrying Jessie and at the same time trying to protect the older children. The pictures had ended up front page of every tabloid magazine and website with the headline "Haley James, in over her head?"

I knew then that I was done. I obligatorily finished up the final album in my contract and severed my ties, focusing instead on my children. I didn't sign autographs. I didn't talk to paparazzi. I fought for my privacy and eventually I got it. Unfortunately, it seemed that was when the downhill spiral of my marriage had begun.

I wanted Jake to fight for us like I had fought for our family. I wanted him to see what I had seen. The kids and our family were more important than anything else. I wanted him to follow me into our bedroom and tell me everything was going to be okay, but I cried myself to sleep while I waited and when dawn broke, Jake still wasn't there.


	11. Chapter 11: Vegas

_**Author's Note: OMG, I'm so sorry that it's taken so long to get this chapter up you guys. I never intended for it to take this long but I totally got wrapped up in reading the Twilight saga of books. I read all four in less than five days and ever since then, my mind has really been wrapped up in it. Ideas everywhere for stories and just very emotionally caught up in it. It's hard to explain without sounding crazy but I got the same way with One Tree Hill when I first started watching it 7 years ago so it's been a crazy week! Top that off with the fact that I'm moving to a new place so my condo is in shambles! Yeah... I know, excuses, excuses. Anyway, here is your chapter! It's kind of important so read carefully! :) Enjoy!**_

**Chapter Eleven**

**Vegas**

**Savannah POV**

"Seriously Nathan?" I raised an eyebrow at Nathan as we lounged by the pool in my backyard, "Have you met me?"

"Yes and I think we'll have fun. Come on. Jamie's coming home soon and then his birthday and then school is going to be starting… Jamie's starting Pre-K. It's our last chance before life gets in the way again. Do you know how long it's been since I had a real vacation?"

"Nathan, I am an alcoholic. You don't take alcoholic's to Las Vegas."

"You'll be with me the whole time. We will have non-alcoholic fun. Go to a club. Dance. Gamble." Nathan pouted, "Please?"

"You're a jerk. You know I can't say no to you." I groaned, laying back down and closing my eyes as I soaked up the sun's rays, "Can't we go to like… Tahiti or something? There's a lot less temptation in Tahiti."

"Vegas is Sin City and you…" I felt the rays of the sun suddenly disappear and I opened my eyes to find Nathan hovering over me, "You make me want to sin."

His lips crushed mine, his body lowering onto me, melding us together. He was just wearing his swim trunks and me, a small bikini. It was mostly skin to skin contact and yet still chaste, just kisses.

Ever since we had kissed at Haley's house a few weeks ago, our relationship had been progressing. No labels. No pressure. No commitment, but progression. We kissed but mostly we just hung out, and we talked, like we used to. It was nice. I was enjoying not being scared anymore.

"You're still a jerk." I muttered when Nathan moved to the side, breaking our lips' connection.

He grinned and settled into the chaise with me, cuddling me against his chest.

"But you'll go with me right? One week vacation in Las Vegas?"

"Yes, I'll go with you." I sighed, "When do we leave?"

I knew he would be able to answer with absolution. I knew he was only asking out of courtesy. He knew I was going to say yes so I could bet with 100% assurance, he had already bought our plane tickets.

"Tonight." He squeezed me tight and kissed my shoulder, "You're amazing. We need to pack."

He had disappeared inside the house before I could say a word. I watched him run past the pool table, into the living room and disappear around the corner to head upstairs. He was clearly excited.

I grabbed my phone by the nearby patio table and dialed a familiar number, holding the phone to my ear, waiting for an answer. After several echoes the line went to voicemail.

"Hey, you know who you've reached and you know what to do. The beep's coming up!"

The phone beeped and I sighed.

"Hey… it's me. Um, I am going to Las Vegas for a week and while I'm confident that I can handle it since I am going with my best friend and he promises to take care of me, I uh… I think I might need to talk to my rehab buddy and that would be you. So… call me back."

I hung up and resigned myself to really go pack. I had already told Nathan yes, so I couldn't back out now. Plus, I felt like it would be a great vacation, I just… wasn't as confident as I wanted to be about my ability to resist temptation. The alcoholic kind or the Nathan kind.

"Where are we staying in Vegas?" I called out to Nathan from my room to his.

"Encore." He called back.

"Ooh, fancy."

From what I had heard, Encore was the newest and most expensive luxury suites hotel in Vegas. It was supposed to be fabulous with amazing restaurants, décor and more. That part of the trip might actually be exciting.

"It is fancy." Nathan entered my room and smiled at me, "Only the best for you right?"

"Better be." I smiled back at him, "One week in Vegas huh? What do I pack for that?"

I headed for the closet and looked it over. I needed a bigger one. There were so many clothes in this closet that they were almost impossible to see without pulling them out to get a better look.

"Can you come here and help me for a second?" I asked Nathan.

He was with me in the closet almost immediately.

"Take these…" I pulled a chunk of about 10 hangers from the top rack of the closet, "Put them on my bed."

We repeated the process until half of my clothes were spread around the room on various surfaces to be displayed and the other half were spread out in my closet so I could get a good look at everything I owned.

"This is gonna take awhile isn't it?" Nathan laughed, looking around at the expansive collection.

"No." I shook my head decisively, "Now that I see what I have this should be fairly easy actually. Are you done packing?"

He shook his head no.

"Well, shoo fly. Go pack and I'll be done when you are."

"You sure about that?" Nathan didn't look like he believed me.

"Positive." I winked at him, "Get out of my room."

It really didn't take very long before I had packed a large suitcase of clothing to go to Vegas with me. I had a second suitcase full of purses, accessories, and shoes. In Vegas there tended to be paparazzi and if Nathan and I were going to be photographed together in public, it was going to be important for me to look good. It was an added bonus that being photographed would allow the world to see how much better I was doing. I wanted everyone to know I wasn't the same girl who had stripped naked on the Victoria's Secret runway.

"No way." Nathan stepped back into my room and looked at the zipped suitcases by my bed, "You're not done."

"I told you I would be." I responded, reaching underneath my hair to clip my necklace around my neck.

I had already managed to change into a comfortable yet semi-glamorous traveling outfit and the necklace had been the final touch. My hair was brushed and styled, just the top tuft pulled back with a small clip so it wasn't hanging in my face. The colorful pink and white scarf that I had set on top of my suitcases would accent my simple black tank top and dark wash jeans.

I stood there, staring at Nathan's look of disbelief and silently giggling. He really hadn't thought I would get ready that quickly.

"So when do we leave?" I asked.

"Um…" Nathan took a deep breath and his gaze returned to look me in the eyes, "Flight leaves at 6:00. It's 2:15 right now. You want to get something to eat first?"

"Sure." I nodded, "Give me a few minutes to just call Peyton and make sure she's doing alright. She's still been really sick and even though Xander's there, I worry about her."

"Okay." Nathan agreed, "I will take your suitcases and load them in the car, okay?"

I gave him my okay and he headed out while I sat down on my bed and waited for Peyton to pick up the phone.

"Hola." Sienna answered the phone instead and I grinned.

"Hola, cómo está?" I responded, asking her how she was doing.

"Muy bien." Sienna laughed, "You wanna talk to mommy?"

"Yes, thank you sweetie."

"You're welcome Aunt Savannah." Sienna sounded like she was walking, "Mommy, it's Aunt Savannah."

"Thank you. Go upstairs and brush your teeth now please." Peyton sighed as she took the phone, "Hi Savannah."

"Hey you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright today. Actually, I was just getting ready to call you. You wanna go to lunch with Xander, the kids, and I?"

"Well, Nathan and I are getting ready to fly off to Vegas for a week but we were gonna grab lunch first so I don't see why not."

"You and Nathan alone in Vegas huh?" I could hear the intrigue in her voice, "Sounds naughty."

"Stop it." I rejected her comments, "I already told you, we are taking things slow. He just wants to take a little vacation before Jamie comes home."

"If that's your story." Peyton laughed again, "Meet us at Karen's in like 20 minutes okay?"

"Okay." I agreed, "Bye."

"Bye."

I tossed my phone into my purse and headed downstairs, meeting Nathan in the foyer.

"Lunch with Peyton, Xander and the fam-bam at Karen's. You cool with that?"

I knew he would be but common courtesy required I ask.

"Yeah. You ready?"

"I'm ready."

We were apparently taking Nathan's car because he had loaded our bags into it, even though driving his Escalade took more gas and it was harder to park.

"I know how you feel about the Escalade and usually I let you drive your toy car but we're driving mine today. Stop looking at me like that."

I raised an eyebrow at him and nodded. We both knew he knew what I wanted to say but I resisted. I held up my hands in surrender and followed him willingly.

When we pulled up to Karen's it turned out it wasn't just Peyton, Xander and the kids; it was our entire extended family. Peyton, Xander, the kids, Lucas, Brooke, Bevin, Skills, Karen, Larry and Lily. The café had been closed to outside business and all the tables had been moved into one big one in the middle of the room where there was already an elaborate spread of food laid out.

"Hi!" Nathan and I entered the café and immediate chaos ensued.

There were greetings and hugs and talking over one another for a good ten minutes before we finally settled in at the table and lunch began. I was a little confused, but the way Peyton and Xander were glancing back and forth at each other, I had a feeling they had set this up to make some sort of announcement. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long to find out.

Xander stood, cleared his throat and instantly all eyes were on him. He smiled down at Peyton on his right and winked at her while she grinned.

"My guess is twins." I whispered to Nathan before anyone could say a word.

He smiled at me and we waited for Xander to talk.

"So, obviously we invited everyone here so that we could tell you some exciting news. We wanted you all to know at the same time and so…"

"We're having twins." Peyton blurted out.

"Ahh!" Brooke screamed, jumping up to be the first to hug Peyton, "Oh my God, that's so great!"

"Told ya." I elbowed Nathan with a grin then stood to hug my brother, "You're so predictable big brother."

"Shut up." Xander squeezed me tight, "You didn't know."

"I did too. Ask Nate. I told him I thought it was twins before you ever said a word." I laughed with Xander for a second and then said seriously, "You're amazing you know that?"

"Me?" Xander rolled his eyes, "When my wife looks like Peyton does, it's not hard to knock her up. Do you want me to explain to you how it's done?"

"Eww!" I smacked his chest, "Gross. That is not what I meant."

Xander groaned and rubbed his chest where I had hit him.

"I meant that you are a great husband and father and you're amazing for staying that way. You make sure that your family comes first."

"I'm not as amazing at that as you think but I'm working on it." Xander glanced over at Peyton, "She makes it worth it. She's the amazing one. She does so much everyday. Things I didn't even realize until I started being here on a daily basis. She deserves much better than me."

"Stop, you're gonna make me cry." I sighed, hugging Xander again, "I love you Xander."

"I love you too Savannah." Xander held on tight, "And I promise, one day, you'll have this too okay?"

The emotion welled up in my throat and I pulled back, staring at him while I nodded.

"I hope so."

I moved on to hug Peyton while Nathan came to talk to Xander.

"No wonder you're so sick. Double the babies. Double the fun huh?" I rubbed her slowly growing belly.

"That's what the doctor says." Peyton sighed, "I'll be honest. I was worried."

"Why?" I frowned at her and she stared at me for a prolonged second before it clicked, "Oh, because I told you how sick I was with Alex and you thought maybe that was happening to you too."

Peyton nodded but tried to shrug it off.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." I hugged her tight and then pulled back to look in her eyes, "What happened to me isn't something that runs in the family. She was sick. You don't need to worry."

A tear fell down her face and she quickly tried to wipe it away.

"It's not fair." She said, "It's not fair that I get this big family and you lost her. I've been thinking about it a lot and it's just not fair."

"Peyton…" I knew she was being overly emotional due to the hormones but it touched me that she cared enough to cry over my loss. As much as I wanted to cry with her, I couldn't. Her tears still touched me, "Thank you for caring so much Peyt but everything happens for a reason. I believe that more and more everyday."

"Losing a baby?" Peyton shook her head and wiped at her tears, "How can that be for a reason?"

Had she asked me this same question a year ago, I wouldn't have had an answer. I would have been too drunk to answer probably but I had been thinking about it a lot too. Sometimes I could accept that Alexandra had come into my life and died to serve a purpose and sometimes I couldn't. The reality of it was though, if she had never been a part of my life… or even if she had lived, my life wouldn't be where it was today. I wouldn't have been back in Tree Hill. I wouldn't have Nathan again. I may have still been married to Bryan and that was the last place I wanted to be. I was finally coming to terms with how things had happened and for the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to seeing what the future held for me.

"It's hard to explain." I told Peyton slowly, "It's a horrible experience. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and every single day, I wish I had my baby girl but if I did, would I be here today? Would life be the way it is now? I don't think so."

Peyton sniffled and nodded, wiping away more of her tears.

"You have a point." She said softly.

I smiled at her and hugged her again.

"I love you Peyton. You are the best sister-in-law I could have ever asked for and I am privileged to have you as a friend. Thank you for thinking of me and for caring about how unfair life can be but… I'm good." I looked over at Nathan and he winked at me, "I'm really good now and that's more than I can probably say for my life since we graduated high school, honestly."

"Why are you crying mommy?" Sienna asked, appearing beside us suddenly.

"I'm just happy honey." Peyton smiled and held Sienna to her side, "You need something?"

"Can I spend the night with grandma, grandpa & Lily tonight?"

"Did you ask Grandma and Grandpa?"

Sienna nodded.

"It's fine with me but you need to ask daddy."

"K, thanks." Sienna skipped over to Xander and I laughed.

"As if he's gonna tell her no."

Peyton rolled her eyes.

"You're right. Not gonna happen."

After a couple hours of eating, talking and celebrating Nathan and I began to say our goodbye's so that we could head to the airport.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Brooke called out to us from where she sat, perched on the café countertop.

"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" I replied sarcastically.

"Hey!" Brooke retorted, "I'm a married woman now."

"If that's your story." I winked at Peyton as I echoed her earlier line, "Bye you guys. Love you."

Lucas had volunteered to drive us to the airport once he found out about our trip so he followed the two of us out to Nathan's car and then we were off.

"So Vegas huh?" Lucas eyed me suspiciously, "You two planning on getting married?"

"No." I rolled my eyes, "Not that I'm aware of. Nathan, you have plans I don't know about?"

"None that involve marriage." He winked at me and I blushed, despite the fact that the statement could have been completely innocent.

"So what is this with you two huh? Are we making a return trip to high school? The relationship that wasn't really a relationship?" Lucas questioned us. I should have expected it but answering still made me nervous.

"We're taking things slow." Nathan answered for me, "It's not anything yet. We're just… working it out."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Nathan smiled at me and I smiled back.

"That didn't really work out for you last time." Lucas countered, "The whole not labeling it thing."

"We weren't taking things slow last time." I argued to Lucas, "We were having sex. There is a big difference between taking things slow and seeing where it takes us than having sex in high school. We're different people now."

"Don't kill me for asking. I'm just trying to be diplomatic." Lucas surrendered, "I just don't want to see either of you get hurt again. I was around for the whole thing last time remember? I know what it did to both of you and I'm not up for it again. I'm sure neither of you want that to happen again."

"We can handle ourselves Lucas." Nathan said simply, "Thanks for the input."

The silence turned awkward. The car ride was sort of tense and I definitely didn't know what to say. I was sure they didn't either. I knew Lucas wanted to help but…

"Thanks for driving us Luke." I hugged Lucas as we stepped out of the car at the airport, "Sorry we kind of snapped at you. It's sort of a touchy subject."

Lucas nodded, his hand brushing an invisible strand of hair from my cheek.

"You've been through enough and so has Nathan. I just want you guys to be happy and I know that's only going to happen if you two are together so… I guess in my own way I'm just trying to get you there."

"We do appreciate it." I assured him, "In our own way."

"Thanks man." Nathan said to Lucas as he set our bags down next to me, "We'll call you when we're coming back in and you can pick us up too? Is that cool?"

"Of course." Lucas hugged Nathan and sighed, "Sorry I butted in to your relationship stuff. I promise to leave the butting in to my wife from now on."

Nathan and I both laughed.

"Don't worry about it Luke." Nathan shrugged, "We'll see you in a week."

"See you in a week." Lucas hopped back into the car and drove away, leaving just Nathan and I standing at the curb outside the airport.

"Alright. Now how am I going to carry all of our bags by myself?" Nathan looked at the three large suitcases and his duffle bag.

"No need." I grinned, "What airline are we flying on?"

"Delta." Nathan nodded his head towards the curbside check in terminal a few feet away.

I motioned to one of the workers at the terminal and almost immediately they had brought a cart over, loading our bags onto it. It was a matter of minutes before we had checked our baggage, checked into our flight and we were headed for the terminal.

"Are you excited?" Nathan asked, taking my hand in his as we walked through the airport.

"It's just Vegas." I laughed, noting the way Nathan's face fell when I said it, "I'm just kidding. Yes, I'm excited. It's a trip for just the two of us. Of course I'm excited. Nervous but… excited."

"Nervous because of the alcohol." Nathan read my thoughts and I nodded.

"I called my sponsor/rehab buddy but she hasn't called me back and I'd just feel a lot better about dealing with the temptation if she would call me."

"I already told you. I will be with you the whole time. You have nothing to worry about." Nathan leaned over and kissed me softly, "But if talking to her will make you feel better, then I hope she calls."

"Ooh, look, we're on a magazine." I pulled Nathan to the nearest newsstand and picked up the latest issue of Star, effectively changing the subject. "Nathan Scott and Savannah Carter continue to reconnect. Pair sighted around their hometown of Tree Hill, NC kissing and holding hands."

There were pictures of us walking at the docks, shopping at the mall, and even hanging out at Karen's Café. I closed the magazine and rolled my eyes.

"Lame. They could do so much better." I said as I picked up a copy of B. Davis magazine, "At least we know whatever is printed in Brooke's magazine isn't speculation."

We bought the B. Davis magazine, a Sports Illustrated, and a packet of gum then headed back towards the gate our flight would be leaving from. Luckily they were already boarding for First Class so we were immediately taken aboard and ushered to our seats.

"Can I get you anything to drink before we take off? Cocktails? Soda?" The stewardess asked after Nathan and I were situated in our seats.

"I'm good with water." I held up the little bottle of water already sitting in my cup holder and smiled.

"I'll stick with the water too. Thanks."

The stewardess left us and I sighed, wiggling in my seat to get comfortable.

"How long is the flight?" I asked Nathan. I wasn't used to flying commercially very often.

"About 6 hours. We have a short layover in Atlanta." Nathan replied, again entangling his fingers with mine. He lifted them to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles, "I'm excited."

I grinned.

"Me too."

After awhile, the passengers had all boarded, the doors to the plane were closed and we had taxied onto the runway where we were preparing for takeoff. My grip on Nathan's hand had tightened. I hated the take-off. On Xander's plane it wasn't so bad but regular airlines… I hated it.

"Relax." Nathan looked over at me and gently touched his fingertip to the tip of my nose, "Everything's going to be fine."

As it usually went, Nathan was right about everything being okay. We landed safely in Las Vegas almost 7 hours later, slightly delayed, but I was relieved to be on solid ground again.

Before we could even turn our phones back on again, I could feel the lens of a camera being trained on me. Not that it was in my face or anything, but it was like a sixth sense at this point. I knew someone was taking my picture.

"Let's play a game. Find the paparazzi in the crowd." I joked with Nathan as we waited to pick up our luggage.

"This is Vegas. I guess I should have expected we'd be followed." Nathan sighed and looked around to see if he could find the camera man. "Sorry."

"No, it's cool." I smiled at him and motioned to his phone that he was holding to his ear, "Voicemail?"

Nathan nodded.

"Haley." He said with a sigh, "She said she needs to ask a favor. As if letting her, Jenny and Jessie move in with us until they find their own place in Tree Hill isn't enough right?"

I shrugged. It wasn't a big deal to let them stay. I really didn't expect them to be there that long. Haley was strongly independent and I knew she would want her own place plus, Lucas and Brooke's remodel was scheduled to be completed just in time for Jamie's birthday and I imagined if she hadn't found a place by then, she would move in with them instead. Living in a house with me and Nathan couldn't be comfortable for her considering our past. We may be on good terms now but that would never change our history.

"We'll call her later." Nathan put his phone away and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him so that I could lean my back against his chest. His hands came to rest on my hips and he placed a soft kiss at my temple. "Right now we are only going to focus on you, me, and our wonderful vacation."

Eventually our bags made their way onto the conveyor belt and back into our possession, allowing us to load them up on a cart and head off to the parking lot. Unbeknownst to me, Nathan had called ahead to rent us a car so it was already waiting for us.

"Oh my God." I squealed when we were escorted to the car sitting and waiting for us, "That is an Aston Martin Vantage!"

Nathan grinned from ear to ear.

"I figured you probably missed your Aston and I know I missed the Aston so… I rented us one. It's not the same but it's the best I could do on short notice."

"It's amazing Nathan." I couldn't get into it until I had inspected it. The sleek bodyline and seamless detailing, everything about it was beautiful. "Can I drive?"

He handed me the keys willingly and I squealed. As much as I had needed to get rid of my Aston Martin in New York, I did miss it. That car had been a huge part of my life. Sliding into the driver's seat of this car brought the feelings back to me. The power of driving something so amazing, so beautiful… it was almost orgasmic.

At first I didn't turn the car on. I ran my hands over the two-tone leather seats and steering wheel, taking in all the details down to the intricacies of the stitching. Everything about this car was perfect.

"You ready?" Nathan asked after a minute of just sitting there, "Eventually we are going to have to actually pull out of the parking garage."

"Jerk." I teased him and nodded, turning the key in the ignition and letting the car come to life, "Man this car is great. Now, if I can just remember how to handle this much power."

"You handle me don't you?" Nathan winked and I rolled my eyes.

"Smooth."

We headed out of the parking garage and onto the road. I realized that I had no idea where I was going but from the airport we could see the lights and skyline of the Las Vegas Strip, so we headed that way.

"Remind me to figure out how to use the GPS before we start driving around the city." I said as we drove, "It might come in handy."

"I doubt we'll really drive this car much but just in case, I will remind you."

Ultimately we found our hotel and pulled into the valet with ease. If there was one thing I had learned about driving a car like an Aston Martin, everyone always treated you as if you were important, regardless of whether you were or not.

"Will you be staying with us?" The valet asked as we exited the car.

"Yes." I smiled at him, "Nathan, is the reservation under your name?"

Nathan nodded.

"Nathan Scott." He told the valet, tipping him with a twenty-dollar bill as I handed him the keys to the car.

A bellhop ran over and unloaded our bags, earning himself a tip as well and with them handling that, Nathan took my hand and led me inside so that we could check in.

The interior of Encore was amazing from the moment we walked in. The lobby was lushly decorated with foliage, trees, flowers and a clear love for the whimsical outdoors. We were ushered directly to the VIP check in desk and our concierge checked us into our room.

"My name's Nancy. I'm your personal concierge so should you need anything during your stay, just let me know."

"Thank you Nancy." Nathan tipped her as he had the valet and bellhop and then we were led off to our suite.

I took in the amazing décor as we walked. Butterflies seemed to be a main focal point in the decorations and everything was mostly red but it was so beautiful. Detailed and clearly well thought out. It was intriguing and wonderful. I was already incredibly happy to be here.

When the doors to our suite were closed I sighed, taking in the view of the Las Vegas strip from our floor to ceiling windows. They said New York was the city that never sleeps but even as it neared 11:00PM, the city below us was alive and thriving.

"One room huh Nate?" I teased him, turning to smile, "You sure you don't have plans for us while we're here."

"I never said I didn't have plans." Nathan replied teasingly in return, pulling me into his arms, "I just said I didn't have plans for marriage."

"What plans do you have?" I gazed into his eyes, my hands resting against his chest and his around my waist.

"Plenty of this." He leaned down and kissed me passionately, "Maybe a little more…"

"I like the kisses." I smiled, reconnecting our lips, "But we could have done that at home."

Nathan laughed.

"Oh, I see. You want to know what we're actually going to DO in Vegas." He grinned, "First, we are going to find something to eat. I'm starved. Somehow airplane food just doesn't really do it for me."

I smiled and nodded my agreement.

The two of us changed into something a little more appropriate for dinner and a night on the town. Despite the late hour we were able to have a very nice pan-Asian dinner at Wazuzu in our hotel and then we began to walk around.

"We could go out on the actual Strip or maybe, we should just stay here for tonight and maybe hit a club." Nathan offered me option, "Or we could gamble."

"You pick." I squeezed his hand, which was nestled in mine, "I'm up for whatever you want to do."

Nathan didn't immediately respond. We continued to walk, taking in the ambiance and the people who were also walking around the casino. We stopped to watch poker being played for awhile and paused at a few slot machines. It wasn't until we came across a club named XS that Nathan seemed to make up his mind.

"What do you think?" Nathan eyed the nightclub, "You feel like dancing?"

"With you?" I raised an eyebrow mischievously, "I've seen you dance Mr. Scott. I don't think you can handle me."

"We'll see about that."

With no regard for the line of people waiting to get in, Nathan went straight to the doorman. It took no time at all for a hefty tip to transfer hands and then we were ushered inside to a private booth overlooking the unused pool. I guessed the water was strictly for decoration. It added to the mood that was sexy, elegant and at this moment, very busy.

"I will go to the bar and get us drinks." I volunteered but Nathan stopped me with his quizzical look, "Completely non-alcoholic for me. What do you want?"

"I can get the drinks." Nathan insisted, "In fact, I'm pretty sure a waitress will be by in a minute."

"I'm thirsty now. What do you want to drink?" I wasn't going to let him get away with paying for the ENTIRE trip, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Will it make it harder for you not to drink if I do drink?" He asked, caving in allowing me to get drinks.

"Not really. Maybe if I can taste it when you kiss me, that might be hard but I'm strong. I can deal. You wanna drink?"

"Kind of." Nathan admitted.

"Then you can." I grinned, "I know what you like. I'll be back."

The bar was pretty packed but I managed to sneak in and a bartender came over to help me shortly.

"What can I get for you beautiful?" He flirted expertly. I had found that most bartenders did this. It helped them make great tips.

"Can you make me Safe Sex on the Beach?"

"Well I can but wouldn't you rather forfeit the safe part?" He raised an eyebrow at me, "You don't seem like the non-alcoholic type."

"I didn't used to be." It was harmless to flirt back and usually it got me free drinks, "I am now though."

"Coming right up then. Anything else for you?"

"Captain and coke."

He raised his eyebrows at me but didn't question it before heading off to make the drinks.

While I waited I turned and faced out from the bar, staring out at the hordes of people on the dance floor and in their booths, mingling and canoodling with each other. There were famous people, some that I knew and some that I didn't. There were people of all shapes and sizes. There were beautiful people and the not so beautiful. It was a vast array.

"Savannah?"

The sound of his voice made me freeze. I would recognize it anywhere and it was the last voice I wanted to hear. I turned to my left slowly, praying that I was imagining things. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't, and in front of me stood Bryan Stevens… my ex-husband.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath and rolled my eyes, looking for the bartender, hoping he would return with my drinks soon.

"Savannah." Bryan grabbed my arm, "Hello?"

"Bryan, what?" I looked at him, pulling my arm back and crossing both arms over my chest.

"Hi." He said simply, rocking back on his heels, "Um… what are you doing here?"

"It's a club. I'm at the bar. What does it look like?"

"I thought you were clean. You stopped drinking." He was frowning at me and I had opened my mouth to defend myself when it occurred to me that I didn't need to explain anything to him.

"Why do you care? It's none of your damn business."

"I just… I saw you here and I had to come talk to you. I…" He was still staring at me and there was a look of concern on his face, "We haven't talked in a really long time and when I saw you, I couldn't stop myself from coming over."

"I have nothing to say to you and I thought I had made that pretty clear when I divorced you." For some reason just the thought that he had come over to me angered me to my core. I wanted to hit him, or… something. Anything. It just figured when things in my life were going well Bryan would have to show up.

"Okay, fine. You don't have anything to say to me but I never got the chance to explain anything to you Savannah and I need to. This is the first time I've seen you since then. Please, just give me five minutes to talk to you."

"Everything okay?" The bartender returned with my drinks, looking back and forth from me to Bryan.

"How much do I owe you?" I smiled at him and reached into my tiny clutch for money.

"They're on the house." He winked at me and looked back over at Bryan, "Sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you." I slipped a $50 bill in the tip jar despite his protests and grabbed my drinks, "Just someone who thinks he knows me."

I took a few steps away from the bar and Bryan followed. I wanted nothing more to rewind the night a few minutes and take Nathan's suggestion for waiting for the waitress but now that he'd seen me, I knew he wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted.

"Five minutes." I whipped around and glared at Bryan, "I will meet you outside and then you have exactly five minutes to say what you need to say and then you stay the hell away from me, got it?"

Bryan nodded, holding his hands up as if he surrendered.

"Outside." I pointed to the door and he headed off in that direction while I headed to my table.

"Hey you, I was thinking…" Nathan stopped mid sentence and raised his eyebrow at me, "What's wrong?"

"Bryan." At our table it was a little louder so I had to yell a bit for Nathan to hear me.

"Bryan?" He grimaced, "As in your ex-husband?"

I nodded and sighed.

"He wants to talk to me." I took a deep breath, "So I'm just gonna run outside and talk to him for five minutes so he'll leave me alone okay?"

"Savannah, I don't think that's a good idea. Just stay here with me…"

"I need to do this." If closure was what Bryan needed, I could give it to him and then promptly return to my vacation. I could do it.

"Are you sure about this?" Nathan looked very hesitant to let me walk away from him, "I…"

"I'm sure Nate." I gave him the most reassuring smile I could muster, leaning over and kissing him softly, "I'll be right back. Drink up. I know I would."

I weaved through the crowds of people and headed for the front door of the club, checking with the bouncers to make sure I would be able to get back in when I was done.

"Alright, five minutes starts now." I announced to Bryan as soon as we were standing in the closest thing to a private area of the casino floor.

He stuttered for a minute before he began to speak.

"I never cheated on you."

The statement made me laugh out loud. I couldn't control it. It was like word vomit, where it just came out and there was nothing you could do to restrain yourself. The laughter emanated from me and I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to.

"It's not funny Savannah." Bryan frowned at me, "I'm serious. I know you don't believe me okay? I wish I had proof but I don't and I know you never had proof that I cheated because I didn't cheat but I knew that you wanted a divorce and all I wanted was to make you happy because you were… so sad. Your sadness broke my heart and I thought that if I gave you what you wanted, a divorce, you would be happy but then you drank yourself into rehab and I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to rescue you but your agent wouldn't let me. He said that he was under strict orders not to release any information about you to anyone who wasn't related and therefore I couldn't find you or fix you or do anything. So I just waited… I waited to see if you'd come out better, stronger, sober? And you did and I am so proud of you but now that you're better I… you're all I think about. The family that we were supposed to have. The marriage that failed. The life we should be living together right now…"

He was sure making the most of his five minutes. I hadn't heard him speak that many sentences in a row since… I couldn't remember when. I didn't know if he was telling the truth, about the cheating.

He was right that I had never had proof. I had bluffed on that one because I had suspected the cheating so when I bluffed and he caved, I had assumed my suspicions had been founded. It didn't matter now but then again, maybe it did matter. Maybe if I let my anger at him subside I would have more room inside me for good feelings. Love, joy, happiness…

"I never stopped loving you Savannah and I truly believe that fate has put us both here, in Vegas, at the same club tonight for a reason." Bryan stared at me, directly into my eyes, "Can you ever forgive me for not being there for you when you really needed me? For not being there when our daughter needed me? I should have been. I should have done everything I could to be there and I didn't. I failed you and I know that but, I need your forgiveness."

"You can't have it." I said, my anger returning at the mention of our daughter, "You can't ever ask me to forgive you for missing the birth and death of our daughter."

"I visit her. All the time." Bryan blinked as if he were holding back tears, "I told her that you moved to North Carolina to heal because you missed her so much. I tell her we love her and that you think about her everyday, because I do, so I know you must. I visit her for both of us because I know you can't right now."

"Don't do that." I said softly, breaking his gaze and looking down at the floor, "Don't talk to her for me. You know nothing of what I went through. You know nothing of what I still go through when I think of her. When I remember her… tiny hands, perfect little feet, pale skin… the way she looked just before she died. You know NOTHING of that."

"I regret that everyday." Bryan placed his finger under my chin and forced me to look back up at him, "If I could take it back, I would have been there but I swear to you I didn't know until it was too late."

"Your five minutes are up." I wasn't going to delve into that conversation again and whether or not his five minutes actually were up, I was done with this conversation.

I turned to walk away but Bryan grabbed my arm and pulled me back. Before I knew it his lips were on mine, sweet and salty at the same time. They pressed against mine roughly, searching for a response from me, but I gave none and when I finally realized what was going on I pulled away sharply. My right hand connected with his left cheek before I even knew I had swung. The slap landed with a resounding smack, those near us turning to stare as Bryan clutched his cheek.

"I am not yours to kiss and I never will be again. Stay the hell away from me Bryan. I mean it."

I walked directly back to the club and the bouncers let me in without even a single question. My lower lip was quivering and my hands were shaking from the anger coursing through my veins. How dare he try to kiss me? What gave him the right? What was he thinking? There were so many questions. Most important of them all, where was Nathan?

I stared at the table we had been seated at before but he wasn't there. Only his empty glass and my full one still remained. I looked around but in the ever-growing crowds, he was nowhere to be found. I walked around for a little bit, looking for him. He wasn't at the bar. He wasn't on the dance floor. I wanted to call him but in the club I got no reception so I headed back outside, hoping I wouldn't run back into Bryan.

"Nathan?" I had the phone pressed to my ear but I could still barely hear him on the other end, "Nathan, where are you?"

"Enjoy…night…Bryan." Came his jumbled response and I frowned.

"What? Nathan, I need you. You will not believe what just happened with Bryan and I seriously need you right now. Are you still in the club?"

"I know…you…okay?" I still could only hear like every other word.

"Nate, I can't hear you. Can you just meet me outside the club? Wherever you are, just come to the front okay?"

"Can you hear me now?" Suddenly his voice was clear and I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Yes. Oh my God, Nate, seriously… Bryan is crazy. You won't believe…"

"I saw you." He said simply.

"Saw me? Saw me what? Slap him?"

"Kiss him." Nathan sounded very serious and it suddenly occurred to me that he must have seen the kiss and he was upset now.

"No, no. I didn't kiss him." I argued.

"It's fine Savannah. You married the guy. I should have figured that you probably still had feelings for him. I just… I guess I thought this was the trip where we got back together you know? For real? I thought we could really make this work and I realize now that I was wrong."

"You aren't wrong!" He sounded so defeated, "Where are you? I can explain okay? I swear that I did not kiss Bryan and I have no feelings for him other than disgust and what can only be described as an acute hatred for his guts. Please, listen to me Nathan. I want everything from this trip that you do okay? Where are you?"

"I'm getting a separate room so you can just stay in the one you already have a key for or with him if you want… it's fine. I will just see you back in Tree Hill or something. You enjoy yourself."

"No, Nathan! You're not listening to me!" I realized when people started to stare at me that I was starting to get loud but it didn't matter, "I don't want to enjoy anything without you. Just tell me where you are and I will explain okay?"

My question was met with silence.

"Nathan?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked down at it, seeing that he had hung up on me. "Shit."

I redialed his number but got only his voicemail. Not believing that he would really turn his phone off knowing we were in Las Vegas, knowing that I didn't feel comfortable handling the temptations of alcohol, knowing that I needed him…

"You've reached Nathan. Leave a message." The phone went straight to voicemail for the fifth time and I could feel all the air in my lungs escaping as I started to panic.

"Nathan, please answer your phone. Call me. I really need you." Much to my surprise I felt a tear fall down my cheek. "Please…"

"Miss Carter…" one of the bouncers from the club tapped me on the shoulder, "is there anything I can help you with?"

I realized what I must look like to all the people around me. The people waiting in line to get in the club. The paparazzi who I knew were lurking. I was crying for the first time in a long time. Once again, it was Bryan's fault.

"Is my table still available?" I asked the bouncer, wiping the tears away and motioning inside the club. At least inside the club I was a little more sheltered from prying eyes. I could sit in my booth and stare at my phone, hoping for it to ring.

"Yes ma'am." The bouncer nodded and put his arm around my waist to lead me back inside, "Right this way."

At the table I set my phone in front of me and downed the contents of my now watery Safe Sex on the Beach. Somehow non-alcoholic beverages just didn't numb the pain like the real ones did.

"I'm in Las Vegas. I need you. Call me." I sent a text message to my 'rehab buddy' who I still hadn't heard from since I called her from Tree Hill earlier but after fifteen minutes of waiting, I got no answer from her either.

Once again I was left feeling helpless and alone. Nathan was mad at me and not answering my calls, despite his vow to protect me from Vegas while we were here. The one person in the world who knew exactly what I was going through and was supposed to talk me through these moments wouldn't return my call or my messages. I couldn't call any of my friends because they wouldn't understand besides; I didn't want to stress Peyton since she was pregnant. Lucas and Brooke… they had their own stuff they needed to worry about with their fostering thing. I didn't need to add my pathetic alcohol problem to the list. Camille and Tim were still working on moving into their new house. I loved Bevin but she wasn't the type of person to call in this situation.

"You need a refill?"

I looked up to see the bartender who had given me free drinks earlier standing at the edge of my table, staring down at my empty glass.

"You double as a waiter?" I asked him skeptically.

"Um, no." He shook his head and smiled, "My shift just ended actually. I thought I'd buy you a drink if you needed a refill. You look like you could use it."

I took another glance at my phone. No missed calls. No text messages. No hope.

"I could use a drink." I smiled up at him and winked, "Let's take the safety out of this one though okay?"

"I thought you didn't drink alcohol anymore." He winked back and I found myself taking notice of his quirky smile, tanned skin and sun kissed blonde hair.

"Well, that was before you were offering to buy it for me." I flirted expertly and I saw in his eyes the way he took note of it.

"I can afford it tonight. This really hot chick gave me a $50 tip earlier."

"Hot huh? Tall? Dark hair? Blue eyes? Talking to an asshole?"

He nodded with a smile.

"I think I've seen her around here. Bring me that drink and I might just introduce you."

With a nod he had disappeared. I took a deep breath, waiting for him to return. I was nervous. Not so much because I was flirting with a guy I really had no interest for. Not so much because he was flirting back. Not at all because I was afraid where this would go but because I was about to take my first drink of alcohol in almost four months.

"Here you go." The bartender returned to the table, sliding into the booth next to me and setting a drink in front of me as he smiled, "Sex on the Beach… no safety. I'm Jason by the way."

I inhaled slowly, staring at the drink. If I had been a cartoon this would have been the moment when a small angel appeared on one shoulder and a devil on the other, each telling me to do something different. I took one last glance at my cell phone, it's blank screen taunting me, and then stuffed it into my clutch.

I lifted my glass to his in a toast and together we lifted the glasses to our lips and took long swigs. The liquid hit my lips like sweet nectar, cool and fruity. I had wanted it to taste bad so that I could reinstate my defenses. I wanted it to feel wrong so that I could stop again. But wrong had never tasted so good.

"I'm Savannah." I reached out my hand to shake Jason's and we both smiled, "I think this is the start to a lovely night."

_**End of chapter note: DUM DUM DUM! (insert menacing music here) So you guys want more? Next chapter is planned to be from Nate's POV and I know you want it so if you want it bad enough you will review! Make me happy! And also guys, if you like Twilight at all, I just started a Twilight fan fiction called Identity: A Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black Story so I would love it if you would check it out. :) Thanks!**_


	12. Chapter 12: Fast or Slow

_**Author's Note: Hi! I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update this you guys! I got completely engrossed in the Twilight world and it's been hard to pull myself out. But I am working on this story again and my Twilight story at the same time so I think I have a good balance on it now. :) I hope you all like this chapter. It's very emotional and drama filled, just the way we like it right? Thanks to my amazing beta music-is-love10, Long Live Brucas, HistoryNerd and lizzl0ve for reviewing the last chapter. You all rock my world! Also, thank you to Nicole who read and reviewed The New Girl and seriously, I hope you're reading this Nicole, you made me cry happy tears. Your review was amazing. Thank you so much! On that note, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)  
**_

**Chapter Twelve**

**Fast or Slow**

**Nathan POV**

The room was spinning around me. The sounds of the Las Vegas gambling floor were jubilant, everyone happy as they won money at the poker tables or celebrated an exceptional roll of the dice at craps. My eye's couldn't focus on just one thing at a time. I was seeing double, sometimes triple, and it didn't seem like it was going to clear anytime soon.

"Nathan?" A male voice called out to me and I tried to focus in on the face that went with it, "Nathan, are you okay?"

I found myself blinking repeatedly until finally the face came into focus. Blue eyes, blonde hair and a particularly frustrated frown. The last person in the world I wanted to see at that moment.

"Dude, you don't look so great. Are you here with Savannah?"

I glared at Bryan for mentioning her name. How dare he ask about her? He had just stolen her away from me a few hours before and he was asking me now if I was here WITH her? If I could have remembered how to throw a punch, I would have.

"What the hell do you want?" I managed to ask, not sounding nearly as menacing as I was hoping to sound.

"I recognized you and just wanted to help you out if you needed it." Bryan held up his hands in surrender, "You look like you want to kill me and I assure you, Savannah slapped me hard enough for both of you already so I'll just go my own way."

"Excuse me?" I frowned at him and reached out for his arm to pull him back to face me before he could walk away, stumbling forward a little as I lost my balance, "What did you just say?"

"Savannah slapped me hard enough for both of you?" Bryan stated the previous statement in a question now, his eyes narrowing at me, "How drunk are you?"

"Pretty wasted." I admitted with an internal sigh, "When did she slap you? Last thing I saw you two looked pretty cozy, kissing."

Bryan shook his head at me, his frown deepening.

"I kissed her. She pushed me and then slapped me, hard. It still stings a bit and it's been a few hours so I'm not planning on going back for more. She's made it very clear she despises me and to be honest, I don't blame her. I don't know what I was thinking kissing her like that."

"So she didn't kiss you back?" My head was starting to clear as the drunkenness was replaced with a million other thoughts, "She's not with you right now?"

"Do you see her here?" Bryan motioned around us and there was definitely no supermodel in our midst, "She slapped the shit out of me and then went back into that club while I left. I was embarrassed enough to know when to exit. Did she come here with you? Why isn't she with you now?"

My head was spinning for an entirely different reason now. Sobriety was crashing down on me as I realized what I had done. I had abandoned Savannah when she needed me all because I got jealous, thinking she had kissed Bryan. What the hell was I thinking?

"I gotta find her." I told Bryan simply, brushing past him and heading back towards the club where I had left her hours ago.

I wasn't sure if she would still be there. If I was honest with myself I doubted she would still be at the club but it was the first place I could think to check. My thoughts were still not forming with 100% clarity.

"Hey, I was here earlier with Savannah Carter. Do you remember?" I asked the bouncer at the door, the same one who had let us in, "Is she still here?"

"Naw man." The bouncer shook his head slowly, "She left like an hour ago."

"Do you know where she was going? Was she with anyone?" I had left her alone in Las Vegas, after I had promised I wouldn't do that, and now, whatever happened to her was my fault. I didn't want to think about what could happen. I had to focus first on finding her, and hope that she was okay.

"She was with one of the bartenders, Jason, I think." The bouncer shrugged, "Don't know where they were going though. Sorry, man."

"That's okay. Thank you." I clumsily handed him another tip for the information and then turned away from the club.

I took a few steps and then stopped. I had no idea where else to look for her. She was with a guy. Was she drinking? I would never forgive myself if she was drinking. I was supposed to be there for her. I was supposed to be her support system and I had failed her, horribly. I had to find her.

"Savannah?" I used my room key to let myself into the hotel room we were supposed to have been sharing, "Savannah, are you here?"

I flipped on every light in the suite but she wasn't there and from the looks of the room, she hadn't been there since we had left. I glanced at the clock, 3:00 AM. Where would she be at 3:00 AM?

I reached into my pocket and found my cell phone, immediately feeling stupid. I was looking for a girl who had a perfectly capable method of contact on her. Why hadn't I thought to call her already?

"One new voicemail." I saw on the screen as soon as I had turned on my phone. Maybe the voicemail would be from her, telling me where she was going. I would check that first.

"Nathan, please answer your phone. Call me. I really need you." I heard Savannah on the message and my heart broke. She sounded like she was about to cry, "Please…"

I wanted there to be another voicemail, something telling me where she could be. I was clueless on how to find her other than to try calling her back, and I prayed she would answer her phone.

"Hey, you've reached Savannah. I know you want me, but right now, you can't have me. Leave a message." I groaned in frustration, hanging up without leaving a message.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I cursed myself as I stood in the empty room, looking around hopelessly. How could I have been so stupid as to walk away from her for one stupid kiss? Sure, as soon as I had seen her and Bryan kissing, the jealousy had flared inside me as I had never felt before, but why hadn't I listened to her when she called? Why hadn't I given her a chance to explain? She had deserved a chance and I had hung up on her, turned off my cell phone, and gotten drunk. I had left her, an innocent baby rabbit, in a city that would prey on her like a hungry wolf. I had fucked up completely and I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave me. I would never forgive myself.

At the door of the hotel suite I heard giggling and the knob of the door jiggled a bit. It sounded like someone was trying to get in and my heart began to thud incredibly loudly. It had to be her.

"Shh!" I watched Savannah stumble into the room in the arms of another man, both clearly intoxicated. His arms were around her waist as she continued to fumble with the room key, laughing loudly despite her attempts to quiet him. When she looked up and saw me, she froze.

"I'm so not into threesomes." The guy muttered as he caught site of me too.

I didn't know what to do. This was much worse then seeing her kiss Bryan but not because of the guy, though I didn't like to think what their intended next step was. No, this was much worse because she was drunk, completely and totally wasted, and it was entirely my fault.

"Savannah, can we talk?" I said quietly, eyeing her and the guy who was still holding her around her waist.

"I thought you were getting your own room." She hissed at me angrily, letting the door to the room shut quietly behind her, locking with a final click, "What are you doing in mine?"

"I just want to talk to you." I repeated my request, "Please?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you a couple hours ago but you weren't exactly receptive to that idea were you?" She retorted, stumbling a few more steps forward before she gave up and removed the stiletto heels from her feet, tossing them to the side, "No, you can leave."

"Savannah, I'm so sorry."

"Dude, she said you can go." The guy she had brought in with her took a few steps forward, finally releasing his grip from around her waist. He was trying to be menacing but in his drunken state, he would hardly be a match for me.

I didn't want to fight him. I just wanted to talk to Savannah.

"Dude, you don't even know her so how about you leave?" I took a couple steps toward him as well, hoping he would back off.

"It's not worth it Jason." Savannah sighed, reaching out and grabbing "Jason" by his hand, "Just go okay? I can handle this."

Jason turned to her and they had a very quiet, albeit predictable argument between themselves. He knew that if he left he wouldn't get laid, which is exactly what I was trying to prevent. This worked well for me.

"I'll call you." Savannah lied expertly, or at least I hoped she was lying, "Just go."

Jason glared at me but headed for the door. He cast one more hopeful glance at Savannah then reached for the handle of the door and left. The door clicked shut once more with a menacing tone of both dread and guilt as Savannah turned to face me, the tension in the air getting heavy as I realized the conversation between us wasn't going to be easy.

Savannah supported herself by leaning against the wall nearest her. Her eyes fluttered every few seconds, as if she was very dizzy. I wanted to pull her into my arms to help her but I knew she wouldn't accept it that easily. She was pissed at me, and for good reason.

"Savannah, I'm an idiot." I started toward her slowly, "I'm so sorry. I was wrong about what I saw and I didn't give you a chance to explain because I was being stubborn and because I was hurt. I should have listened. I know I should have listened to you because you were telling me the truth. You didn't kiss Bryan. He kissed you."

"Why the change of heart?" She asked calmly, her eyes still closed, her hand gripping the wall to maintain her balance.

"I ran into Bryan and when his story corroborated yours, it made me realize I was the asshole. I was the one who had made the mistake."

"Great." She laughed and almost fell over.

I bounded to her side to catch her but she swatted away my arms as she opened her eyes and began to walk away. She found the nearest chair and slumped her body into it.

"So you listen to Bryan but not to me." She sighed, "Figures, even my best friend doesn't believe a word I say."

"No, it wasn't that." I assured her, moving to stand in front of her again, "I swear to you. It wasn't that I didn't believe you! I was hurt and I felt betrayed, and when that happens, I guess you act before you think, or at least I did. I let you down, I know I did, and I'm so sorry Savannah. I was an idiot. There's no excuse for my behavior and no apology good enough. I don't deserve you and I know that, but I just needed to find you and make sure you're okay but you're not."

I would never be able to explain how my heart was aching to be able to make everything okay again. I wanted to turn back the time and listen to her when she had called me. I wanted to meet her instead of hanging up and then she could have explained and it would have been me coming to this room in her embrace, instead of that bartender. She would have been in my arms instead of in this hotel room chair. Everything would have been so different.

"I'm fine." Savannah looked up at me from under her lashes, "You needed to find me to make sure I'm okay and really, I'm fine so you can go if you want to. Consider yourself forgiven or whatever you need to feel so you're not groveling, because it's pointless Nathan. It's all clear to me now. You never felt for me the way I feel for you – sorry, felt for you." I cringed when she corrected her wording.

"I love you Savannah." I knelt down in front of her so I could look directly into her eyes, "I love you. I do feel for you the way you feel for me. You love me right?"

She took a long moment to stare into my eyes. Hers began to fill with tears and she shook her head slowly.

"No."

My heart broke again. It was like the pieces that it had broken into previously, broke into smaller pieces, and I struggled to catch my breath. I wanted to tell myself that she was lying, but her walls were back up, the way they had been when she had first returned home. I couldn't see past her tears or the swirling darkness that was creeping into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Don't do this Savannah. Don't shut me out again. I messed up but I can make it right again. I know I can." I was begging now but I didn't care. I needed her to say it would be okay. I couldn't lose her like this.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." She jumped up from the chair she was sitting in and moved faster than I had seen her move all night as she sprinted towards the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it in one swift movement.

I heard her throwing up and I sank even farther to the floor. This was all my fault. All the what if's sprang back up in my mind. What if I had never asked her to come to Las Vegas? What if I had just insisted that we wait for a waitress rather than her ordering drinks at the bar? What if I had listened when she had called me? What if I wasn't a self-centered asshole?

"Savannah?" I called out to her after the toilet had flushed and the water from the bathroom sink had ceased to run. I had forced myself to stand up and post myself by the bathroom door, "Savannah, are you okay?"

There was no answer. Inside the bathroom was quiet and still, so immediately I began to worry.

"Savannah? Please answer me. You can tell me to fuck off or something but I need you to talk to me." I tried to laugh but the sentiment caught in my throat and came out more as a gurgled sputter, "Savannah?"

"Fuck off." She muttered lightly, just loudly enough for me to hear. It brought a smile to my face.

"That's my girl. Will you unlock the door so I can see that you're okay? You don't have to go through this alone. I want to be there for you." I slid down to the floor, sitting with my ear pressed against the door so I could hear the slightest movement from the other side.

I heard her rustling around in there but the door didn't open. It sounded like she was moving to sit next to the door, like I was.

"Can you hear me?" She asked quietly, sniffling so I could tell she was crying.

"Yeah." I replied, hopeful for the first time since she'd walked into the room.

"Okay." She sniffled again but didn't continue. I gave her a minute to talk again but she never did. All was quiet on her end other than the sniffling.

"I'm so sorry." I said again, "What I did was unforgivable. As soon as we get home I'll move out okay? If you never talk to me again, I'll understand just, don't go through tonight alone. Let me be there for you."

She still didn't talk. There were some muffled sobs but no words. With every passing minute my heart broke into smaller pieces, more for her pain then for my own. She had done nothing wrong to deserve the way I had treated her.

"I lied." She finally spoke softly.

"About what?"

"I do love you."

A few of the pieces of my heart mended and a small smile played across my face.

"Is there a but coming?" I asked hesitantly.

"No." She sighed, "No but. I just love you."

I sighed too. I hadn't wanted there to be a "but."

"I love you too beautiful. I never intended for things to happen like this. This trip was supposed to be everything for us. The next step so to speak."

Her head rubbed against the door as if she were nodding it.

"Do you think you can forgive me? I know I don't deserve it but would it be possible?" I knew I shouldn't even ask it of her but I couldn't stop myself, "Maybe in a few years you'll be able to give yourself to me again? I'll wait for you."

There was silence on her end. Just in case she could hear me, I didn't let my sigh escape my lips. I knew what I had done was unforgivable but I had hoped for just a second that she might forgive me anyway.

"I understand." I told her simply, "I'll never forgive me either. I can't believe how stupid I was tonight. I promised you I would take care of you and I left you alone. I was supposed to watch you and instead I let you drink and now you're sick. Will you have to start from square one of the rehab process?"

"Probably." She muttered, "But me drinking was my choice Nate. Don't beat yourself up."

"No, it's all my fault Savannah. I messed everything up and I take full responsibility for it. Is there anything I can do to help you get sober again?"

Silence ensued again for a moment, and then I heard the lock on the door click. I sat up immediately and after just a second the door cracked open and I could see her laying on the floor, her mascara in streaks down her face, her eyes red and face blotchy. She managed a small smile.

"Will you carry me to bed? I don't think I can walk."

"Of course." I stood up and pressed the door open, just enough so that I could step in and over her, reaching down and pulling her into my arms.

Her perfume overpowered any remaining scent of vomit she may have had on her. Even the alcohol, which was being emitted from her pores, was overpowered by her perfume. She smelled of honeysuckle and strawberries, purely feminine, purely Savannah.

"There you go." I set her down on the plush bed gently, pulling back the covers and then tucking her underneath them. I took a step back, inwardly cursing myself again.

There she was, so small and fragile in such a large bed, the bed that had been meant for us to share. I reminded myself I was an idiot.

"I'll keep my phone next to me all night so if you need anything, just call me okay?" I offered as I took a few steps backwards, away from the bed and away from her.

"Nate?" She sat up and looked over at me with the look of a scared child. It was the look Jamie got whenever he had a bad dream.

"Yeah?" I tried to smile at her reassuringly but I was positive the sentiment never reached my eyes.

"Don't go." She patted the bed next to her, "I don't want to be alone. Will you hold me?"

I didn't cry often but I could feel the tears building. We could never be together and I knew that now. Holding her, but not being able to have her seemed like the right punishment for my crimes. Eternal damnation would have been appropriate as well.

"Of course beautiful." I kicked off my shoes and removed my watch then climbed into the bed fully clothed, "Whatever you want."

I wrapped my arm around her waist beneath the covers, holding her slim frame tightly against my chest. I was afraid if I didn't hold her tight enough she would slip away and realize she didn't want me here at all.

I could feel her crying, her body shaking in my arms and I let a tear slide down my own cheek. I could do nothing to comfort her because it was my fault she was crying in the first place.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, running my fingers through her hair, "I know it doesn't make anything better but I am so sorry. I'll say it for eternity."

The shaking increased and I realized I had made her cry harder. My tears fell at a faster pace as well.

"Savannah, please don't cry." I choked out, "Please baby, I'll fix it okay? I'll do whatever I can to fix it."

She turned in my arms and in one breath had embedded her fingers at the nape of my neck, pulling my lips to her own in a crushing kiss. Her tongue flickered against my lips, begging for admission to my mouth, which I granted easily. It took only a second for her to roll me onto my back and climb on top of me, our lips never losing contact.

I stopped thinking and I was sure she did too. Our bodies moved as one, her hips grinding against mine. She released her hold on my lips only to sit up and pull her dress over her head, leaving her clothed in only her lacy bra and panties. The lights from the Las Vegas strip illuminated the room enough to make her skin luminescent. She reached behind herself to unclip her bra, discarding it easily before she leaned back down to attack my lips again.

I couldn't keep my hands off of her and hers seemed to be content on me as well. Her nimble fingers quickly releasing the buttons of my shirt, opening it wide so she could run her hands down my chest and abs. She climbed off of me only long enough to undo my belt and the button of my pants before she pulled them down and off of me. I sat up to throw my shirt off the side of the bed and then I pulled her to me again. This time I was on top.

"Mmm." She moaned as I trailed kisses down her jaw and neck to her collarbone. Her back arched and I could hear her nails scraping across the sheets beneath us.

"I love you." I mumbled against her skin, moving my lips lower on her body.

"I love you too." She replied breathlessly.

I took one of her nipples in my mouth and bit it, just enough to tease. She groaned loudly and I glanced up at her face, her eyes rolling back in her head. A mischievous grin spread across my face, my fingers finding the top of her panties and dipping inside. When they found her wetness she growled, a deep guttural growl as she arched again. Her eyes were closed as I captured her mouth with mine again, letting our tongues tangle while I moved my fingers inside her.

"Make love to me." She whimpered against my lips, grinding into my hand, "I can't take it anymore."

She didn't need to ask me twice. I shed my own boxers and stripped her of her panties swiftly, moving over her and into her at once. She screamed but it wasn't in pain, it was pure pleasure. Her nails dug into my back and I moved faster inside her, letting the heat build. She was clinging to me, every thrust drawing a different sound from her lips.

The climax was building quickly when she switched the dynamic again, pushing me off of her and climbing back on top. I could see her deceptive grin in the lights from outside as she sank down onto me, causing me to growl this time. Her moves were smoother, and designed to bring the most pleasure by each individual movement - rather than as much pleasure as possible from a series of fast movements. I gripped onto her hips as she rode me expertly. It didn't take long at all before she was throwing her head back in pure ecstasy, screaming as her orgasm rocked her body. I felt each individual wave of her release from the inside and it brought me to my own. She kissed me passionately just as I was screaming my release.

When I could move again, I rolled her to her side from where she had collapsed against my chest. She wasn't asleep; instead, she stared at me with wide-eyed abandon. I made sure she was comfortable by pulling the covers back over our now cooling bodies and then just held her in my arms, too scared that speaking would bring reality crashing back around us. I wanted to revel in the love for now. I didn't want her to remember why she should hate me.

"I love you." She whispered quietly, lifting her finger to trace the features of my face. She lingered on my lips, my eyelids and finally let her hand fall to my chest.

"I love you too." I replied, kissing her softly and pulling her closer to my chest.

Her breathing evened out, as did mine and when I knew she was soundly asleep, I allowed myself to drift to sleep as well. We would just deal with everything else in the morning.

*********************************************************************************************

I woke up alone. I was reaching out and feeling around in the bed, trying to find Savannah without opening my eyes, but she wasn't there and I groaned. I should have expected as much but, it didn't hurt any less when the reality sank in, she simply was not going to forgive me. She had given me the one night of pleasure and that was all I was ever going to get from her, ever again.

I forced myself to open my eyes, blinking to adjust to the light levels of the room. The curtains were closed, even though I was positive they hadn't been the night before. It left the room still fairly dark, despite the clock reading 12:22 PM.

I resigned myself to get up out of bed, taking deep breaths as I looked around the room to find all my clothes. I slipped on my boxers and threw the rest of the clothes on the bed. At least they were together so they would be easy to pack. I opened the door from the bedroom and headed into the living room area of the suite.

The curtains were not closed in the living room and I had to blink again, repeatedly, to adjust my eyes to the light. When I could finally see again, I was very surprised to find Savannah standing by the window in a bathrobe, staring out over the city, sipping a cup of coffee. She didn't turn to look at me but I knew she knew I was there.

Her hair was wet, a sign she had showered recently. She was breathing evenly, almost calculatedly, as if she was forcing each individual breath from her body. I didn't want to bother her but I couldn't just ignore the fact that she was there.

"Morning." I offered pathetically, moving to stand next to her, "Looks like a beautiful day out there."

She glanced at me and nodded, then returned her gaze to the city below.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hung-over." She admitted quietly, "Mostly shitty."

"Yeah…" I could commiserate with the mostly shitty part, although for completely different reasons.

She had just opened her mouth to speak again when her cell phone began to ring from the coffee table behind us. She cast a quick glance at me and then headed for the couch, sitting down, setting her coffee down and then answering the phone.

"Hey." She said quietly.

I didn't want to intrude on her conversation so I headed back into the bedroom to find my suitcase and start to pack. Whatever was going to happen between Savannah and I, I was positive it wouldn't include staying another day in Las Vegas. With the door open, I could still hear Savannah's side of her conversation.

"No Rach, I'm okay." She sighed, "Yeah, I did but it's gonna be fine. Trust me. I feel crappy enough today that I know better than to drink again. I won't relapse again."

I groaned quietly. I hated that she had drunk because of me. I hated myself for letting it happen. It would be a long time before I stopped beating myself up over this.

"You really don't need to do that Rachel, I'm really going to be okay. It was just a rough night and I fell off the bandwagon. End of story. It won't happen again."

Rough night was an understatement. I knew how much I had drank just because I thought she was hooking up with Bryan again. I didn't even want to know how much she had when she realized I had abandoned her. For an alcoholic especially, it must have been so horrible, realizing you have no defense against your one weakness. When she realized she was alone in Las Vegas, I couldn't imagine that she would have been able to say no. Again, I cursed myself.

"Okay. Yeah. I appreciate that Rachel. I really do. Stop apologizing. It was my choice to drink and everyone just needs to let that sink in. My choice, my mistake, my consequences. Okay. I'll see you in a couple days."

When she was quiet I assumed she had hung up her phone. I had just finished packing my dirty clothes and grabbing clean ones when she came into the room.

"So um," She paused in the doorway and I turned to look at her, "Shall we talk?"

I answered her question with a slow nod and looked around. There was nowhere to sit comfortably in here other than the bed and after what had occurred there the night before, it was probably the last place she wanted to spend a second more with me.

"You wanna go sit on the couch?" I asked her.

Savannah shrugged and then headed that way. I started to follow but she turned to stop me.

"Could you put some clothes on first?" She requested, looking me over, "It's kind of hard to think clearly when you're only wearing boxers."

I grinned proudly at her and she smiled back.

"I'll be on the couch."

She closed the door to the bedroom behind her, as if I needed privacy to get dressed. I threw on my dirty clothes from the night before, since I still needed to shower, and then joined her on the couch in the living room. She was sipping her coffee, patiently waiting for me.

We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I had no idea what to say to her. I knew I couldn't fix anything and she had already said the night before - without saying anything -that I would not be forgiven. My heart began to ache again.

"You think it's actually true?" She finally spoke, the question in her eyes as she turned to look at me, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"How could it? People get married here and it's not like when they leave they're no longer married. It'd be nice if it was true though right? We'd leave here and all would go back to the way it was before we left Tree Hill. You would still be four months sober. I wouldn't hate myself for hurting you so badly."

"Oh Nate…" Savannah placed her hand on my knee and sighed, "It was a misunderstanding. You thought I kissed Bryan and you overreacted but you shouldn't keep beating yourself up about it."

"How can I not? You drank! The one thing you were worried about coming here for. The one thing that I promised I would protect you from! And I failed because I was a jackass and hung up on you! Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I force myself past the selfish pride and just listen? We could have avoided all of this."

"Hopefully not ALL of it." Savannah winked at me and I was sure I blushed, for what reason I wasn't sure, "You have to admit the sex was great."

"Savannah…"

"Nate, everything happens for a reason right? We've talked about this a million times. The world is not mysterious. Every single thing that takes place occurs for a purpose. Your marriage to Haley, Jamie, my marriage to Bryan, Alex… it was all for a reason! This trip to Las Vegas, running into Bryan, the kiss, the slap." She smiled at that one then continued, "The drinking and the sex. If everything happens for a reason, I can't regret a single moment of it. Can you?"

I frowned at her.

"Last night, when you were locked in the bathroom, I asked if you could forgive me and you didn't say anything. You were silent."

"You asked me that?" She raised an eyebrow at me, "Baby, I was in and out of consciousness in there. I heard "I love you too beautiful" and then "Will you have to start from square one of the rehab process?" Anything said in between was lost to me. I honestly have no idea how I got the stamina to have sex. In that bathroom I thought I was going to die."

My heart soared. She hadn't heard me ask so maybe…

"So you can forgive me?"

"It wasn't your fault!" She exclaimed, "Nate, I drank of my own accord. Yes, it was because I was alone and you left me but, from your point of view, I can understand that. You saw a kiss occur between Bryan and I. If I saw you kissing Haley I probably would have reacted the same. It's a natural reaction, to run. I don't blame you for anything."

She shouldn't be letting me off the hook this easily. Not that I wanted her to hate me, but part of me still felt like I deserved it. I definitely didn't deserve to be forgiven and yet here she was, forgiving me.

"You were so angry when you came in." I remembered, "With that guy, you looked at me like you hated me."

"I was drunk." She reminded me, "Don't listen to the ramblings of a drunk person. My defenses were up. I was more angry at myself for drinking than anything else, I just took it out on you."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness." I said quietly, looking down at my hands, "You should hate me."

"Will it make you feel better if I hate you?"

"No." I snapped back up to look into her eyes and she grinned.

"Then stop saying you don't deserve forgiveness. Focus instead on the good, like, giving me a repeat performance of last night." She moved to straddle me pushing me back against the couch as she undid the wrap of her robe revealing that she was wearing nothing underneath.

I gulped loudly, taking her curves in. She was so beautiful. The part of me that still felt guilty chided me, reminding me that I did not deserve this amazing woman.

"So much for taking things slow." I laughed, pulling her down to me as I kissed her roughly.

She giggled in my arms, pulling back slightly and smiling down at me.

"I think Lucas was right. We tried the taking it slow thing in high school and it got us nowhere. Fast is better."

"Fast is better." I agreed, pushing her down to grind into my lap, "Much, much better."

She laughed again, pushing my shirt open and running her fingernails lightly over my chest.

"I love you Nathan Scott."

"Mmm." I closed my eyes and reveled in her touch, barely able to form coherent thoughts, "I love you too Savannah Carter."

She continued her ministrations on me for only a second when an idea suddenly formed in my mind and my eyes popped open.

"Lucas was right." I stated quietly.

She smiled and nodded.

"We've been over that part of the conversation already. We've moved on to the foreplay now."

"No Savannah, Lucas was right." I repeated, causing her brows to furrow, "Vegas is where people come to get married."

Her mouth fell open, her hands falling dead against my chest. A million questions formed in her eyes but I just smiled.

"Your choice Ms. Carter. You wanna move fast or slow?" My grin grew with every passing second, "Marry me."

After several long minutes she leaned down to kiss me and sighed deeply into my mouth. She spoke only three words when she pulled away.

"Fast is better."

_**Author's Note part deux: Sorry for the cliffhanger... not really though. I like cliffhangers cause I'm evil. :) Also, I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter about the sex scene but that would have ruined the anticipation leading up to the sex scene of whether Nathan would be forgiven or not so... yeah! Review now please!**_


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